Tip#1: Don’t give a man more than he gives you.
Love, and inspiring a man to fall in love with you forever, is all about you being able to *receive * love.
Most of us only know how to give. We give for lots of reasons - because we’re taught that’s the way to get to a man’s heart (it isn’t) because we see other women do it, and because deep down, it feels uncomfortable and scary to be vulnerable enough to really get love. “A man is actually turned off when he gets more from you than he gives.”
A man is actually turned off when he gets more from you than he gives. When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you.
Tip #2: Don’t give away exclusivity if he hasn’t yet committed.
We become totally, emotionally invested in a man when we’re exclusive with him because he has all our time and attention. There’s no way we can stop wondering about where the relationship is going. But the more we think about it and talk about it, the more we push a man away.
When you can think of it in these terms, it’s easier to keep your options open and keep your personal power in the relationship. Rather than talking about the relationship or threatening him with ultimatums, you can continue to keep your options open by dating other men. This way, you keep your class, your power, your boundaries, and he has to work to get you!
Tip#3: Don’t give him gifts, make him dinner or pay for dates.
Yes, this sounds unfair, and yet, who pays is often the difference in his mind between friends hanging out together and a “date.”
If a man complains about paying for everything, let him know you don’t care what you do, you feel great being with him, and you don’t want to pay. Walking, hanging out in bookstores, having a picnic in a park can all be fun, romantic ways to get close to a man.
(And forget about cooking dinner, or trying to make dating “reciprocal.” A bowl of popcorn and something to drink is fine.)
When you give a man gifts, give him all your attention and energy, and give MORE than you receive, you’re OVERFUNCTIONING.
Overfunctioning is doing more than your fair share and stepping up to rescue a man because you know you can do a better job. It’s arriving from your masculine energy. It feels aggressive and forward to a man. And it’s totally unattractive to him.
just trying to get some insight into the male brain, obviously these are generalizations but i’m sure there are similarities in how most men see things when it comes to women…:Dit was just something i read, nothing to take too seriously, i was just wondering how true some of this is
Who comes up with this stuff, how about we all grow up and stop reading crap generalizations about the other gender and focus on what our partner needs/wants as opposed to what some list tells us to do.
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to get him but also to not be treated like a doormat after giving him a lot lot more than he gives you, are you saying there aren’t men that would see things that way…the ones that turn out to be emotionally abusive, i’ve come across a man like that, it’s torturous especially if the first impression given is one of vulnerability(by the woman)