its a hypothetical situation: your SIL (nand) is beaten by his husband next door, and your husband dont wana involve in their matter.
so how many of you will force your husband to do something?
or stand up yourself to help her?
and would u consider that If you or your husband helping her out ends up in divorce, how far you gonna help her?
ps. i do acknowledge that in Pakistan and also even abroad girls often dont get to study beyond grade 12/FSc. and under any such circumstances all the responsilbities comes down to their brothers or any other male guardian (chacha, mammo etc).
my hubby has one sister, and she's adored by all of us. if anything like your scenario mentioned was to happen to her, my husband would want to kill the guy.
we would definitely intervene and try and try to make a happy solution for all come about.
i'd definitely tell him to help his sister! if her husband is beating her, then there's no reason for her to stay with him and stay married to him anyway! so i'd go as far as possible to help her.. even if it means divorce.
I highly doubt any brother would stand aside while someone else abuses his sister. And ofcourse it only makes sense to help him support his sister in this difficult time.
It's just inhuman to sit back and watch brother/sister/nand or whoever. My husband would kill any guy who did this to his sister, and my bro wud kill my husband if he ever treated me like taht. Why doesn't the husband want to intervene to begin with??
If he's adamant on not caring, then u shud just call 911!!!! Don't sit back and watch.. it's just wrong.
Confused minds leads to obstruction and later remorse. This is why it is greatly encouraged to discuss problems. may be some suggestion becomes your solution.
truth is bitter, and facing that fact that life is really not a “fairy tale” helps you walk every turn of your life smoothly, rather than being slipped and making others suffer.
Been in a similar situation. I knew before my husband did, informed him right away and supported his protection of my SIL. It is absolutely important for people to stand up and take charge at times like these.
Even if I was enemies with my nand, I would not be able to stand it if I knew she was being beaten by her husband. NO ONE deserves that no matter how evil they are.
I would ask my husband to step in because he is a man and also her brother...those two factors alone could influence the situation much more then my interference. However, if it came down to it...I would not hesitate to step in. If my involvement causes her to possibly get a divorce, so be it. She will be much better off without the bruises and busted lip.
No woman deserves to be beaten by her husband...I do not care how horrible she is.
He's not standing up for her?? WOW!!
I think you should talk to your nand what she wants.....Maybe she doens't want to divorce..or even take a step in to another direction...
You don't have to force your husband!
As a human being you could say it to your husband (after talking to your nand)..
But you don't have to take a step....it's your nand who has to take a step....
Why should you ruin your live...You're trying to help her...But there is also a risk that she will say to you (after for example divorce):tumne meri zindagi garaab ki hia...I have seen that...really!!
So it's her life.....She is the one who has to take the step...You can help her....but not stand up for her....
Sorry if my advise sound selfish....but this is my opinion...
I understand that she has to take a step but very often the state of mind of an abused woman is not capable of taking a step.
These women dont understand a life without their spouses...even the beatings.
Years ago, I got into an argument with the teacher at a Dars in my local mosque. She was narrating a story of her neighbor's. Her neighbor's wife was beaten by her husband every night without fail. In the morning, when these ladies met outside their homes the wife would have bruises all over her neck and face. The teacher asked her why she was putting up with such disgusting behavior...wife responds by saying : "maarta hai to kya huwa, kamaskam mere paas mera shohar to hai na...mein shaadi shuda hoon...ye baat mein fakhar ke saat kehsakti hoon...sar utha ke chalsakti hoon". Years went by, her children grew up, saw how horribly their mother was treated by their father and now give her everything she wants.
The teacher was reinforcing this behavior...saying divorce is so horrible...a woman should put up with abuse to make it work. Look how Allah swt rewarded this woman for not walking away from her marriage when it was almost taking the life out of her. I dont agree with that in the slightest and never will and argued with her to make sure no girl sitting in that mosque thought she had to be beaten by her man in order to get rewarded by Allah swt. Divorce may not be likable...but it IS LEGAL.
More often then not, abused women dont realize their lives are more then just shohar ki khidmat and bachon ko palna. Sometimes a person from the outside has to walk into their lives and shake them up...to tell them its okay to leave.
