To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

Lifestyle Relationships
1

  1. What were your preferences for the education and work experience of the wife when seeking a rishta?

  2. What type/level of education would you prefer for your daughters?

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Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

Ok maybe I'm not the right person to reply here but since I have daughters, I'd like to educate them to a level where they can work, enjoy and learn from the struggles of a career, feel independent and productive, yet be flexible enough where if required, can manage a homelife without having to go to work with a happy heart...just like their mommy.

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Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

^ mostly what Nikki said... but also, Id like her to have enough education and be career wise as to not have to rely on anyone.

I work, to show her one can work and balance a homelife as well.. and id like her to be able to grow up and realise everythign is achievable. It does not matter whether you are male or female.. single or not... you can do anything you set your mind too

At the end of the day, it'll be her choice.. If she wants to work, she can work.. if she doesnt, she doesnt have to.

However, if she meets someone who imposes opinions on her to either work or not work and take that choice away from her, I'd not be happy.

Id teach her to be flexible but not lose the power of choice. Everyone is entitled to choice

4

Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

i will not work a single day after marriage IF it means, neglecting my children. However education can not be negotiated, you dont go to college just for a JOB, but an overall better quality life (better thinking skills, better social life, etc etc)

5

Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

I am currently working freelance so I stay at home. But there seems to be problem with people bringing rishtas for me since they can't see my real 'value' and 'worth' since no monthly salary info is available to them. I would have absoloutely no problem in being a house wife since I have already worked since a young age and I am kinda tired. But their mentality have pushed me to a limit that I want to take up a full time job just to make people aware of my true worth. People now only judge you for the salary you take and not your character, personality etc. People are jaahil enough to not understand if I had previously worked and am educated, I am able to work any time need arises.

People wanting to go for housewives should look for equally educated girls, even those who have been successful in their careers since such things don't make a girl unable to be a good housewife. I have seen doctors and engineers to leave their careers and be good wives and mothers. But its pathetic to not allow such girls to continue with their careers and guys who want their wives to stay at home should try to lookg for normal graduate girls and this thing should be discussed before marriage.

6

Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

I'm one of those ppl that needs to work because I would die living at home (i'm not super skilled with that stuff) but I'm willing to negotiate--to a point. But what really irks me is when aunties call and try to convince my family that my education is gonna take farrr too long so I should just marry their dr/laywer sons...someone actually had the audacity to be like "oh she'll change her mind probably when she marries my son who's really settled mA"...errrr okay lady, I'm not going to school just for the money. (yes, this is a rant)

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Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children


**1. that my wife knows how to live and let live in a her sasural...i would apply that on myself as well...i would be a husband who will consider her family as mine.

  • doesn't matter...enuf education so she could raise kids properly and adequately . i'll do my share of raising kids as well...

    • ...that's called a 'balanced family' according to my understanding :D**

    8

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

  • Highly educated

  • Highly educated

    • 9

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    People before seeking for a rishta have the criteria for the potential DIL to be a qualified professional doctor, engineer preferred etc. But what irritates me the most is that later they change their stance completely and at times do not allow or at least don't encourage their DILs to work. It MO this is plain bias. Someone who studied this hard to become a professional why stop her from working.

    If a family isn't willing to accept a working DIL why not look for a rishta of a girl who's a graduate or masters but with flexible options of working or not working. Somebody I know is a very nice girl and has done her Bachelors in Arts. She herself was not fond of studying much and is more into home making, designing etc. But for her rishta people actually after hearing that she's done Bachelors have problems with that too. It just doesn't make sense to me !

    10

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    Right, I wonder about this too. Not only are her skills going to waste, she has taken up a very competitive spot in a medical school that could've gone to someone who is actually going to practice. To me, that is unacceptable.

    11

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    Why does she need to be highly educated if she's going to be staying home with the children? Sure, you want a relatively thoughtful and intelligent person, but why does she need that high level of education just to stay home?

    12

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    But you can have those skills without really high level degrees and hundreds of thousands of dollars spent.

    13

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children


    So it's more for some perspective and experience and then as a back up plan?

    14

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    But then I also think of another situation. When a girl herself decides to be a stay-at-home mom to raise better kids or feels that her professional duties and work are cutting down on her efforts to be a good wife and mother..what would people's reaction be to that? Wouldn't they discourage that too?

    'itna perhi thi..kya faida degrees ka jab choolha he sambhalna tha'

    15

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    wife, brothers, sisters, daughters all sould seek the best education from the best universities no diff, no exception

    although for daughters/sisters there might need more thought required (but still)

    16

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    I don't have any plans to work after marriage but still i am getting higher education........ because it was my dream.

    But my degree will work if i need job in future due to bad financial situation.

    17

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    Well, they should be equipped with the ability to bring in an income for betterment of their lives if needed. That's up to my daughters and their husbands to decide. I have worked fulltime, partime, freelance, can go back to work as needed and I like that flexibility as well as the ability.

    18

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    Education is not only required to secure a good job, but also every important to raise kids in good manner. When guys are looking for an educated girl to marry her, they are not looking for a financial partner but a human being who can add value by supporting and advising hubby when required. My wife is an educated SAHM, and we dont do anything major without consulting each other and its her educational background that makes give me a great advice every time a need is there.

    19

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    Yes you want a relatively thoughtful and intelligent partner. I asked this question to a potential wife that was highly educated and intelligent young girl once, and she told me that education is not necessarily about going out and working after marriage but it is also important for the children to have a educated mother even if she does not work.

    20

    Re: To those who prefer that a wife/mother stay home with children

    ^ But isn't someone who's done an undergraduate degree thoughtful and/or intelligent as well and able to raise decent kids?