Re: To those women who would want a divorce just because their husband takes another
So why can't the same ladies advocate 'khula' as women's Islamic right when her husband fails to provide her a separate house? Quran doesn't say that you must live separately from your in laws nor there is a hadith advocating the exact thing, then why the women's is told to bear the unhappy situation when Islam has given her a way out?
I am playing a devil'a advocate here but its amusing to see religion being used as tool make stuff up and reject stuff to suit their own benefits.
If a woman is really unhappy for any reason (inc the housing issue) I don't see the problem with divorce..
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
Sorry but your post suggested otherwise.
My point isn't about someone taking a 14 hour long flight to take a wife on humanitarian basis (some may very well do, my Lebanese college may very well come back with a widowed cousin...who knows) **it's about someone saying so confidently how's she's never seen groups of widows being left behind any support. Thats just plain ignorance. You wouldn't be saying if you'd lived in Pakistan and surveyed the rural areas.
**Thats all I'm saying, other than I have no interest in knowing whether your or anyone's husband is interested in or not interested in taking a second wife for whatever reason.
Again, you're arguing with me for no reason whatsover, taking my post on a whole different tangent and calling me ignorant. Where I live, there is no such plague or situation that would warrant my husband to consider taking a second wife do to wars or to the plight of masses of widowed muslim women. I don't live in Pakistan, you're right...and as long as we are bringing up Pakistan, there are men in my family who took second wives..not because they were widowed or impoverished from rural areas, but because these men were having affairs with their office secrataries and decided to make it halal by marrying them. So please leave pakistan out of this.
Re: To those women who would want a divorce just because their husband takes another
So why can't the same ladies advocate 'khula' as women's Islamic right when her husband fails to provide her a separate house? Quran doesn't say that you must live separately from your in laws nor there is a hadith advocating the exact thing, then why the women's is told to bear the unhappy situation when Islam has given her a way out?
I am playing a devil'a advocate here but its amusing to see religion being used as tool make stuff up and reject stuff to suit their own benefits.
Sadly i've seen/known a number of men that have chosen to take second wives and not one of them have had the intention of providing for a needy woman that cannot take care of herself.
I liked your post because it reflects the true spirit behind polygamy in Islam. Unfortunately religion is twisted more often than not to suit a person's preference when it comes to this subject.
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
for everyone that is asking why marriage is necessary to provide "help" to a widow......
the concept of "supporting" refers to providing all her needs (mental and physical).
by entering into nikah the man would commit to providing her with both. get it?
this is supposed to save her from sin.
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
Again, you're arguing with me for no reason whatsover, taking my post on a whole different tangent and calling me ignorant. Where I live, there is no such plague or situation that would warrant my husband to consider taking a second wife do to wars or to the plight of masses of widowed muslim women. I don't live in Pakistan, you're right...and as long as we are bringing up Pakistan, there are men in my family who took second wives..not because they were widowed or impoverished from rural areas, but because these men were having affairs with their office secrataries and decided to make it halal by marrying them. So please leave pakistan out of this.
Don't get too defensive and read my post again. Why do you think I'm here to argue what you or husband thinks about second marriage or whether you or him supports the idea or how practical it is or isn't according to your lifestyle. I don't have any interest in any of this. I'm glad you have corrected your stance, from your post, It'd didn't appear you were talking about the situation of women from Houston and I thought otherwise. That's all for now.
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
f*or everyone that is asking why marriage is necessary to provide "help" to a widow......
*
the concept of "supporting" refers to providing all her needs (mental and physical).
by entering into nikah the man would commit to providing her with both. get it?
this is supposed to save her from sin.
I'm glad you brought that up, I as a woman find this so insulting. Sorry, that kind of "help" is not what a woman needs or desire: whether unmarried or divorced/widowed, be it Muslim or non Muslim. It'd be nice if ladies here can stop reducing the status of divorced or widowed woman's to the level of faqeer.
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
i don't understand why multiple wives are ok. do we allow people or look up to people who have multiple girlfriends at once? seems bizarre right?
Are you honestly equating a status of a nikkah'd wife to a mistress?
I think it'd be quite useful if you make a thread in religious forum asking why Allah talah "ok'd" multiple wives as it such a bizzare rule because the discussion going on here is on entirely different subject.
