Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
I once had a secretary that left school and started working but she had a higher IQ than most people that had been to university. Intelligence and education are two different things. Intelligence is a gift and education is something that has to be worked at. Being educated just says that someone has a trained mind, and I don't need to shift through a lot of people to find what I want...that's just me being lazy....although people with lower education maybe more intelligent however I would need to go through a greater number of them to find what I wanted.
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
No someone who is an undergraduate is not uneducated however nowadays there are so many educated people out there that the bar is raised.
I have a lot of respect for uneducated people as some of the most successful people in the business world have been uneducated and they have made an immense contribution to society. Sometimes an education can be a hindrance as opposed to an advantage.
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
But what's the point of educating and encouraging our daughters to pursue these degrees and careers when we deep down believe that the right place for them is at home with their children? Why encourage your daughters to become doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc?
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
Is someone with an undergraduate really considered "uneducated"?
Really depends where you live to be honest. Cuz where I'm living, an undergraduate is "normal" whereas a Master is considered higher education <-- basically what most people go for at uni ..
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
But what's the point of educating and encouraging our daughters to pursue these degrees and careers when we deep down believe that the right place for them is at home with their children? Why encourage your daughters to become doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc?
If I have, or rather when I have as I would really love a daughter or two, I think my responsibility would be to train her for life, be it a career or looking after a household or both. However what she chooses to do after marriage would be a matter for her and her future partner to decide. As I mentioned earlier education is not necessarily about having a career, it is about making you a well rounded individual and in turn making you a more supportive parent for your children, although it may not always be the case.
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
But then I also think of another situation. When a girl herself decides to be a stay-at-home mom to raise better kids or feels that her professional duties and work are cutting down on her efforts to be a good wife and mother..what would people's reaction be to that? Wouldn't they discourage that too?
'itna perhi thi..kya faida degrees ka jab choolha he sambhalna tha'
i would like to hear people's opinion on this perspective too :)
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
'itna perhi thi..kya faida degrees ka jab choolha he sambhalna tha'
parhee likhee one can search the web, logon to you tube , to get some tasty recipes and cook delicious food for her hubby. Jahil one will just follow her amma's recipe and cook the same tasteless food everyday
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
parhee likhee one can search the web, logon to you tube , to get some tasty recipes and cook delicious food for her hubby. Jahil one will just follow her amma's recipe and cook the same tasteless food everyday
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
very true lol :p
but say a successful doctor or an engineer quits her job or doesn't study further but becomes a SAHM - would she be getting the negative criticism. Would she no longer be able to get on with her colleagues and friends as they might start thinking she's such a bechari.
oh the dilemmas of our culture and our society. :p
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
^Well, that's the other extreme of the spectrum. I consider a high school graduate "pahee Likhee". Now I would feel sorry for a woman that holds a doctoral degree but can't make much use out of it.
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
I honestly don't understand men who particularly seek a wife who is a lawyer, doctor or engineer then expect her to stay home for the rest of her life. The amount of money and hard work that goes into getting these degrees is not menial. Usually girls have huge student loans to pay off and plus they actually like working in their chosen professional career. Honestly it's different for women with bachelors and masters. These degrees don't have such high tuition as compared to a professional degree and a lot of careers that require a Masters degree are very flexible and one can work from home. It's hard for a doctor, lawyer or engineer to work from home or free lance! So men who are very particular about their wives staying home really shouldn't be looking for a wife with a professional degree. It's just not fair to the woman unless the woman herself has agreed to this....but I wonder why any woman would agree to that if she has spent 4 years of undergrad plus 3-4 years of grad school to become a professional.
Also, people emphasizing higher education even when seeking a stay at home wife....I find it hard to believe that a woman with a law degree will be a better mother/provider than a women with 'just an undergrad'! Seriously, they don't teach domestic skills or child rearing in law school or anything remotely close to it!
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
I am sorry to be blunt here but in USA, the only time I saw a doctor wife from Pakistan being a SAHM is because she could not pass the US exams. I dont know of any example where hubby forced a wife to stay at home. This thread, like every other thread of life 1 is turning into a men bashing thread for no reason at all.
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
^ No one is bashing men here. But I have seen men in real life seeking a professional wife only to have her stay at home because that's their preference. Oh and I wasn't talking about wives who are educated from Pakistan...I know sooo many women who studied medicine in Pakistan and never bothered practising here and honestly they don't have to worry about the tuition costs or the amount of time spent because the cost of medical education is relatively very cheap and only requires 5 years as compared to 8 years here . I am talking about women who actually got an education from here and then are expected to stay home...that to me is absurd.
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
I am sorry to be blunt here but in USA, the only time I saw a doctor wife from Pakistan being a SAHM is because she could not pass the US exams. I dont know of any example where hubby forced a wife to stay at home. This thread, like every other thread of life 1 is turning into a men bashing thread for no reason at all.
agreed completely. I have rarely seen a guy not allowing his doctor wife to work. There are exceptions everywhere though. What I wanted to ask was if the woman decides and agrees to be a SAHM herself somewhere later when she herself feels incapable of coping with the professional stress and thinks her kids are suffering a little too, how would others take it as. Would the husband again be the 'cruel typical desi' guy and would the woman end up being a 'bechari'?
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
Education is not only required to secure a good job, but also every important to raise kids in good manner. When guys are looking for an educated girl to marry her, they are not looking for a financial partner but a human being who can add value by supporting and advising hubby when required. My wife is an educated SAHM, and we dont do anything major without consulting each other and its her educational background that makes give me a great advice every time a need is there.
So how is giving great advise useful for the person who has studied so hard? Not taking your example, just a general question .. what good is it for the spouse?
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
Daffy, it feels good when your spouse values your opinion and takes you as a partner in his life regardless of whether you have a job or not. If only having a job is criteria for gettin some respect then I'm not sure how deep your relationship is. However having an education does make you capable of handling life situations better I feel...but like someone said above, there are many successful people in the world who don't have fancy degrees. However, you do have to be exceptionally motivated and ambitious to be a school dropout and still become successful. Anyway, coming back to the original topic, none of the men in my social circle have stopped their wives from working. All stay home moms have chosen to take a break from their careers because they wanted to or it was the best option in their situations. If they do decide to go back to work, it will be well supported by their husbands. But yes, there are some men who prefer wives that never work and don't care much for their educational background either. They should be clear on that before getting married.
Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children
I guess part of the concern is that these days many of us put off "life experience" for the sake of degrees. And many women put off marriage and children for their degrees, especially graduate/professional degrees. If in the end these higher level degrees are going to waste and against the biological clock, why pursue/encourage them?