To Tell or Not To Tell

Lifestyle Relationships
61

Re: To Tell or Not To Tell

facepalm

62

He might have just been testing you, probably wanted to see your reaction and see what you would do in such a situation..... maybe not, and he's lying now. Don't worry about it unless you see some proof.

63

i am little agreed... just wait and watch. then decied wht should u do.

64

Re: To Tell or Not To Tell

unless you have proof, stay mum.

he says he's joking- but he could just be pulling your leg to make it seem like your making things up if you do indeed say something. its a tough call, but i say unless you're 100% sure he's up to no good, don't say anything.

i know you mentioned you've been friends for the past 30 years and your families hang out, etc etc...i don't know if your married or engaged, but if so...have you told your wife/significant other? maybe she has some insight as to his relationship with the wife. as well all know desis gossip and ladies talk!

65

Re: To Tell or Not To Tell

Funguy,
You're gonna get in trouble if you open your mouth. I know you feel obligated to tell his wife but you're going to have to do more than just telling her that her husband is cheating behind her back, she'll ask you for all the details so becareful what you get yourself into and all the counceling sessions with this couple. Like I said before, she'll find out if he's actually doing all this stuff unless she's a dumb woman!

66

Re: To Tell or Not To Tell

No funguy,

Morally, you are obligated to mind your own business in order to avoid the consequences that might follow if you disclosed his secret to his wife. "Ignorance is a bliss". Right now, they are a happy family as you mentioned but upon breaking his secret, that would no more be the case. So, unless the husband is caught cheating by his wife herself, you are under no obligation to make a mess of this happy family. Especially since you said, he is not having a long term relationship with one partner with whom he is involved emotionally too. That would have been a completely different scenario. As that would have been bad for his marriage (The emotional drama of the new lover in his life). In this case, it seems that his one night stands are not causing any trouble to his marriage with his wife. So, you should mind your own business.

You need not disclose his sins to his wife because that would run the risk of breaking up this currently happy family. To avoid making it become difficult for you (To continue to hide his secrets), you might request him not to share his very personal secrets with you. Tell him that you feel bad for his wife knowing about his careless & lascivious behavior (his cheating). So, either he should stop doing that or stop sharing his stories with you.

67

Personally I don't think its your place to say anything. Yeah the guy told you this stuff considering you are his friend. he's an idiot, but his relationship is exactly that HIS relationship with his wife. What she doesn't know will not hurt her. Like the guy said its not a 'long term' affair.

The point im trying to make is, if his wife or any wife esp us desis found out our husband was cheating, can you imagine the chaos? the hearbreak? the children? the family? The way i perceive it is, maybe it is old fashioned but i dont think in our community its as simple as movies make it-oh hes having an affair-goodbye.

I don't think im explaining myself properly anyway basically if you were her brother then i would understand you having to tell her but if she was ever to catch her husband cheating, i don't think her husband will say oh soso already knew about it. You know what i mean? She will never know that you know. Yes you ahve to hide it but some things in my opinion are better not knowing.

I think if it was a long term affair that would be different.

68

Re: To Tell or Not To Tell

honestly i'd put myself in the shoes of his wife, would i want to to know if my husband is messing around with someone? Yes i would, and even though it would destroy my relationship with this couple, i'd tell his wife, because I'd want someone to tell me if my hubby was cheating on me...big time.

Kya Aapne ???
69

Re: To Tell or Not To Tell

Funguy - Your friend is missing something in his life if he has to make all this up. Even if he hasn't done the deed yet, he is probably contemplating it sitting alone in a hotel room at night. I would tell him to quit his job and find something where he doesn't have to travel.

~*~ TIME PASS~*~ MaY...........
70

Um... are you daft? Up to 75 of Americans have had an HPV infection in their lifetime. Do you know what HPV is? It's a class of viruses that cause cancer and genital warts.

And you think no one gets STDs anymore?

Btw, the person can look clean and still be shedding. Meaning, they are contagious. Rethink your position here. If your friends wife contracts HPV because of his messing around, she could require surgery or even develop cancer.

And yes, it is scary. Many women do not even know they have an infection until they develop dysplasia (with HPV a type of precancer), or full blown cancer.

71

Re: To Tell or Not To Tell

funguy u must try to talk to your friend to not to cheat on his wife that is the best u can do otherwise you would just mess up everything

~*~ TIME PASS~*~ MaY...........
72

wonderful and loving father would not cheat on their mother

but one your question funguy... i am sorry i have no idea if it is better for you to tell her or to keep quiet...

personally ...my personal choice in your shoes would be to tell ur friend that man I cant listen to this anymore...you're doing a huge disservice to your wife and I feel guilty not tell her so I'm sorry you can hate me but I have to tell her

that may give him a chance to tell her himself...if he has any decency that is