Ok you go to some event & a guy gets interested in you. He comes to you at the end of that event & asks for your number. That girl did not give her number to that guy because to her giving your number to total strangers who you don’t even know is not a good idea & that girl is not at all into dating stuff as she does not want to get involved with some random jerk & instead want to have just one person who really deserves her and is worth spending your whole life with. A pretty boring statement but yeah that’s what she believes in.
Do you think what she did was stupid by not giving her number? She started to think that turning down every other guy who approaches her is not a good idea but talking to strangers is not a good idea either. But the thing is that the guy approached her in a decent & nice way … What would you do???
What she did was call that guy jerk without having much information about him. There is nothing wrong in talking to strangers and getting to know them, as far as you stay in your limits.
Guys are interested in only one thing, so you have to be very selective and return interest only if you think there is a possibility of marriage and he is marriage material. However anyone that approaches a girl and just asks for her number sounds like a loser and probably hasn't got much imagination or lacks creativity so he is probably best avoided anyway,.
What she did was call that guy jerk without having much information about him. There is nothing wrong in talking to strangers and getting to know them, as far as you stay in your limits.
What if he turned out to be a jerk, I mean there is this "if" in it. Why would a person talk to a stranger when he/she knows nothing about him/her ? I mean the girl did not even know what is exactly going on in his head.
If that guy has approached her in a decent way then why not? besides we all take chances in our lives..Dont we? Who knows may be he turns out to be the most amazing guy or may be a complete jerk .
If that guy has approached her in a decent way then why not? besides we all take chances in our lives..Dont we? Who knows may be he turns out to be the most amazing guy or may be a complete jerk .
See that's the thing, there is this "may be" in it. What if he is a total jerk? There is so much risk in it. The girl doesn't even know him.
Theres risk involved in everything and if you'll be choosy and picky everytime someone approaches you then i dont think there'll be any choices left for you. I mean in the end we just regret the chances we dont take! And we always meet strangers..we get to know them and later on they become our frds. :p
Well normal people only give their number to someone they're attracted to.. That's hardly 'every stranger', is it..
I don't think it's that big a deal if the guy is chatting to her for 2mins or 20.. the intention to want to get to know her is still the same..
If some stranger came up to you and asked for your number would you give him your number? Well you would do if you were attracted to him according to your statement above. I would assume that if he has just approached you and asked for your number then you can only judge him on his looks? Which is an important point. Looks are ok for a one night stand but for any meaningful long term relationship you would want more. This person would be showing lack of imagination, lack of creativity and lack of originality if he or she just approached you and asked for your number, therefore how long you chat with him or her before giving your number becomes important as the longer that you chat the more time that you have to judge or assess the other person based on other things besides his or her looks. The longer that you chat the better position you will be in to make a more informed choice.
So how does this girl meet people (forget rishta…even make new female friends) if she’s not willing to talk to strangers? What does she do at school and/or work? Refuse to communicate with all the strangers around her? After all, she has no idea what’s going on in their head either.
Why is the girl thinking so negatively? What if he turned out to be the perfect guy for her? And besides…there are MANY cases where women married a guy who was their 1st cousin…or even a guy who she met through family…and AFTER marriage…he turned out to be a jerk. Nothing in life is guaranteed. If the girl doesn’t want to date and get to know the guy due to religious/cultural beliefs then that’s fine. But the logic being given so far behind not sharing the number seems childish.
And I’m not sure what country this girl lives in but its very common for strangers to talk to each other in the U.S. if the other person gives an indication that they’re open to having a conversation. I’ve held small conversations with strangers (men AND women) at the gym, various events, even at the airport/airplane (usually person sitting near me) etc. Its not as earth shattering as you’re making it out to be…at least not here in the U.S.
I wouldn't give my number to some random guy. If a guy randomly walks unto me and asks for my number, I would think he is a creep.
Maybe he could have given her his own number so she could think about it. Perhaps a nice intro would have been nice too.
Let me share a story. Several years ago I was waiting at the bar area of a restaurant…waiting for a friend to show up/table. This desi guy came up to me and started talking. General chit chat about the restaurant…conversation starter. He was polite but I could tell he was flirting with me. During the conversation he had mentioned he was there with a group of guys celebrating something. After a few minutes 1 of his friends came over and indicated they were ready to leave.
