Re: To Tell or Not To Tell
Though it seems like the coward's way out, I do think an anonymous note or message will help everyone save face. If you talk to the wife, she will feel ashamed to continue in the relationship, and will know YOU know, even if she decides she wants to work through the marriage.
The friend will probably suspect it's you. In fact, so might the wife. He may well cut you off, and at least she can pretend not to know.
I'm not sure why people are criticizing others here for sharing their advice and opinions. It was requested. If you don't want to read it, don't click on the thread.
As for the question of moral obligation, well funguy didn't mention in it in his original post, and I don't really have an answer. But I know as the wife, I would prefer to know. Of course it would be a horrible discovery. But I'd rather discover if I'm building my life with an unfaithful loser, and have the option to change my life.
Ignorance is NOT bliss. It's just an illusion.