To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife

[PashtunWarrior]

Re: To women who would want a divorce just because husband takes another wife

@Princess1983

As a child who was brought up in this whole 2 wife drama because ‘men can have multiple wives’ in Islam I’d like to break it down for the OP.

Firstly; if my husband said he was remarrying, or was considering it then as a Muslim I also have rights too so Whoop I’d use them too. Why not get myself a shiny new husband if he can get a nice new wife?

Newsflash people: the majority of those taking on second wives are not marrying a widow, a prostitute, a poor woman, a divorcee (oh God forbid!) etc. They are marrying girls often younger or those they’ve taken a shining to. I

It’s not about being a good Muslim now is it? The majority do so because they can. Simples. Those brothers who say we can marry more than one woman it’s our right. Good on you brother. However when was the last time you fed the poor in your neighbourhood? When did you last give the Masjid a good clean? When was the last time you gave your widow Aunt a call to see if she was okay? What about your kids from the first marriage? Do you know how they are performing in School? Do you even know your first wifes shoe size?! See you can marry up to 4 times but if you are lacking as a good Muslim in the first place no amount of justifying can say ‘oh what a noble Muslim man he’s married again’.

No one in the right mind can even contemplate loving two people the same. When a man takes on another wife he has responsibilities to match both wives needs. Can a man of today do that? Erm well OP you seem new around here so let me give you a hint. Take a look at all the posts where husbands are struggling to meet the needs of 1 wife, a sister, a demanding Mother etc etc. Unrealistic? Much!

Some women (especially those raised in countries were it’s practiced) see nothing wrong with the husband marrying a younger bird, bringing her into the home and casting off the first wife as the older one who bore the family name blah blah blah. It happens; and I’ve read various reports in which certain Arab countries wish to limit or even stop foreign maids from gaining entry into their countries because their country divorce rate is becoming higher and higher especially in the older women. As the men have 4 wives and they find another new one guess which one is the first to go?

I personally don’t think this many good men do it; because they are aware of the struggles they face on a daily basis to meet the demands of being a good human in the 21st century so why would he want to complicate his life?

I’m aware of many men in my local community who have two wives-one lives with their parents and looks after their parents and the other one lives on Government benefits and is visited for ‘couple duties’ three times a week. Good Muslims? Good men? Hmph! There more likely to give Islam bad publicity.

If a man is quick to express his rights then I see no reason why I shouldn’t do the same. Allah gave me enough brain power to gain an education and I can happily work and provide for my child if need be.

As for men taking on a second wife because his sexual needs are not being met; how comes it’s acceptable socially and culturally for a man to give this reason but if a woman does (e.g. she leaves her husband and wants a divorce) on the same grounds she’s given colourful names? Double standards stink.

Now OP; are you attempting to justify the whole ‘men have rights let them use them’ because you are planning to be the OTHER wife?

The first response from a Muslim is because Allah said so. This is why men can have more than one wife at a time and women cannot. Second Allah does for a reason. I have already said the reasons why Muslim men can have more than one wife. The reason women cannot have more than one husband is that how would one know who the father of the child is? Yes, today we can tell with science but science cannot change the laws of Allah. Even in the most open countries if a girl is with multiple partners it is considers a bad thing and if a boy is then it is all good. Even in heaven women will only be with one husband. This is the way Allah wants it. Having more than one wife is in the Quran itself. This Quran can never be changed and is under the protection of billion of Muslims and memorized by even little girls and boys. It is also the sunnah of the greatest men to even walk this earth.

One can ask the question why heaven is under the feet of the mother and not father? Why raising two girls leads to heaven and not two boys? Why does a woman get to keep all the money she earns will the man has to spend on his family? Why do women get to wear gold and silk? Why do I have to die for my little girl before by little boy? Why does this little girl or boy automatically go to the mother in a divorce? There are somethings women have over men and some men over women. This is one of those things men have over women. It is true that most women are not OK with this but some are. If Allah says it is OK and everyone voluntarily agrees to it then who is anyone else?