So there was this girl that I really really liked and one reason or another it didnt work out.
Fast forward, several months, my uncle is finding an “arranged” marriage for me with another girl. I have met her and that girl seems very decent , well educated and what not. But I just cant forget my ex, its been hard getting over. And god dammit I know I wont be able to love my wife fully with that other girl still in my head.
Am I just being retarded here? and more importantly, is it fair to the new girl that I might get into a very serious relationship with her (ie MARRIAGE!!) without being 100% into her?
Arranged marriage is like arranged feeding in my opinion. Imaging if someone else had to take complete charge of feeding you. How would they know when you're hungry? When you're full? What you like to eat? What you don't like? Coming back to arranged marriage, now conflate this with the general taboo about talking about sex. Both parents and the kids will need masters in communications to pull it off.
Arranged marriage is like arranged feeding in my opinion. Imaging if someone else had to take complete charge of feeding you. How would they know when you're hungry? When you're full? What you like to eat? What you don't like? Coming back to arranged marriage, now conflate this with the general taboo about talking about sex. Both parents and the kids will need masters in communications to pull it off.
this rambling had nothing to with what i asked but thanks i guess...
very true my friend but its a very very bitter pill for me to swallow (in terms of forgetting the past)..but thanks a lot for the encouragement. I think I really do need some positive reinforecement.
dont marry her untill you get the first girl out of your head
she shouldnt suffer because you cant forget the first girl
yeh but what if this new girl , in due time, helps me forget the old one? know what i mean..?
Arranged marriage is like arranged feeding in my opinion. Imaging if someone else had to take complete charge of feeding you. How would they know when you're hungry? When you're full? What you like to eat? What you don't like? Coming back to arranged marriage, now conflate this with the general taboo about talking about sex. Both parents and the kids will need masters in communications to pull it off.
lol are you serious? you want to me to tell the new girl that while I might end up marrying her, she does not have 100% of my heart/love because of some ex that I still cant get fully over? shahreyar bhai yeh ladki bhi haath sey nikalvao gay merey…
very true my friend but its a very very bitter pill for me to swallow (in terms of forgetting the past)..but thanks a lot for the encouragement. I think I really do need some positive reinforecement.
you can go ahead with the marriage...but knowing full well that you haven't forgotten this other girl:
you will have to make a determined effort to focus solely on this girl
you will have to understand she has no part in your past and you cannot under any circumstances punish her for what happened to you
the above may seem like duh but after a very serious relationship that goes downhill...its easy to let the next person you meet feel the after effects.
i would not do this if i were you but it seems like you might go ahead with it
you can go ahead with the marriage...but knowing full well that you haven't forgotten this other girl:
you will have to make a determined effort to focus solely on this girl
you will have to understand she has no part in your past and you cannot under any circumstances punish her for what happened to you
the above may seem like duh but after a very serious relationship that goes downhill...its easy to let the next person you meet feel the after effects.
i would not do this if i were you but it seems like you might go ahead with it
good luck
no comeon..punish is a such strong word. I hope I never become such a person - I'd be greatly ashamed of myself.
So you would not to this? but for how long? i mean don't need you need someone else to help you overcome your "ex"? i mean i dont want to spend years just in the previous girls rememberance. So a big part of me does want to move on, its just that with this new girl, I didn't click as well as I did with the past one, if that makes any sense.
