I am a british pakistani i come from a great family and my life has generally been good.
I have noticed a pattern about myself though, i seem to get involved with men who are emotionally unavailable and treat me badly, the pain is almost pleasure in a psycho way :s
My parents have introduced me to a man. We have met very very breifly once like but now we are talking alot via email.
He is great, he is successful, we share the same interests and outlook on life, we have a similar upbringing.
I enjoy emailing him and recieving his emails. He seems genuine, down to earth and seems to like me and compliments me.
He is coming to my house in my few days for our families to meet in a formal rishta meeting.
BUT i am overly suspicious of him because HES SO NICE! he is exactly what i want and i cant believe it…
I dont know whats wrong with me…i feel like i dont deserve it!
I am a british pakistani i come from a great family and my life has generally been good.
I have noticed a pattern about myself though, i seem to get involved with men who are emotionally unavailable and treat me badly, the pain is almost pleasure in a psycho way :s
My parents have introduced me to a man. We have met very very breifly once like but now we are talking alot via email.
He is great, he is successful, we share the same interests and outlook on life, we have a similar upbringing.
I enjoy emailing him and recieving his emails. He seems genuine, down to earth and seems to like me and compliments me.
He is coming to my house in my few days for our families to meet in a formal rishta meeting.
BUT i am overly suspicious of him because HES SO NICE! he is exactly what i want and i cant believe it...
I dont know whats wrong with me....i feel like i dont deserve it!
I used to feel that way about my SO...but not anymore. My advise to you...and I know this will sound harsh...but get over it! If HE thought that you weren't "good enough" for him...then he wouldn't have agreed to meet you.
Work on your self-confidence....b/c honestly, lack of confidence is not very attractive.
KKF-hmmmmm no i dont think im a commitment phobe, its not being with someone for ever which scares me...its like how can someone so amazing come into my life??
KKF-hmmmmm no i dont think im a commitment phobe, its not being with someone for ever which scares me...its like how can someone so amazing come into my life??
In that case, just consider yourself lucky and go with the flow! best of luck!
Thanks for your advice paheli (what does SO stand for?)
I have high self confidence, but I think i have low self worth. Working on that isnt something which happens over night i guess.
SO = Significant other
No, it's not going to happen over night. But you need to realize that you feeling that way is a result of low self-worth and NOT b/c you don't deserve him.....
When you accept the above, that's when you start working on your self-worth.
Thanks for your advice paheli (what does SO stand for?)
I have high self confidence, but I think i have low self worth. Working on that isnt something which happens over night i guess.
in that case, just make a thorough investigation about the guy if he is genuine. right?
No, it's not going to happen over night. But you need to realize that you feeling that way is a result of low self-worth and NOT b/c you don't deserve him.....
When you accept the above, that's when you start working on your self-worth.
yeah paheli you are right ive got to somehow get my brain changing its internal dialogue to....You do deserve it not You dont deserve it.
i know what you’re talking about, it’s b/c you were with a man in the past that didn’t treat you well and probably put you down constantly. you did say that the previous men you were involved with did treat you badly. you’re probably thinking this guy might be a wolf in sheep’s clothing so to speak. I totally understand what you mean, thank god you aren’t with those men anymore, you’re probably saying “come on what are you waiting for, spring the pain on me sooner rather than later” in your mind with this new guy.
but i think you can take this slowly and learn from whatever bad past you had but don’t bring any of those feelings when you’re with this man. He might actually be one that is sweet and decent. so be cautious, don’t be impulsive, be practical and go with the flow. enjoy yourself with him glad to hear the news though
Omg thankyou Nisha, i feel like you are my brain talking to me. Especially the part where you said ‘come on hurt me sooner rather than later’ thats what it feels like.
I have been sitting here thinking about it and i thought back to one man who i was in a realtionship with.
He told me i was too ugly for him and then broke up with me (only to spend a year crying at my doorstep after) that really affected me.
well aren’t you glad you ditched that jerk . be positive and get your self esteem up (easier said than done, I know!), b/c like somebody said above, an attitude of constantly putting yourself down ain’t attractive, be confident about your beauty(inside and out) and all the good points you possess. if he’s really sweet and wonderful you deserve him and don’t think otherwise.
glad to hear the news though
. be positive and get your self esteem up (easier said than done, I know!), b/c like somebody said above, an attitude of constantly putting yourself down ain’t attractive, be confident about your beauty(inside and out) and all the good points you possess. if he’s really sweet and wonderful you deserve him and don’t think otherwise.