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
But in this day and age…why not help her find a man who is not married? Don’t men know other men in the community? Co-workers/friends etc? Even men in their own family…younger brothers, cousins etc. When the intention is to truly help a widow to meet HER personal physical/mental needs…why not try to get rishtas for her from men who themselves are widows/divorcees/never married etc?
The men that want to take on the MAJOR lifelong responsibility of taking care of a 2nd wife + additional children b/c they just really want to help a widow in need…why not focus all that energy/time in spreading the message among their fellow Muslim brothers who currently do not have a wife that they should consider marrying these widows?
For the record, if a man wants to marry a 2nd, 3rd, 4th wife and his current wife/wives do not have any issues with it…then I see nothing wrong. I’m aware of the fact that there are women who would happily choose to be a polygamous marriage.
Also, I understand the actual religious teaching on this and how it’s meant to be practiced. My issue is how it’s actually practiced today. Like I said already…for some reason the 2nd, 3rd, 4th wife usually happens to be prettier, younger, unmarried woman. I don’t see Muslim men wanting to “help” flocking to widows who are 30+ (don’t women in their 40’s/50’s etc. have “needs” too?) and snatching them up as wife #2.
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
So you would divorce him just because he is exercising his god-given right?
If he treats you good, fulfils all your needs then why would you divorce him just because he took on another? Which btw is his Islamic right if he can be fair with you and your co-wife.
Would you rather have half a good husband or no husband at all?
Just because? *lol this situation isn't just because for me. And like many others have said, he can practice his God-given right, then why is a woman being questioned about leaving her husband *just because her husband's re-marrying, when she also has a God-given right of walking out of a marriage if she isn't happy?
Chalk it up to being selfish or insecure - but I can't share my man with anyone. Personally, it would drive me crazy. And the whole concept of marriage, to me, is that it's a team of TWO. We're both PARTNERS who only need/want each other to fulfill our life goals among other things. Throw in a third person and well...the whole dynamics change. And if I can't be enough for my husband then I'm not sticking around. There are other men out there. And there's also women who chose to live their life as singles and happy. It doesn't have to be either/or between half a husband or no husband.
What on earth is half a husband anyway? Would a husband want 'half a wife'?!
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
I'm glad you brought that up, I as a woman find this so insulting. Sorry, that kind of "help" is not what a woman needs or desire: whether unmarried or divorced/widowed, be it Muslim or non Muslim. It'd be nice if ladies here can stop reducing the status of divorced or widowed woman's to the level of faqeer.
sorry...perhaps I am not reading you right.....
what do you find insulting? the part that the religion as made accommodation to look after the widow's physical needs?
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
hey…I was just explaining something…
I’m in agreement with you.
Having said that…I wonder how a single muslim male would regard the suggestion that he should marry a widow, perhaps one that has a child or two in tow, when the recommendation is likely coming from a man that has already fulfilled his “right” to marry a virgin.
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
sorry...perhaps I am not reading you right.....
what do you find insulting? the part that the religion as made accommodation to look after the widow's physical needs?
I meant some people think financial "help" (enough money to buy two meals a day) is all what a divorced and widowed women need in life. No, that's not it. That's not why Islam encourages divorced or married women to remarry as soon as they can so there's someone to afford her meals or pay her bills. The whole idea of marriage goes a lot deeper than that.
Sorry I'm at work therefore cannot make long posts. Will get back to my point later.
Re: To those women who would want a divorce just because their husband takes another
Feelings change when the situation changes.
How do Arab ladies keep their feelings intact after their husbands married to other ladies. I heard that its still common in Arabs and they don't consider it a taboo.
Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife
Of course you are…great minds think alike!
LOL…VERY interesting question. I wonder if anyone in this forum has encountered a married Muslim man trying to convince another Muslim single man that he should consider rishtas from divorcees/widows too. After all…its not only the virgins who are at risk of committing sin.
Don’t men know other men in the community? Co-workers/friends etc? Even men in their own family…younger brothers, cousins etc. When the intention is to truly help a widow to meet HER personal physical/mental needs…why not try to get rishtas for her from men who themselves are widows/divorcees/never married etc?
Love never dies.
After all…its not only the virgins who are at risk of committing sin. 
Is Polyandry allowed by anyway in Islam.