Hi Everyone,
How do you moms handle toddlers when the trow tantrum at meal time. My daughter is 21 months old and she doesn’t want to eat at all. I tried many things but nothing seems to work.
She cries alot when I give her food and keeps the food in her mouth for long time and at the end she spits out.
Please share your experience.
Thanks
its normal for kids at this age to show tantrums and not eat.
my nephew loves eating and we give him what he wants.
whereas my nieces dont. their mum runs after them with the food in her hand.
talk to your daughter and ask her what she wants to eat. mybe make small kabab in different shapes, involve her in making than fry for her and eat together. she would enjoy this. i have tried this and it works.
cant force her to eat.
dont give her too many choices about what she can or cant eat.
Re: Toddlers eating problem
Thanks aiklarki for your suggestions.
The problem is one day she like something and the next day she doesn't like it at all. At the age of 9-14 months she loved chicken but now she says a big "Noooo" to it :(
There is one more problem, she doesn't speak lots of word so that I can clearly ask her what she wants to eat.I show her different food like rice,chapatis,fruits and she says"No". Usually she like raw rice which not very healthy but eats it only when she is in a good mood. I stopped giving her bottle at day time so that she'll fell hungry and ask for food. But it's not working she becomes more cranky when she's hungry.
once i was told by speach pathologist that a child must about 200 words by the age of 18 months and should be able to make 2 word sentence such as 'mum milk'. and she said that sometimes child has hearing problems due to which he/she may not communicate well or show too much tantrums.
may be get her ears checked or see speach pathologist.
should not give her too much milk as it would reduce her hunger and may not want to eat.
tell her what she can nor not have. no other choice. maybe take her shopping centre tell her choose fruits or vagetables that she wants to eat. this will encourage her to eat
Re: Toddlers eating problem
She repeats words whatever we say.She asks for water by calling it "Maani" and milk as "didi".When we ask her to bring remote,glass or some toy she immediately brings the required thing.So it doesn't seems that she's having such a hearing problem, regarding the speech problem I talked to her doctor ans she said it's okay there is no problem as long as she understands and try to repeat words.
Her problem is she tries to say a complete sentence (all gibrish). She is a hyper kid.Never stays still, always exploring the world.
I tried her to chose the meal by herself...she takes that also but after eating 1 bite she gives it back :(
Re: Toddlers eating problem
ANd yes... I give her only 16 oz of milk in 24 hrs which is just the required amount of milk for her age.
Re: Toddlers eating problem
My little one is 27 months old and she still goes through phases of not eating anything some days. She had gotten better over the months but what her doctor told me is that as long as she is getting some calories in from a variety of sources, she'll be fine. Don't try to feed her. Cut up some banana and keep it somewhere she can see, or keep some strawberries, pieces of chicken, bread, cheese, easy finger foods that she can access and pick up. Slowly she will experiment with them and like some. Then move on to foods which need spoon, like yoghurt, pudding. Even rice and boiled pasta with butter is easy.
But the idea is for no formal event to happen at mealtime for picky kids. Otherwise tension!
Thanks Niksik,
Thats what I do but I feel like in this case she won't have the mealtime descipline. It becomes pain when we go outside and she remains hungry for the entire day.
I always wonder how come these american kids are so disciplined specially in eating proper meal.
One more question ...what age is good for giving them a timeout ?
Re: Toddlers eating problem
The discipline comes with age I guess, but you are right, there are perhaps more American kids with a disciplined eating pattern. I'm not sure of the reasons because I have never really asked anyone. I guess we all end up doing what works best for us.
Don't worry about her remaining hungry. Keep snacks for her, like cheese sticks/slices, Gerber Toddler snacks, buy fries, and she does have her milk. Offer her food whenever you are hungry or evry 3-4 hours. She will take something at some point.
Timeouts. Well, I gave my daughter a timeout around the age of your kid. I'm not sure she got the entire message but the next time se repeated that behavior, she looked at me for my reaction.
Re: Toddlers eating problem
Thanks Niksik for your valuable advice :)
Re: Toddlers eating problem
You're welcome Teazy. All kids are different so don't worry. I think we mom's worry too much sometimes.
Re: Toddlers eating problem
Teazy, less stress is the answer. Kids will eat if they're hungry.
My daughter eats for 2 weeks straight.. its complete gobble gobble gobble.. and other days where she just wont touch a thing. Im not fussed about it cus I know she'll let me know when she eats. (Yesterday, she spent the whole day eating various kinds of bread!).
My daughter is only 19months.. i am trying to discipline her... but it doesnt always work. She's starting childcare in 3 weeks and I know she'll be set after that. I actually think its gonna be great for her learning and growing up. Plus, its so cute when they all sit around the table with the bibs on, eating healthy stuff...
Re: Toddlers eating problem
Its pretty normal. Both my kids are like that. My son however who is 7 has become much better at eating now. he used tos pit it out too and there was no sickness like reflux etc involved either. One thing is, desis are genetaically predisposed (not all but average) to be of smaller build so the kids eat less as most of them are not going to grow up to be over 6 feet tall and will not have the bone structure to match.
Regarding talking, she seems fine. My son talked much less and teh doctor said 2 words by 2 years, not 18 months. Anyways, he is a talking amchine now. My daughter was more verbal than him but not as much as lots of other kids.
BTW my son didn't touch chicekn till he was 3 years old. My daughter who is almsot 3 also has to be force fed, otherwise all she wants are fruit.
