Ok, I am too much in love with one of my prospects. I have been acting like a teenager again. Listen to romantic songs all the time. I am incapable of staying intact to my career and education. I am almost done with my degree and dont want to ruin my grades. Maybe, I was lonely but now with my family’s help, I have found the right person that I’d be spending my life with… Proposal process takes roughly 4 months but I am heading over heels. I think it is the same from his side but I feel like it is a lot more from my side. I have been expecting too much time from him.
I believe in achieving high goals in life and remaining an independent woman so I am ready for any ups and downs of life. I feel like my mind has been lost gradually.
I really need to chill and relax but I can’t focus on anything except him. Seems like I am in love or maybe I want to get married soon.
I have no idea what is going on with me. I was an ambitious person who would just care for myself the most so I can walk with the society. Am I desperate? HELP ME! I am not a teenager. I do not want to loose my identity!
It's funny how you used the phrase "one of my prospects" for your finance.
*
In the tone of Ghabbar Singh, may I ask "bsb, kitne aadmi thay"?*
TLK bahi, rishtay tho bohat thay ma Sha Allah but mujhe koi nahi pasand aa raha tha... Ab jo aaya hai us k leye ajeeb se harqatay ker rahi houn. I HATE IT! I feel i am losing myself :((((((((((
Maybe sing a song...music is a wonderful to way to clear your mind of distractions....I think GS is having another singing competition, you should join in...it will lift your spirits
If you're seeing that you're losing yourself, be smart enough to push the brakes now. The more emotionally attached you get, the more hurt you'll be if this rishta doesn't take place. Keep yourself busy with school, work, and other things. Especially focus on namaz/ibadat etc. You have to push yourself to become detached; it's a conscious effort you have to make on your own, nobody can do it for you. Maybe take a break from the romantic songs because they don't distract or keep you busy; instead they make you fantasize even more about him, the relationship, and a future that may or may not take place. Listening to them may be fun, and it may feel good, but it's not helping you. Having made the mistake myself, it's not wise to love anybody to the point that everything else in your life, including you, take a backseat. Don't lose yourself like that...people and relationships are neither permanent, nor come with guarantees.
Thanks for your suggestions. I will try to avoid from romantic songs because I feel like they are influencing me greatly.
If I act this way, it basically means that I am taking the risk by allowing someone to hurt me. I should be strong enough not to let the current situation distract my priorities. This love and attachment thing is so weird because I would be sharing my entire life with him. Seems like that I can't control my hormones.lol
I have had a horrible experience in the past where I have given so much to a guy and end up hurting myself badly because of emotional attachment... I really do not want to make that mistake with my potential husband. It is hard to control.
Bb,
If you're seeing that you're losing yourself, be smart enough to push the brakes now. The more emotionally attached you get, the more hurt you'll be if this rishta doesn't take place. Keep yourself busy with school, work, and other things. Especially focus on namaz/ibadat etc. You have to push yourself to become detached; it's a conscious effort you have to make on your own, nobody can do it for you. Maybe take a break from the romantic songs because they don't distract or keep you busy; instead they make you fantasize even more about him, the relationship, and a future that may or may not take place. Listening to them may be fun, and it may feel good, but it's not helping you. Having made the mistake myself, it's not wise to love anybody to the point that everything else in your life, including you, take a backseat. Don't lose yourself like that...people and relationships are neither permanent, nor come with guarantees.
I have had a horrible experience in the past where I have given so much to a guy and end up hurting myself badly because of emotional attachment... I really do not want to make that mistake with my potential husband. It is hard to control.
How long has it been since your past relationship with mr horrible that ended up hurting you badly? I hope you are totally recovered and over it before you jumped into this new potential husband rishta. It's just we tend to never think straight if we are still in recovery mode of being badly hurt by someone we put a lot of hope and care into. This potential is soon to be life partner, hopefully the fog clears of that initial feeling of love in the air and you are looking at it practically. Is it really love though if you haven't lived with him? I think real, true love happens only after you've look at his flaws, however few he might have, dead in the eye and analyzed them into ones you can live with and still love and care for him.
of course you have flaws too but since you are floating on cloud 9 right now, come down to earth and think practically and not emotionally at this time. Keep emotions as far away as possible because these are uncertain times like RV said. He might seem very wonderful, dreamy, and perfect but realize you are giving him the power to hurt you if you totally fall for him hard. Recovery time will take longer if you fall face down. You really don't know him that well.
It has been over 5years... It took me many years to recover from that horrible experience. As I have mentioned above, I end up rejecting all of my proposals until I have found the right one whose mentality matches with mine. I know that I am going to be with him... The feeling of being loved and appreciated is putting me into cloud 9. Yes, I should stay on earth because i dont want to deal with pain or hurt.... Especially, once you have been hurt then it is really hard to move on and give your heart to someone else. I have went through struggle but thank God that I am looking forward to my future.
How long has it been since your past relationship with mr horrible that ended up hurting you badly? I hope you are totally recovered and over it before you jumped into this new potential husband rishta. It's just we tend to never think straight if we are still in recovery mode of being badly hurt by someone we put a lot of hope and care into. This potential is soon to be life partner, hopefully the fog clears of that initial feeling of love in the air and you are looking at it practically. Is it really love though if you haven't lived with him? I think real, true love happens only after you've look at his flaws, however few he might have, dead in the eye and analyzed them into ones you can live with and still love and care for him.
of course you have flaws too but since you are floating on cloud 9 right now, come down to earth and think practically and not emotionally at this time. Keep emotions as far away as possible because these are uncertain times like RV said. He might seem very wonderful, dreamy, and perfect but realize you are giving him the power to hurt you if you totally fall for him hard. Recovery time will take longer if you fall face down. You really don't know him that well.
So there is light at the end of the tunnel, good to know. i’m praying it works out well for you since you were very careful this time around but promise you’ll stay away from those lovey dovey songs and dreamy thoughts that are distracting you from bettering yourself educationally and professionally until you’re wedding day when it’s a bit more permanent? He’ll respect you more if you’re emotionally strong. Relationships are hard so hopefully you keep it going even after marriage. Stay focused BB, happy for you.
