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With all these sass/bahu topics here, do you ever wonder how it would be handling all these affairs after marriage? balancing your relationship with yr parents/siblings and wife. Does the thought ever come across your mind.
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Does it worry you? I have heard of some people who don’t wanna marry just for this reason as they are quite close to their family and don’t want that to change.
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What are some ways you wish or hope to handle these situations with?
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Or Have you thought of ways you would hopefully be avoiding all this tension with?.
Re: To the unmarried males.
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nah rahnay daaay oye dhoti koi jawab na dou…shaam nu ghar bhee jana hai 
Re: To the unmarried males.
I know its for Unmarried but ^^ None of the Above
Aray its the women who create all these problem that you mention above ...and speaking outa experience .. if you have a sincere, faithful, loving wife.... and your brain is set to 'sane' ..none of the above occur ..
All the above you mention .... came to mind but never lost my sleep over it .. why cos .. now come to it once being married .. I ve not Personally had to deal with any of the above u mention.
Re: To the unmarried males.
1) With all these sass/bahu topics here, do you ever wonder how it would be handling all these affairs after marriage? balancing your relationship with yr parents/siblings and wife. Does the thought ever come across your mind.
*Yes it does....and not only here....i have seen these things a LOT first hand...so i have a fairly good idea of how bad things can get...and reason i visit these forums is to see from where the other side is coming from
*
2) Does it worry you? I have heard of some people who don't wanna marry just for this reason as they are quite close to their family and don't want that to change.
**Worry? hmm....Not much....i know its kind of inevitable....when you know something is going to happen regardless i wouldn't call that worrying...its just; you can say anxious....like wonder how bad it gonna get?..
.i also think that girls nowadays are all coming out of some chinese factory with pre-installed mindset..all think the same way (very few exceptions)...
and i don't see ANYTHING WORTHWHILE (BESIDES CHILDREN) in marriage...
**
3) What are some ways you wish or hope to handle these situations with?
There is no way to handle this........All one can do is to hope that i make good decision when things get messy.....my way is simple my parents are staying with me.....if she has a problem i will show her the door.....
4) OR Have you thought of ways to just avoid all this tension?
Yes.....
Re: To the unmarried males.
@ the underlined part.
:hinna: @ the italic part.
Hmmm.
Re: To the unmarried males.
why behoshing and hichki?
Re: To the unmarried males.
I know its about unmarried men but I'm very tempted to comment (I'm an unmarried women atleast). I don't exactly consider myself an all friendly, sweet or easy person however the usual sad ass saas bahu tales does make me little determined to develope a pacified mindset when it comes to the inlaws. There should be lot more to your married life than just being overly wary and opinionated about your inlaws. Hopefully I'll become more of a 'oh well... let it go type bahu' than oh no she didn't type of witch.
Re: To the unmarried males.
why behoshing and hichki?
Cuz its kinda sad if marriage is done only for kids :(. It shud be alot more than that.
Re: To the unmarried males.
Let’s wait for T1000 to come. 
Re: To the unmarried males.
Cuz its kinda sad if marriage is done only for kids :(. It shud be alot more than that.
yeah.....should be.......but seeing how women today think and behave....i don't see any hope of that..
unfortunately....visiting this forum further reinforced my perception of what majority of girls nowadays are thinking.....(besides the real life knowledge)
Re: To the unmarried males.
well .. I do freak out with this saas-bahu things .. .. but by the end i have to get married so i dun think that much about this freaking thingy ..
on the other hand, (this might sound impractical) but i believe that a guy is the main bridge between the saas-bahu .. if he knows and manage things properly then things could not be THAT worst. .. but again .. he "can" try .. it does not mean that he is the only one who "should" try.
Re: To the unmarried males.
why .. .. people are waiting for my answer .. :s ..
Re: To the unmarried males.
yeah.....should be.......but seeing how women today think and behave....i don't see any hope of that.. unfortunately....visiting this forum further reinforced my perception of what majority of girls nowadays are thinking.....(besides the real life knowledge)
And i agree with you unfortunately :(.
well .. I do freak out with this saas-bahu things .. .. but by the end i have to get married so i dun think that much about this freaking thingy ..
on the other hand, (this might sound impractical) but i believe that a guy is the main bridge between the saas-bahu .. if he knows and manage things properly then things could not be THAT worst. .. but again .. he "can" try .. it does not mean that he is the only one who "should" try.
you are rite. bt most guys fail bigtime. they cnt be in between have to be at either extreeme.
Re: To the unmarried males.
you are rite. bt most guys fail bigtime. they cnt be in between have to be at either extreeme.
Well, I have doubts .. either they "fail" or they don't even "try". they just choose one side .. and thats' it. I believe a guy is biggest jerk if he doesn't know how to take stand for. stand for anything .. .. whoever "right" is .. .. I am not being biased here.
