To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@hareem01

it doesn’t say anywhere that woman must obey every wish of her husband. it tells women to be obedient by protecting their husbands’ money and by being faithful to them.

Go figure.

obey every wish of the husband as per islamic rules. For example, the husband cannot order the wife to NOT pray since that would be againist the religion.

You are just trying the downplay the obviious “in-charge” piece for obvious reasons.

[blessed2006]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@HotTea

well allah gave men special rights because they have greater responsibility. With greater comes responsibility for the man, comes the ability to become an incharge or a custodian for his woman.

sure a man is there to protect his woman. but by marrying they dont become each others parents/guardians thus shouldnot expect “you should obey whatever i have said”.

agar koi baat akkar se kaho ge tou koi nahi manne ga lekin agar wohi baat pyar aur araam se kaho ge tou yakeenan banda maan jaye ga.

i am saying this for both husband and wife.

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@Reha

You know every man who thinks like you is single…not a single one married. Its because women usually dont take that kind of BS and if they do the men end up paying a price for it. Ive seen men who got married and said the same things only to now amend how wrong they were in trying to force themselves on their wives.

You are not God. You did not give birth to your wife. You are a husband…a companion whose reality is just a mere piece of paper. You should realize exactly how precarious your situation is and do your best to maintain a level of respect with your wife.

Men have RESPONSIBILITIES…not even half as many RIGHTS as a woman does if you really start to look carefully.

You can whine all you want. I’m just putting the wife in her rightful place as per Islam. I have quoted from God (Allah).

[ll_xx_ll]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@Reha

If I start quoting what a man is supposed to do from the Qur’an for his wife…you’d go broke.

So take care HotTea where you step.

i think we should do that… do u think that would be ALLOWED by the menfolk?

[Sehrysh]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@HotTea

Right you take good care of it but you also expect obedience as well from a subordinate.

And there folks are them fighting words! Your interpretation has a woman subordinated to men on a hierarchical totem pole. By not considering women equal to men, you’ve made this into a men versus women battle.

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@blessed2006

sure a man is there to protect his woman. but by marrying they dont become each others parents/guardians thus shouldnot expect “you should obey whatever i have said”.

agar koi baat akkar se kaho ge tou koi nahi manne ga lekin agar wohi baat pyar aur araam se kaho ge tou yakeenan banda maan jaye ga.

i am saying this for both husband and wife.

The ayat is very categorical in saying that men are incharge of women. Note it didnt say men and women are both incharge of each other.

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@Sehrysh

And there folks are them fighting words! Your interpretation has a woman subordinated to men on a hierarchical totem pole. By not considering women equal to men, you’ve made this into a men versus women battle.

Well if a husband is an “incharge” of his wife as per Allah. Then by definition of the word incharge, woman is subordinate to the man. I can’t believe you cannot grasp this simple concept.

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@llxxll

i think we should do that… do u think that would be ALLOWED by the menfolk?

yeh go ahead, what are you waiting for?

[hareem01]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

you are stressing too much on the word “in-charge” which is probably not even the accurate translation of word “quwwamoon”… talk about the zeal.

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

then please accurately translate the word for me. Ofcourse I’m stressing on each word. Is from the Quran afterall.

[blessed2006]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@HotTea

The ayat is very categorical in saying that men are incharge of women. Note it didnt say men and women are both incharge of each other.

I am by no means trying to say the ayat is wrong or is interpreted wrongly. The point i am trying to make is that when man overuse this right of theirs then it shouldnot be expected from the woman to obey him.

Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) had 4 wives and all the 4 ladies were good and decent who used to obey Prophet (pbuh)? Why? because prophet (pbuh) was a good husband. even when he knew that “my wife is suppose to obey me” he never used to make them obey them i.e. saying “whatever i have said is right you should just obey me with out any questions”. His acts were good thats why it automatically used to make his wives obey him.

[Cinnamonroll]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

Hot Tea, why don’t you grow yourself a beard (as a replacement of a pair of something else that you’re obviously lacking) and start murdering women in certain regions of the world along with men who think like you.

it’s because of people like you that islam is associated with torture and terrorism.

