Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
Hey Nadz,
Go to the UK, meet your friends and family, go shopping for all your new baby stuff like clothes, bottles etc...take your 1 year old with you...just so that you don;t always have to worry about her and dont need to keep phoning pakistan to see how she is...
Have your baby in the UK...spend a couple of months there and then go back....don't worry about hubby he's a big boy and will be okay.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
I was right, you do have some pathetic complex issues. Wanna give birth in UK because it'll look good, doesn't matter about the misery your husband will go through over missing the birth of his second child and more importantly being away from his older child for months. Its just a casual choice of one partner isn't it, there aren't any circumstances that's resulting in a mutual 'sacrifice'.
You Ma'am are a very shallow person!
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
lol, my baby can get citizenship through descent, its not that hard. why are people forgetting where im from, im from the uk, and i made a plan before coming to pak that my kids would be born there, since i was born there, i want them to have my nationality, and oddly enough* wanT TO BE comfortble where i give birth* and im only comfrtble back home not here...and i think i have the right to feel this way seeing as im giving birth not him...
secondly, my husband looks after my 7month old alot, he puts her to slp, hes very very caring and not a typcial man.....so i think he feels it too, hes also saying im being ott, cos i shud be concentrating on my new child how will i look after both of them, he was with me last time and it was hard for me, but i told him first time round is always hard.....he also says when his sis gets married, the house will be empty, and his parents will be really lonely, and theyl want their granduaghter around..i found this reason annoying....so i should keep my lil girl here for 5 months just for their sake? im her mum.
anyway he said if u wana take her i cant stop u, but i know hel be sad about it. dunno how to let him feel that its the right thing to do to take her with me...
HAHAH. ROFL
...And in UK we always have to keep telling people that 'I'm from Pakistan'! Sad isn't it?
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
Btw, Nadz what are the chances that your child's first words will be 'God save the Queen (and NHS)'? Are you working on it? Its very important you know...the child musn't forget about its roots...
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
how is it shallow, i did not want to come live in pakistan, it was a compromise for me, now he has to compromise that i want my kids born there....i was born there, its my home, whats wrong with that? its not a complex at all, its where im from. and if we were living there, we woudlnt have an issue with where our child would be born, my husband decided that intially we would live in pak for 4 years, i detested this idea, but hey, its something i did, for him, now we had pre planned that any future kids would also be born there. its where im comfortble. here, its hotttt, no bijli, and the hospitals even private im not too keen on...if my husband wants to be there for the 2nd birth hes welcome too, we have money, thats not an issue. issue is that he wants his eldest with him, which is absurd. kids stay with their mothers esp at such a young age. his parents are already feeding her bananas on a constipated stomach, giving her ice cream and thinking its cute when she eats it, wholl have the problems when shes older, me or them? i have always asked the parents of the children first before i give them anything to eat...and heres dadda daddi shoving ice cream down here and thinking its a nice thing to do. if i leave her for 5 months, god help me.
anyway shes coming with me. made my mind up...
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
I wonder if you would be singing this is my home, this is where I'm born dramebazzi if NHS wasn't free? Seriously you have so much restatement for Pakistan, makes me wonder why did you even bothered marrying an 'inferior' Pakistani and agreed to live in that ****hole of a country with animals Miss God save the Queen? You were better off marrying a C class gora like yourself (a British born desi in other words) And how is Pakistan so hot in January? How many private hospitals have you visited or you just can't bothered to even give it a thought? You obviously have some serious brown sahib complex and then moan why your inlaws don't see in same light. I can tell this much by just reading your thoughts, imagine about the perception of people who live with you.
Yes it is shallow, how long you think your marriage will remain successful if you kept going on with tough I did this now you do that rules? The fact you have no remorse about keeping your child away from your husband who is practically like a mother towards her, for five months? Seems like you are just punishing him for marrying you and bringing to Pakistan. But I guess its a good thing for him, some men just need a small single opportunity, a test, to live without their family and it toughens them up for rest of the life. They no longer remain all coochi coo chipkoo husband and fathers. He may very well figure out himself and no longer dance on your tunes and bardasht all your nakhrey once he learns the art of independence and become little involved in his profession. Or maybe it'll be nice for him spend some quality time with his parents after marriage, may learn to appreciate his parents more. I saw all that happened with my father.
PS: If Britain is your home, I'd like to know what have you done for this country? We're having some tough time, come here, work and pay taxes, return back the student loan instead of popping out another baby at and sucking the state benefits from taxpayers, so you can go back and repeat the process again.
Gosh Pakistani people, yes I'm talking about you!
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
Nadz, if money is not an issue, ask your hubby to come with you.
To be honest tho, the best idea is for you to stay in Pak and have the baby there. While you are living in Pak make your life as simple as possible. Ask if a sister or your mom can come visit you, if you want your immediate family around.
inshAllah you'll be back in the UK in a few years. Why not make the most of your time with hubby in Pak?
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
^ she wants to have birth location UK on the birth certificate, isn't it obvious.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
Nadz have the baby in the UK and take your daughter with you. No, you are not shallow. Hopefully you shall be able to go back to the UK in a few years.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
HAHAH. ROFL
...And in UK we always have to keep telling people that 'I'm from Pakistan'! Sad isn't it?