But again, these are impractical "thoughts" .. I have not been into situation or something like that .. but i have seen people who are leading successful life just because of this reason.
once my uncle gave me an advice .. "never ever listen to any of that person (from your family or someone else) who says anything "wrong" about your wife and vice versa" .. .. those little things will seed the doubt in your heart and after 3-4 years that will become a tree and will add shadow over your relationship
Re: To the unmarried males.
my Amma ji would be styaing in Pakistan for most part except once a while visit for few days, my deary wife-to-be staying in one city (at least for time being) and moi living in a different city ... all 3 principal characters of a potentially problematic situation living far apart hence not even a fact chance of all that typical saas bahoo uttha pattak ... perablem salved.
Re: To the unmarried males.
And i agree with you unfortunately :(.
you are rite. bt most guys fail bigtime. they cnt be in between have to be at either extreeme.
guys fail....and have failed since the beginning of time......nothing a guy can do that can keep the bridge stable.......because opposite forces are pulling in opposite directions.......and nobody give a **** about him.....
its 'me, my rights,my husband,my time,my money,my kids'
and on the other side 'me,my son,my house,my grandkids,my khandaan,my izzat'..........
Re: To the unmarried males.
guys fail....and have failed since the beginning of time......nothing a guy can do that can keep the bridge stable.......because opposite forces are pulling in opposite directions.......and nobody give a **** about him.....
its 'me, my rights,my husband,my time,my money,my kids'
and on the other side 'me,my son,my house,my grandkids,my khandaan,my izzat'..........
No i think most of the time the guys are not trying hard or are too confused to give it their best shot. They have to be alert at it from the very begining. That's precisely i don't believe in having alot of communication before marriage (i.e engagement period). At that stage, they promise the world to the girl...a world which is free of the mil's wrath (more like rules n regulations/duties). So when the practical life starts (after marriage) its hell for the girl as all the dreams the guy showed her were far from what is happening with her. So in that case the guy has to be smart from the begining and not promise anything that he may not be able to deliever afterwards.
Re: To the unmarried males.
No i think most of the time the guys are not trying hard or are too confused to give it their best shot. They have to be alert at it from the very begining. That's precisely i don't believe in having alot of communication before marriage (i.e engagement period). At that stage, they promise the world to the girl...a world which is free of the mil's wrath (more like rules n regulations/duties). So when the practical life starts (after marriage) its hell for the girl as all the dreams the guy showed her were far from what is happening with her. So in that case the guy has to be smart from the begining and not promise anything that he may not be able to deliever afterwards.
this thing aply to love marraiges as well .. where when the couple is in relationship .. the guy promises hell of things .. and when the things become practical .. the complains start .. "you are not the same anymore" .. aah!
Re: To the unmarried males.
No i think most of the time the guys are not trying hard or are too confused to give it their best shot. They have to be alert at it from the very begining. That's precisely i don't believe in having alot of communication before marriage (i.e engagement period). At that stage, they promise the world to the girl...a world which is free of the mil's wrath (more like rules n regulations/duties). So when the practical life starts (after marriage) its hell for the girl as all the dreams the guy showed her were far from what is happening with her. So in that case the guy has to be smart from the begining and not promise anything that he may not be able to deliever afterwards.
you are right in the pre-marriage communication and stuff............but believe me guys do try a lot.....i have seen many of my own cousines and relatives in these situations...and observed closely.....
and do you honestly think that a guy can do it unless he is supported by the 'forces'??
Re: To the unmarried males.
1) With all these sass/bahu topics here, do you ever wonder how it would be handling all these affairs after marriage? balancing your relationship with yr parents/siblings and wife. Does the thought ever come across your mind.
2) Does it worry you? I have heard of some people who don't wanna marry just for this reason as they are quite close to their family and don't want that to change.
3) What are some ways you wish or hope to handle these situations with?
4) Or Have you thought of ways you would hopefully be avoiding all this tension with?.
I suppose when you're newly married and in love (like you're supposed to be), there will be a time where the only thing that will matter to you is your wife and her demands. You will definitely be spending less time with the family but if you're living together in a joint family, you still meet your siblings and parents everyday, have dinner together, etc. Also a lot depends on your mother, is she the picky, choosy type who will boss around my wife? No. As long as things stay cool between the two there are no issues to be had.
- It doesn't worry me as I don't think I would necessarily be spending less time with the family than I already do. The only people who may be deprived of my esteemed company would be my friends who I hang out with :)
- At home, nothing needs to change, everything will fall into place (hopefully). If the saas/bahu issues do arise, I guess the obvious solution is to live separately, my parents are also in favour of this as opposed to the joint family system. However, living in Pakistan this isn't always easy to do as you don't earn enough from professional jobs to live independently. Most of my married friends (who have married at 24 or younger) have continued living with their families for the same reason (i.e no rent, bills, food on the table to worry about).
- No, never given this any thought before. Guys don't usually think all this through before they've even decided to marry :P