To the Sons n Husbands!

PyariCgudia · May 10, 2010, 6:20pm

**Are you married??? Or are you just upset at your bhabhi?? **

A son/husband living separately with his wife away from his parents, does NOT mean that his parents have ‘lost’ him. How insecure can the parents be? I love my parents and my mom is my best friend but I am not going to apologize for the fact that I want to spend the first few years of my married life without his or my parents living with us. My fiance’s and my parents are independent, have their own lives and honestly they are not interested in living with us at all. They want us to live our own lives and be comfortable. That does not mean we love them any less or we will neglect them. God forbid if his or my parents are sick and need us, they of course we will whole heartedly take them in with us and take complete care of them. But as long as they are independent and have their own lives, why can’t we have our own as well?? And I am not ‘all about’ living separately from in-laws. My in-laws are very sweet and don’t interfere at all!! And I have no problem living with them because they are very decent people who respect all our decisions and don’t impose their views on us. It’s actually my fiance who needs his own ‘space’!! Does that mean my fiance doesn’t love his parents???

I honestly don’t understand why parents are so keen on staying with their son after he is married. My mother would not like to live with my brother and his wife since she has her own life and understands that every woman wants to run her house HER way. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

As for you saying that there is NO reason for a girl to demand separate accommodation, well it’s girls like you who take away rights from girls. Also, who gives you the right to decide that it’s the girl who has to live with the guy’s parents and not vice versa?? Why are you promoting cultural vices? The Quran has told us time and again to take care of our aging parents…nowhere does the Quran discriminate between a son and daughter.

Frankly speaking I hate this cultural system. A son cannot take care of his elderly parents the way a daughter can. Women are nurturers, they know how to take care of their loved ones. Aging parents don’t just need financial support. They need a lot of love, time and patience and a daughter is better equipped to provide them that. That doesn’t mean sons don’t love their parents. Of course they do but they are not able to nurture the way a daughter can. So I think aging parents should move in with the daughter as opposed to this century long Hindu practice of relying solely on the son.

Heh. Couldn’t have said it better myself.