Some men are probably okay with the idea. Not every pregnant women's mom or sister can come to help her. And husband in some cases can't take off from work. Going to maika to deliever is the only option left. I would've loved my family to be close to me during my pregnancy, it really does make a difference. But yeah I personally wouldn't want my husband to miss out on the birth either. I really really really needed my mother for the birth of my baby despite of having a wonderful loving husband who did a lot.
Before I gave birth I honestly didn't think I would need my mother to be there...I felt I would want my husband more. I was lucky enough to have both my husband and mother with me during my labour and I can honestly say even though my husband was wonderful and did exactly what I needed him to do having my mother there was priceless. There were parts of my labour that were tough and being able to hug my mom for comfort really helped me through it. Even the days following the birth having the experience of my mom was really wonderful.
I was right,** you do have some pathetic complex issues**. Wanna give birth in UK because it'll look good, doesn't matter about the misery your husband will go through over missing the birth of his second child and more importantly being away from his older child for months. Its just a casual choice of one partner isn't it, there aren't any circumstances that's resulting in a mutual 'sacrifice'.
You Ma'am are a very shallow person!
This is rude Jolie. Its a personal decision, she has asked for a suggestion. Either give it or ignore the thread. Stop being judgmental!
@nadz.....take her long. Leaving her behind will just make you more worried and you wont be able to give complete attention to the newborn. You will have ur family to take care of ur kid, so IA it wont be that tough!
Do what is right for you. Giving birth is a truma in itself and the last thing you want to do is be somewhere you are not comfortable.
If you do wish to consider giving birth in Pakistan, ask around and visit a few hospitals (I have a feeling they have the capacity in terms of generators to use in there is a power cut!). If you work out the cost (even though you have the money) of your tickets to the UK I'm sure you could find a hospital that is superb in quality for roughly the same price if not less? I know what you mean about some private places though-gave me the creeps.
Ignore those who are harping on about worthless crap, quite frankly it's up to you where you give birth and the reason you started the thread was your concern for your little girl and how it's being suggested you leave her abroad with her dad/grandparent for a few months. Personally I couldn't do it, it's hard enough worrying about a pregnancy but worrying about your little one who is away from you too? Nope, too much to deal with!
ok so we kinda decided im going to the uk for delivery , il go in nov, come back in march-ish...and i want to take my 7month old daughter whol be over a year old then with me...but my husband is saying i shudnt take her as il alreayd be 7 months preg, on a plane, how will i handle her and il be hving another baby soon so il need all my energy for that plus he said he cant live without her for that long....
neither can i. and i aruged the typcial im her mum point, he said well im her dad..
i complelty understand his feelings, but im HER MUMMMM i cant leave her alone, how can i win this arugment guys? i do feel for him, and grandparents, but i want her with me :
I suspect that you are insisting on having the delivery in UK, while your husband wants it to be in Pak. If thats the case i think you he is right in demanding you leave the girl wth him. If thats not the case then you are right, girl should go with you.
You'll have to get a medical certificate to show the airline you are fit to travel at 7 months and it might be quite uncomfortable for you during the flight.
I wonder if you would be singing this is my home, this is where I'm born dramebazzi if NHS wasn't free? *Seriously you have so much restatement for Pakistan, makes me wonder why did you even bothered marrying an 'inferior' Pakistani and agreed to live in that *hole of a country with animals Miss God save the Queen? You were better off marrying a C class gora like yourself (a British born desi in other words) And how is Pakistan so hot in January? How many private hospitals have you visited or you just can't bothered to even give it a thought? You obviously have some serious brown sahib complex and then moan why your inlaws don't see in same light. I can tell this much by just reading your thoughts, imagine about the perception of people who live with you.
Yes it is shallow, how long you think your marriage will remain successful if you kept going on with tough I did this now you do that rules? The fact you have no remorse about keeping your child away from your husband who is practically like a mother towards her, for five months? Seems like you are just punishing him for marrying you and bringing to Pakistan. But I guess its a good thing for him, some men just need a small single opportunity, a test, to live without their family and it toughens them up for rest of the life. They no longer remain all coochi coo chipkoo husband and fathers. He may very well figure out himself and no longer dance on your tunes and bardasht all your nakhrey once he learns the art of independence and become little involved in his profession. Or maybe it'll be nice for him spend some quality time with his parents after marriage, may learn to appreciate his parents more. I saw all that happened with my father.
**
PS: If Britain is your home, I'd like to know what have you done for this country? We're having some tough time, come here, work and pay taxes, return back the student loan instead of popping out another baby at and sucking the state benefits from taxpayers, so you can go back and repeat the process again. **
By the way, I'm pretty sure if you leave your daughter to go have your second baby in your parents home, people will talk smack about the fact that you are abandoning your daughter.
I'm not sure I even believe that this is something your family is seriously considering. You've told us your MIL works, SIL will be married soon, and your hubby is looking for work if he hasn't started yet. Leaving your baby there is not something any of you is seriously considering.
I can't wait to see the threads over the next couple of months
'travelling 5 months pregnant with a 1 year old shall I pack a nappy?'
'baby concieved in pak, giving birth in uk, what is the process'
blah blah blah
Vomit
jolie and her supporters- ur a tragic lot. if i was a pakistani living in canada and wanted to go back home for birth, you would all be supporting it, however its not ok the other way round. i have only b een in pak for 3months, uk is my home, and for your information, WE thats me and my husband both paid taxes when we worked, my husband was working right until the last day we left, we pay taxes and our way. and to be honest, nhs free or not, is a disgrace. i want to be HOME, where my mum and family are, its notin to do with the nhs.
if the recession is bothering your employment prospects jolie, im sure you would find work somehwere, clearing out gutters would be one, however you would need to practice by first clearing out your mouth.
There's more drama here than there is on the streets of walford in Eastenders!!! (for all you non UK citizens that is a British soap).
I think you should do what is best for you and your child. Private healthcare in Pakistan is really good and is not something to belittle. You would probably get better care in a private hospital in Pakistan then you would in your local NHS hospital in the UK. I think you are just feeling homesick and this is the perfect reasoning for you to go home for a couple of months. If your husband doesn't mind missing the birth of the second child (would he go to the hospital with you?) then it might be worth considering going back to the UK and having your mum or a sister as a birthing partner. It really depends on your individual circumstances and is not something that users on this forum can really guide you on as we don't know the entirety of your situation.
And to Jolie, I think you make some very valid points, in particular the issue of taxes and free healthcare. I'm sure that many would be bugged to hear that people chose to live abroad for whatever reasons but still come back to use up resources because it's 'free' and they somehow feel that they have a right to it because they paid their taxes so many many years ago. Believe it or not, taxes that you pay in to the system get used up by the system at that time, they don't go in to a waiting pot for when you fancy using them up for something of your choice. And that's not a dig at anyone who chooses to do that, it's just the way it's viewed by everyone who pays taxes. Sadly some terminally ill patients can't even get the medication they so desperately need because the NHS is running dry...yet there are ex-pats who return to use up resources without paying taxes because they have a 'right' to do so.
Seriously guys...so much drama here..Jolie..if you dont care about what Nads is asking then y r u commenting? Nads is confused and is asking people for help..theres no need for all your sarcasm seriously...Im not having a go at you..but reading all the posts...your posts arent making you look so good!
Nads-good u made ur decision...i wudnt leave my child behind either..
if its matter of 2 or 3 days thn its ok 2 leave ur baby but for months its impossible bc at the end of the day babies need their mums more than dads n moreover ur parents n family vl be there wth u in UK they can help u wth both babies n ask ur huby 2 join u there