to have found and lost :(

Lifestyle Relationships
1

This was something God wanted to happen and I totally destroyed it for myself through my absurd behavior…

There was this guy who really really liked me, we had a very formal relationship. I can’t write much about it over here because if he somehow stumbles upon it over the internet and reads it, it would be the most embarrassing thing for me…

He was extremely brilliant and very intelligent. He had absolutely the same interests and sense of humor as mine and there were soo many coincidences that shocked me (but I can’t share them here for the sake of anonymity)..the thing is I lost him..

It is more because of the way I was brought up, I never had any male friends and was always very defensive and stern towards male acquaintances. Also I own a very stupid mind that totally believed in fairy tales and I thought if I keep acting this way and give him all that attitude he will propose to me himself because im so pretty and intelligent :blush: , but that didn’t happen :frowning: … it all just ended right in the middle without an ending.

We haven’t seen each other for a few months now because its not required anymore (which was in the previous formal setting) and have not had any contact. My parents are gonna get me married to a nice guy by the end of this year. And I don’t know what to feel.

The guy who likes me (who I was talking about) probably thinks that I am engaged or not interested by the way I reacted. I wish he would propose before I get engaged but I don’t know how to convey the whole story to him.

Obviously I can’t say hey I know you love me, I do too so please propose!.. I have his number and can contact him any time I want but I wanna tell him and at the same time not be too straightforward about it. I don’t know what to do :bummer:

Also his financial status is a lot higher than ours but my family is equally educated, my cousins are all as filthy rich as he is but we are not. So I thought maybe he didn’t propose cuz he found out I wasn’t as rich as he was. But my friend says that’s just stupid. By all we know about him, he isn’t that kind of a guy.

Allah opens up doors for us but going through them and taking initiatives is our job. In my case He kept throwing the ball in my court every day and I kept ducking like an idiotic looser, never catching it once. :frowning:

ps. if I do marry someone else I might feel guilty that I liked someone else before marrying him…I have put myself in such a mess..I don’t love him cuz I don’t know what love is but I know we would have made one perfectly awesome couple!

2

Re: to have found and lost :frowning:

:eek: is all i can say and i had to post a reply :hinna:

Best of luck for your future :k:

3

Re: to have found and lost :(

I really don't understand why people show attitude or take the next person for granted who tries to be the nicest person in their life .. :| .. and i wonder why people proud of the "beauty" which will last for few years .. .. aah!

anyway, i got your point and you have to fix it somehow .. .. 2 things that you can do. Ask your friend to talk to him randomly .. acting as if she does not know that you guys are not seeing each other anymore and ask her to put "your likeness" about him in a way as if she mistakenly spoke about it .. .. .. she has to be tricky and excellent in words

secondly, just call him yourself to know how he is doing, random chit chat (don't make it obvious) and then after 2-3 days, call him again saying as if you are being bored just wanted to talk to you .. See his reaction if he feels okay, then you can put your words in some better way or show some actions which can show him that you like him as well ..

P.S:
Dude, if you are reading this thread then see this pretty lady likes you .. :d .. ..

4

Give it to me, I’ll tell him for you. Seriously..don’t hesitate..you don’t want to spend your life thinking “what if”, just tell him.

5

Yeahh...but do it only if u are sure that he loved you and he was not flirting...just to avoid any embarrassment laters :)

6

First things first.
:omg:

:omg:

BTW, dont sweat over it too much, if the guy is as brilliant as you think, he would know what you made of.
And your acting stupid would not have make much difference to him.

So if he is over you he is over you!!

7

Re: to have found and lost :(

well here is the thing about guys. They'll say it to you if they really like you or love you. Not sure why this guy didn't say it to you. There are times when they feel they'll get rejected so they don't say anything but in this case it looks like you guys are good friends and sharing feelings would've not been an issue. Also once he found out you are engaged how did he react? He didn't say anything to you??

Are you sure 100% he likes you?? What if you say something to him and he says oh I never liked you.

8

for how long have u known him?
if u really think he was serious about you or you are serious about him, you could make contact with him again. There is no need to say IT... and see how it goes and ask him (in 1st convo or 2nd ) if he wants to get a drink or something together? even if it doesnt work u dont have to be embarrassed...

once i did something like this. i was not in love with the guy and was not sure about him either.. i just knew he could be a good match.. hadnt spoken or seen him in a year and then ran into him, so i asked him (1st i was too nervous i n thought my friend should ask but thne i thought that wud b too teen like behaviour :P but i guess a friend could do it aswell) and he said sure...

i dont think he will be honost to ur friend after these months :)

PS i dont think she's engaged yet.

9

Re: to have found and lost :(

I think you are being too dramatic.

you don't have to call him to say .... **"hey I know you love me, I do too so please propose!." .....* *how about you pick up the phone and try create a less formal relationship for starters, be a nicer person.

stop reading fairytales ... forever.

10

Re: to have found and lost :(

You should call him. If you don't, it is something that you will likely regret for a very long time. At the least, this could even cause some strange fellings for you if you get married to the other guy. This will also not be fair on him (the other guy). I suggest you take the honest approach, call him, and tell him you're sorry for the way you behaved and about your pre-conceived notions. You have to take your pride out of it and let him know how you truly felt. IF he rejects you, then at least you know you tried, and can make a clean start from there, but maybe you can get your dream ending after all...

11

:omg:

ha ha

all you chicks are talking fairytales.

12

Re: to have found and lost :(

If he would have been genuinely & sincerely interested in marriage, he would have proposed (despite your aloof behavior)...... he didn't.... so........ get over him.

13

Re: to have found and lost :(

hmmm i dont agree with that, y would he propose if they dont even have a relation......

14

:D

Because she is pretty and intelligent.

15

If he had feelings for her, he would have proposed.... seriously, thats how guys' brain works.... they don't wait for a relationship to materialize, they propose if they like a girl. Ask the 'decent' guys on GS, they will probably confirm it.

16

Lets go find them :D

17

Re: to have found and lost :(

^still dont agree with you and monk stop it!
not even the decent guys do that if the girl is giving attitude, y on eath would he.

18

Yes, because it's every guy's dream to propose to someone who shows them attitude and indifference.

19

Re: to have found and lost :(

haha........

20

lol .. lol .. yeah .. so true .. :D