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@Cinnamonroll

Hot Tea, why don’t you grow yourself a beard (as a replacement of a pair of something else that you’re obviously lacking) and start murdering women in certain regions of the world along with men who think like you.

it’s because of people like you that islam is associated with torture and terrorism.

haha talk abt hyperbole. First of, take your mind out of the gutter. Maybe if you take “pair of something” out of your mouth when typing you’d come across as less trashy.

I just quoted the Quran and you bring up terrorism. Are you equating quran with terrorism? watching too much fox news have you?

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@blessed2006

I am by no means trying to say the ayat is wrong or is interpreted wrongly. The point i am trying to make is that when man overuse this right of theirs then it shouldnot be expected from the woman to obey him.

Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) had 4 wives and all the 4 ladies were good and decent who used to obey Prophet (pbuh)? Why? because prophet (pbuh) was a good husband. even when he knew that “my wife is suppose to obey me” he never used to make them obey him i.e. saying “whatever i have said is right you should just obey me with out any questions”. His acts were good thats why it automatically used to make his wives obey him.

I agree with you. Man should fullfil his responsiblities as laid out in quran and as per PBUH’s example. In return, as you said, that should make the woman obey the husband.

[hareem01]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@HotTea

then please accurately translate the word for me. Ofcourse I’m stressing on each word. Is from the Quran afterall.

Maintainers.

[Sehrysh]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@HotTea

Well if a husband is an “incharge” of his wife as per Allah. Then by definition of the word incharge, woman is subordinate to the man. I can’t believe you cannot grasp this simple concept.

Since I’ve never doubted my skills of comprehesion, it ain’t me buddy.

And here are some other translations/tafseers that do not use the word in-charge:

*34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. *(translation by Abdullah Yousuf Ali)

34. Men are (meant to be righteous and kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband)(translation by Dr. Ahmad Shafaat)

^ Note, this translation does not use the word obey or obedient for a woman’s conduct. Rather, she is to be devoted to and guard.

34. Men are the** maintainers** of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded. (translation from Momin.org)

You can and will believe what you want, but just know there are other perspectives out there on what is meant by the Quranic verse.

[Cinnamonroll]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@HotTea

haha talk abt hyperbole. First of, take your mind out of the gutter. Maybe if you take “pair of something” out of your mouth when typing you’d come across as less trashy.

I just quoted the Quran and you bring up terrorism. Are you equating quran with terrorism? watching too much fox news have you?

i said it’s because of people like you that the true muslims are seen as terrorists. you’re only confirming that you have a problem with reading buddy

[Xtron]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

I am firm believer of earning respect in eyes of Parents, Siblings and Wife. The mintue some of my fellow men make this word “in-charge” sounds as they are commanding them to do, then he starts to loose all his respect. Quran also describes Husband and Wife’s relations as garment to each other. You don’t “abuse” your garment. Secondly, wife is a human. She has aspirations, hope and dreams of her own. She perhaps does so much more compromise than we might probably think as long as she is fair and honest in her actions. When we say in charge, it simply means to take care of her but NOT commanding her. And lastly, treat her with respect and honor she deserves. And yes, problems or conflicting issues arise. Take this as opportunity to get to know your wife more and be prepared to compromise. Love is give and take and fine balance.

[HotTea]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@Sehrysh

Since I’ve never doubted my skills of comprehesion, it ain’t me buddy.

And here are some other translations/tafseers that do not use the word in-charge:

*34. Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. *(translation by Abdullah Yousus Ali)

34. Men are (meant to be righteous and kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband)(translation by Dr. Ahmad Shafaat)

^ Note, this translation does not use the word obey or obedient for a woman’s conduct. Rather, she is to be devoted to and guard.

34. Men are the** maintainers** of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded. (translation from Momin.org)

You can and will believe what you want, but just know there are other perspectives out there on what is meant by the Quranic verse.

In the translations that you pasted:

“the good women are therefore obedient,”

"Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient"

“(In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted” (devoted/obediant are close enough)

[hareem01]

Re: To set the record straight: the wife must obey her husband

@HotTea

In the translations that you pasted:

“the good women are therefore obedient,”

"Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient"

“(In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted” (devoted/obediant are close enough)

obedient/devoted to** God**.