To tell or not to tell..

Lifestyle Relationships
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SO say you’ve had relationships in your past that didn’t work out for whatever reason. You’ve moved on and are now getting married.

1 DO you tell your future spouse about your past or not?

2 What if your past relationship was intimate?

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

:khumar:

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

Yes. Tell him. Start new relationship with clean slate.

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

Million dollar question , but unfortunately this topic has been beaten to death in these forums already , do a search and you will find POV of all the guppies and guppans. :khumar: :chai: ::papay:

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

^ Don’t kil my thread so early on! :pcg:

I’m sure we can get some fresh new perspectives here..

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

nops i won't ever disclose my previous relationship unless itz a broken engagement or nikkah...Otherwise NO...

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

You expect fresh new perspective on a million year old question ? :silly: You got to be kidding me. :woho:

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

1) If he asks OR if you KNOW that he is getting into a relationship with you based on the assumption that you were not in any relationship, you DO tell. If you don't and he gets pissed off (or worse) later, you will have no one to blame but yourself.

2) Same as one.

The right choice is tough to make but it is very clear. However, you should be ready to face the consequences whether you decide to disclose or not.

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

It depends how much broad minded he is. But i would rather tell him than hide my past from him. May be i will edit some details like how much i love that person etc but my life partner should know summary of my past. If I find him broadminded i would tell him every detail of my past.

I don't believe in intimate relationships before marriage so wouldn't have anything to share.

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

exactly!

because sometimes people think just because they came out with the truth, the other person has to accept it and be ok with it. i dnt think so! the other person may or may not like it bt that doesnt mean u hide it from them. if u want to hide it then ok do so but i think it wl haunt u all yr life lol.

i think i for one wud want to know bt nt the explicit detaills :hoonh: n yah i wud nt be ok with it so better not tell me, lols.

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

ur choice.

i wudnt

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

Yes, and his arse better be able to handle it :emmy:. No “main tum say ab shaadi nahi ker saktha” crap!

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

I will say dont share - one starting a new relationship with you , should be more interested in your present and the future you both going to make .... the rule is simple you know - you dont scratch the places when you don't feel an itch , as if you do - all you going to get are some unnecessary rashes ...

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

I don't know about other guys so this is just my personal opinion.

If I find out after the fact that my wife was involved in previous “affairs” that she didn’t tell me about, I will end the relationship (divorce) right there and then. No ifs or buts. Oh, and if I can find the guy, I’ll beat him up (just kidding!!)

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

..and in the age of facebook..believe me nothing will remain hidden for too long...

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

I had one relationship when i was 18-19 which lasted a year and a bit.

I would like to tell my future partner about that just because it taught me so much about myself and really gave me strength of character.

I hope i will be able to.

But i wouldnt tell him about random crushes or dates.

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

Depends on the person but majority of men likes innocent girls... You should not mentally disturb him by goin into details of intimacy or how much you loved him or was involved in him... Its enough to say that there was a guy who liked me and it didnt work out... CASE CLOSED.... Going into details is a wrong choice that can go against you in future..DONT DO IT!!!. If I was you then I wouldnt even make it sound like that he was important in my past, he was just another ordinary guy, not a big deal... You should think about UR POTENTIAL SPOUSE AND UR FUTURE WITH HIM RATHER THAN BRINGING UR PAST....

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Re: To tell or not to tell..


^ so essentially lie to the guy?

What integrity shown by the girls here at GS. Weren't you one of the girls jumping up and down in my thread for "shopping" during rishta. And here you are trying to hide your past flings

PS to the OP, any guy, worth his salt, will almost definately want more details, it's not like you mention to him during chai "oh just one dude i used to hang out with" case closed.

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

I said in an earlier post i would want to tell my future husband HOWEVER I wouldnt go into deep emotional detail about it.

I would say..i was with a guy for a year and half, i was young and naiive, it taught me alot and we went our seperate ways.

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Re: To tell or not to tell..

I dont have any past flings..... Anyways back to the topic, it is not considered lying as ur telling them the truth... Not going into un-necessary details is simply fine to leave the old behind and embrace the new...