Right then the guy asked me…very nervously I might add…“Can I please have your number? I’d love to take you out to dinner sometime.” To be honest, I didn’t think he was hot or anything lol. He just seemed nice, a bit dorky, and I was amused by how nervous he seemed talking to me. And I saw that 3-4 guys were waiting by the entrance for him…watching us. I knew that if he walked away without my number…his friends would rip him into shreads.. So I wrote my number down on a piece of napkin and gave it to him. And I’m not even sure why I wrote down my real number and not a fake one…lol. Anyway, he called me 3-4 days later, and we met for dinner the next night at a local sushi place. He turned out to be a medical resident so he was educated with a bright future, and I had a good time talking to him. A week later we met up again…and so began the process of getting to know each other.
4 years later… I married him.
PS. My husband doesn’t have much imagination, creativity or originality. And that hasn’t made me love him any less…or effected his ability to be an amazing husband to me. He’s not perfect…neither am I. Looking back…giving my number to a “stranger” at a frigging bar of all places was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.
Ok you go to some event & a guy gets interested in you. He comes to you at the end of that event & asks for your number. That girl did not give her number to that guy because to her giving your number to total strangers who you don’t even know is not a good idea & that girl is not at all into dating stuff as she does not want to get involved with some random jerk & instead want to have just one person who really deserves her and is worth spending your whole life with. A pretty boring statement but yeah that’s what she believes in.
Do you think what she did was stupid by not giving her number? She started to think that turning down every other guy who approaches her is not a good idea but talking to strangers is not a good idea either. But the thing is that the guy approached her in a decent & nice way … What would you do???
Oh gag me--she sounds like she's in a fairy world.
In real life, that's how "strangers" become friends, you approach them or they approach you. With males or females, someone has to initiate, no?
It's a phone #, a conversation--she's not giving up her virginity to him in that 1 conversation.
She should really stick to a strictly arranged marriage if she doesn't want guys to appraoch her.
See that's the thing, there is this "may be" in it. What if he is a total jerk? There is so much risk in it. The girl doesn't even know him.
What if he turned out to be a jerk, I mean there is this "if" in it. Why would a person talk to a stranger when he/she knows nothing about him/her ? I mean the girl did not even know what is exactly going on in his head.
Barfi,
Even if you were to have an arranged marriage, isn't there always the chance that the guy could be a jerk after marriage? Isn't that risk always going to be there. A guy can be on his best behavior in front of your parents, so how will you know what he's really like if you don't talk to him?
If you're firmly against dating or interacting a with a guy without your parents' consent/knowledge, then why are you concerned about whether what you did was a stupid mistake or not? In this case what you should do is to only consider guys who send their rishta to you and meet the guy in your parents' presence. And then you and him can inform the parents that you'd like to get to know each other for a while before making a decision. That way your parents will be aware of everything.
That would be the more Islamically correct way I guess...for a guy to make his intentions clear at the start to you and ur parents and then get to know you. But many people prefer to involve the parents only after they are sure that they've found the person they want to marry....which may be how the guy in question prefers to do things.
But the main point is that even if you don't date and meet a guy via arranged rishta route....u wont know if he's a jerk unless you to talk to him.
Guys are interested in only one thing, so you have to be very selective and return interest only if you think there is a possibility of marriage and he is marriage material. However anyone that approaches a girl and just asks for her number sounds like a loser and probably hasn't got much imagination or lacks creativity so he is probably best avoided anyway,.
If he is interested in only one thing she will find out and can then decide whether she wants that one thing or not.
You sound patronizing.
And the one who takes the initiative probably still has more creativity and imagination than those who sit on their behinds.
The process should be a lot simpler. You approach someone; they are not interested; you move on to another. There shouldn't be a need for social acrobatics.
What does she do at school and/or work? Refuse to communicate with all the strangers around her? After all, she has no idea what’s going on in their head either.
So I wrote my number down on a piece of napkin and gave it to him. And I’m not even sure why I wrote down my real number and not a fake one…lol. Anyway, he called me 3-4 days later, and we met for dinner the next night at a local sushi place. He turned out to be a medical resident so he was educated with a bright future, and I had a good time talking to him. A week later we met up again…and so began the process of getting to know each other.