Btw, Nadz what are the chances that your child's first words will be 'God save the Queen (and NHS)'? Are you working on it? Its very important you know...the child musn't forget about its roots...
I am not sure why you are making a big issue out of it. There are plenty of Pakistanis who don't have foreign citizenship would go to UK,USA,Canada so their children could get that nationality. It has nothing to do with forgetting our roots.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
I am not sure why you are making a big issue out of it. There are plenty of Pakistanis who don't have foreign citizenship would go to UK,USA,Canada so their children could get that nationality. It has nothing to do with forgetting our roots.
I was being sarcastic.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
^Sure you were. I hope you are living in Pakistan (that too in Peshawar), if not, you're full of it.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
I wonder if you would be singing this is my home, this is where I'm born dramebazzi if NHS wasn't free? Seriously you have so much restatement for Pakistan, makes me wonder why did you even bothered marrying an 'inferior' Pakistani and agreed to live in that ****hole of a country with animals Miss God save the Queen? You were better off marrying a C class gora like yourself (a British born desi in other words) And how is Pakistan so hot in January? How many private hospitals have you visited or you just can't bothered to even give it a thought? You obviously have some serious brown sahib complex and then moan why your inlaws don't see in same light. I can tell this much by just reading your thoughts, imagine about the perception of people who live with you.
Yes it is shallow, how long you think your marriage will remain successful if you kept going on with tough I did this now you do that rules? The fact you have no remorse about keeping your child away from your husband who is practically like a mother towards her, for five months? Seems like you are just punishing him for marrying you and bringing to Pakistan. But I guess its a good thing for him, some men just need a small single opportunity, a test, to live without their family and it toughens them up for rest of the life. They no longer remain all coochi coo chipkoo husband and fathers. He may very well figure out himself and no longer dance on your tunes and bardasht all your nakhrey once he learns the art of independence and become little involved in his profession. Or maybe it'll be nice for him spend some quality time with his parents after marriage, may learn to appreciate his parents more. I saw all that happened with my father.
PS: If Britain is your home, I'd like to know what have you done for this country? We're having some tough time, come here, work and pay taxes, return back the student loan instead of popping out another baby at and sucking the state benefits from taxpayers, so you can go back and repeat the process again.
Gosh Pakistani people, yes I'm talking about you!
Take your resentment out on someone else.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
^Sure you were. I hope you are living in Pakistan (that too in Peshawar), if not, you're full of it.
Am I supposed to feel terrible about it?
What if I say I actually don't mind and have lived there (Lahore/Islamabad)?
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
Take your resentment out on someone else.
Sure. When I find someone as worthy as the subject in this thread.
Can't bloody stand the underclass British desi community who acts like as if there were some royalty in UK and somehow they're more human than 180 million people of Pakistan.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
Sure. When I find someone as worthy as the subject in this thread.
Can't bloody stand the underclass British desi community who acts like as if there were some royalty in UK and somehow they're more human than 180 million people of Pakistan.
Someone like Jemima Khan probably didn't ****mack Pakistan as much this wannabe. If you hate Pakistan so much why did she even bother marrying a Pakistani who had no future in UK?
I know the kind of people you are talking about, but you cant really say nadz is one of those youve never met her.
And everyone is different with a different story and difficulties and they dont deserve resentment and bullying just because you dont like a group of other people from the same background.
You are saying that why does she hate pakistanis and pakistan so much, well why do you hate this certain group of people you talk of.
I mean go and punch the person/people you dont like :)
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
I know the kind of people you are talking about, but you cant really say nadz is one of those youve never met her.
And everyone is different with a different story and difficulties and they dont deserve resentment and bullying just because you dont like a group of other people from the same background.
You are saying that why does she hate pakistanis and pakistan so much, well why do you hate this certain group of people you talk of.
*I mean go and punch the person/people you dont like *:)
I'm not a violent person nor you should be promoting violence here.
I don't have to meet her, and as a wise man said, never underestimate the power of writing. I've read enough personal stuff from her to figure a thing or two about her. My comments are well contextualized for whatever information is known.
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
I seriously did consider this as an option, that is, going back to Pakistan for the rest of the pregnancy and give birth there..only draw back would have been that my husband couldn't have been around for the birth and beginning days...
which begs the question, when all these young moms go to Pakistan for months at a time, or go back to their maikay to give birth, don't they miss the presence of the father? Doesn't the father miss his kid?!
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
and oddly enough **wanT TO BE comfortble where i give birth **and im only comfrtble back home not here...and i think i have the right to feel this way seeing as im giving birth not him...
The most important thing.. Congrats on your pregnancy Nadz, hope it all goes well :)
Re: TO TAKE daughter with me or not?
I seriously did consider this as an option, that is, going back to Pakistan for the rest of the pregnancy and give birth there..only draw back would have been that my husband couldn't have been around for the birth and beginning days...
which begs the question, when all these young moms go to Pakistan for months at a time, or go back to their maikay to give birth, don't they miss the presence of the father? Doesn't the father miss his kid?!
Some men are probably okay with the idea. Not every pregnant women's mom or sister can come to help her. And husband in some cases can't take off from work. Going to maika to deliever is the only option left. I would've loved my family to be close to me during my pregnancy, it really does make a difference. But yeah I personally wouldn't want my husband to miss out on the birth either. I really really really needed my mother for the birth of my baby despite of having a wonderful loving husband who did a lot.