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Lifestyle Relationships
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Or the person she is deserving of.

Tell her to get off the high horse as well.

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This girl sounds like she cannot really appreciate how much guts it takes to approach a total stranger and think they're worth the trouble of asking out. Its not really a very nice of you is it to judge someone so harshly who actually made the effort of talking to you...is it now? Was he staring at your chest while he asked you? Was he too close? Was he flirting? Was he creepy? Was there a better method available to him of getting your #? An ad in the paper perhaps? Do you think your husband will be your next door neighbor where you already know him? He will also be a stranger to you at some point and could ALSO be a complete jerk. There are no guarantees in life. By the way...if you do end up getting in touch with him...think about how you'll behave because this theory of "waiting for the one man who truly deserves me and all my issues" is just that...a theory. Do you deserve him?

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hey hey but why all you girls are seeing it as that guy who approached that girl could be or could be not a good marriage material for her? i mean why marriage is brought into this? why do girls start imagining the prospects of marriage with so and so guy on the very first instance when he asked her for chat or a phone number?
a girl if feels comfortable can give out her number to a stranger but this should not be done with the sole intention of assessing the guy for marriage. i mean you can find a good friend in him for a life time.

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As a guy, asking a girl is a dangerous proposition. Pakistani girls will always say no first. They will always say no first. They will always blow you off by and large due to culture and traditions. But every Pakistani girl wants the romance of a man who loves her for who she is. So how do you make the two work together? You either date and find romance or you do it via the arranged marriage route.

You can't do it both. You can't have both. So lady you better decide what you want and then forget the other part.

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I don't think she did anything wrong. If he's serious, he should approach through proper channels.

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The question here is what a stranger (a man) should do to initiate future contacts, not what are the intentions of that stranger. That's for the later stage.

If asking phone number in the first meeting is an issue then what is the alternative?

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He should have approached some mutual friend to proceed further ( when some mutual friend introduce us to someone , then in that case we know that this friend of ours is reliable & trustworthy hence he/she will introduce us to someone good ).

Sometimes guys talk to so many girls at the same time & then make fun of them in their circle. They flirt, they do some time pass to kill their time & there they goo… That girl does not want some cheap stories running in the social circle about her.

Its different in this & arranged set up, I mean you just don’t invest your emotions into someone in arranged setup as you do in the other one. There are a lot of chances of end up getting hurt in the other thing "if" the guy turns out to be a ... you know....

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^ Well since this girl is such an expert on guys…why is she second guessing her decision not to give her number? Clearly giving her phone number to a guy is too much for her to handle emotionally…so she should continue saying “no” to every guy who asks for her number and wait for a mutual friend or family to introduce her to Mr. Right. :chai:

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So she will give her number to any Tom, Dick or Harry and then decide how far she wants to go with him? I sure wouldn't want to even date such a girl.

If expressing my thoughts makes me patronising then I am all for it.

Walking up to a girl and asking her straight up "can I have your number", doesn't seem like very imaginative or creative to me. Maybe the guys not approaching aren't interested or don't want to come across as jerks, or maybe have a better opinion of the girl.

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The alternative is that he should sell his home and move in to her neighborhood, enroll in her college or get a job where she works.

Then, the next step would be to become part of her social circle. He needs to become her 'friend first'.... make her like him as a friend first. He should start hanging out with her circle of friends; share common activities etc.

Then he should begin the never ending, elusive process to impress her with his redeeming qualities, persuade her, prove himself to her and win her heart because afterall she needs to like him as a human being first. Care must be taken to conceal the real motives at this stage as this would be very selfish on his part and obviously hurt the sensitivities of the woman.

He should proceed very slowly; very carefully. Finally when the time is right he should 'propose' to her in a very formal manner. This could take atleast 2 years.

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its her choice, she shdnt do anything she dsnt feel comfortable with. i dnt think she did anything wrong. i dnt give my no to random people either.

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I'd never give a guy my number like that and whether that's the right or wrong thing to do doesn't even concern me. Not looking, not interested, not open to dating, end of story.

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^ Totally agree with you.

My question is...why does asking for the girl's # make him an automatic jerk or creep?

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It doesn't but may be he made her feel uncomfortable in some way? Who knows. Also, was this in Pakistan? Because then it's pretty obvious why a girl would get creeped out by a guy asking for her number because this isn't the norm in Pakistan.

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^ No, this wasn't in Pakistan though.

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Okay then only your friend can tell why she found him creepy.

I'm not in Pakistan either and this guy once asked me "aap mere sath special wali franship karo gi?" and it was the creepiest thing ever! -_-

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Barfi, if giving out your number to him right away makes you feel uncomfortable...then consider emailing instead. If things go well via email...then progress to phone number, etc. Yes, it would have made you feel more secure if he approached you via a mutual friend...but maybe he doesn't have a mutual friend...maybe he didn't want to get another party involved because even that can lead to gossip within the social circle.

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As a general rule, when a man expresses his interest in you or approaches you, but he is not attractive; you label him a creep. It usually has little to do with a particular kind of behavior on the man's part.

A guy can be labelled a creep simply because he made eye contact and smiled at a woman at a party. Another guy may not be labelled one even if he persistently tries to persuade a strange married woman at an airport lounge to consider his offer for 'coffee' despite her reluctance.

So there is no definition of creepy behavior. Its all about a woman's whims.

Which is why I believe unless there is an clear intent and effort to make a woman uncomfortable; the label creep should be avoided and instead you should think in terms of whether you're interested or not.

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In my mind...there's absolutely nothing wrong with liking someone. Someone who might be a bit more straightforward will ask you for your phone # because that is a good and safe way to communicate. What could he possibly do to you over the phone? And honestly speaking..............if the OP is having second thoughts about turning this guy down so abruptly...it means he wasn't being creepy. He just got shot down before being given a fair chance and she knows it. She's interested in him but has no idea what to do about it.

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It's pretty common in Pakistan. :)

Seedha number manglo!