Re: Toddlers eating problem
I have to say here that the statement "kids will eat when they get hungry" can be very far from true. My son had very severe eating issues, speech delay, undiagnosed medical problems that contributed to this. Its been a nightmare of people (including some professionals) who do not understand real feeding issues. Teazy, this may NOT be the case with your daughter at all but it should be investigated.
When children refuse to eat - to the point that their growth chart "falls", it is almost invariably a medical condition that makes eating a painful or unpleasant experience for them. Toddlers percentile for height should be about the same as their percentile for weight. If there is a big gap between the two, the child is considered "Failure to Thrive". My son was always small - 20th percentile for height. His weight initially was around 20th %tile too. But then it fell to 10th at his 9 month checkup. And down more to 3rd %tile by 18 months. Height remained steady at 20th so he had a big gap there. When this happens, it could be due to reflux, delayed gastric emptying (food does not pass thru the system as quickly as it should so the child always feels full), parasite such as Giardia, dysphasia which is difficulty controlling the muscles of the throat and mouth (which can make the child fearful of choking so the child spits food out). A speech delay along with a feeding aversion should indicate to the doc that a "swallow study" should be done to see how well the child is able to use the mouth and swallowing muscles. A pediatric GI specialist can check for reflux and gastric issues. An SLP (Speech Language Pathologist) is the type of specialist who helps little ones overcome issues of speech and feeding.
Anyway, its well worth looking into instead of worrying all the time and hearing those constant comments about how she'll eat when she gets hungry. Moms are the ones who know best and if you suspect that there is more going on here, then there probably is. There is a wonderful site called parent-2-parent that consists of many, many Moms who have kids with feeding issues, gastric issues, speech delays etc. You can benefit greatly from their caring advice. But best thing to do is see the doc and INSIST that the doc look into this a bit more.
Good luck!
Re: Toddlers eating problem
Actually if I give my children sweet stuff and junk food and even fruit they will eat it happily. So it can't be a swollwing thing!! There was some speech dealy with my son (doctors say he was fine) but both are halthy as a horse. A lot of it is genetics, my Dh who is 5 feet nine and a half inches is 122 pounds and hardly gets sick. I have seen this issue in many desi kids , all of them can't have reflux. Though of cpurse, you should get it checked it out just to be safe.
My little one is 27 months old and she still goes through phases of not eating anything some days. She had gotten better over the months but what her doctor told me is that as long as she is getting some calories in from a variety of sources, she'll be fine. Don't try to feed her. Cut up some banana and keep it somewhere she can see, or keep some strawberries, pieces of chicken, bread, cheese, easy finger foods that she can access and pick up. Slowly she will experiment with them and like some. Then move on to foods which need spoon, like yoghurt, pudding. Even rice and boiled pasta with butter is easy.
But the idea is for no formal event to happen at mealtime for picky kids. Otherwise tension!
This is the best advice , been there done that. My wife and I used to worry and would force feed our first kid but then I read an article in Readers Digest on this subject by a pediatrician . We calmed down stopped force feeding the kid and did what Niksik is talking about.
Sometimes we think that our kid is not eating enough and compare them with other kids who are eating machines , but we need to realize that each kid is different.
Re: Toddlers eating problem
I also remember that as a child I was a really poor eater. So much so that mom would find pieces of roti and botis under the table, inside drawers and flower pots (
). I gave my parents a real hard time until I was around 4-5 and after that I became fine.
Re: Toddlers eating problem
Mine eats nothing as well...dont know how she actually manages to keep up her growth. Junk food like chips cakes she is ok but not actual food. So now i give her what she likes like pastas and spaghettis and fried rice (when she is in the mood) But I try add boiled veggies and meat blend in with tomatoes so its thoroughly disguised. But I keep up the milk and fruits and cheeses. Its so disheartening when kids eat nothing. I tried the approach of "she will eat when hungry" for 3 weeks...believe me she ate fruits and had milk only for that time.
Good Luck!!
Sadzzz : I fell that she is hungry but still she doesn't wanna eat.She becomes more cranky and asks for the bottle.But even if I give her bottle she will use it as a pacifier not drinking milk. People say that if you send her in daycare she'll be fine.But I don't think this is a permanent solution, I have friends who's kids are poor eater and are going to the daycare, they eat fine during weekdays but no meals in weekends or when they are with thier parents.
Eastern11 : In my family my hubby is 6'3 and I am 5'5 my daughter is also above 90 percentile in height but around 40 in weight.2 months back her head circumfarance was seems steady that's why I was worried about her.Her doctor told that she's not taking enough because the head circumfarance is the last thing that gets effected in growth. For her speech I think she's okay.
mamaof3 : Thanks dear for your valuable advice. Her doc said to try different things and find out what's her favourite food and then in a couple of months if nothing seems fine then we'll think of other options.I have tried giving her different kind of foods in every 2-3 hrs and seeing that she is taking small quantity of each.It's a pain as I have to always think of introducing different kind of food every hour.LEt's see what the improvement in next routine checkup.
Re: Toddlers eating problem
Mirch : YEs mirch you are right each kid is different.I have stopped worrying now :)
Niksik : Yes... My hubby was a poor eater so think she took that from him. I feel sad for my MIL :D
Aly-sam : She doesn't like cheez,pizza,yougurt so I have less option left :(