I would like to get your opinion about a situation.I had a crush on a girl when i was a teen.then we moved our ways, now after 20 years when she is married with kids and i am married with kids, we meet in a family function and things changed. all of my teen memories and heart wanted me to jump start at least a friendly Friendship but the mind says No WAY.She is also keeping distance from me, Please Advice me cos I feel like a tea pot which is in boiling water up to its neck yet whistling
This is just a rekindling infatuation and nostalgia getting mixed up together. Snap yourself out if it altogether. Try not to think about her and you'd be ok !
It's natural to get nostalgic and crave for things that we did/liked in the past but not all of these can have a healthy impact on current circumstances esp when you are married and with kids too.
Even if you were to keep it in your pants at all times..........I still believe you should avoid forming a friendship with her. You DO NOT have strictly platonic feelings for her....you are attracted to this woman.....and therefore it can NEVER be a frienship (no matter how much you try to convince yourself and others). And these feelings can become stronger if you were to interact with her.....and that's not fair to your wife and kids. This is not just about you and your childhood crush....it's about so many other people's lives that will be affected. Seems that the woman understands this better than you and that's why she's avoiding you. You know you wouldn't feel comfortable if you were wife were to do the same. Reflect over whether there's something lacking in your marriage and make it stronger.
^ Your comments show that you see the risk but you don't care and are willingly stepping into a field of landmines because of how this girl/lady makes you feel.
You've made this all about you and the desire to reconnect and get the gratification of a renewed acquaintance/friendship/romance - that's pretty selfish on your part to disregard how everyone else may be impacted by a friendship that only serves your desire to relive a part of your youth.
^ Your comments show that you see the risk but you don't care and are willingly stepping into a field of landmines because of how this girl/lady makes you feel.
You've made this all about you and the desire to reconnect and get the gratification of a renewed acquaintance/friendship/romance - that's pretty selfish on your part to disregard how everyone else may be impacted by a friendship that only serves your desire to relive a part of your youth.
Why take offense? If it's harmless friendship of a guy with this woman, why does it bother you?
Unless in your eyes, you see that there's something wrong with a man unrelated to this woman having or instigating a friendship with her causing...
Unfortunately life isn't about what we want and is about what others see or perceive. We need to protect our own and other's reputations. I think you see that and good luck with your situation. Leave her in your past as a sweet memory you can turn to from time to time rather than making her part of your present - the reality may not be as sweet...
“Tell the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts, and must not expose their adornment, except that which appears thereof, and must wrap their bosoms with their shawls, and must not expose their adornment, except to their husbands or their fathers or the fathers of their husbands, or to their sons or the sons of their husbands, or to their brothers or the sons of their brothers or the sons of their sisters, or to their women, or to those owned by their right hands, or male attendants having no (sexual) urge, or to the children who are not yet conscious of the shames of women. And let them not stamp their feet in a way that the adornment they conceal is known. And repent to Allah O believers, all of you, so that you may achieve success”. (24:30-31)
I would like to get your opinion about a situation.I had a crush on a girl when i was a teen.then we moved our ways, now after 20 years when she is married with kids and i am married with kids, we meet in a family function and things changed. all of my teen memories and heart wanted me to jump start at least a friendly Friendship** but the mind says No WAY**.She is also keeping distance from me, Please Advice me cos I feel like a tea pot which is in boiling water up to its neck yet whistling
Seems you already know the answer.
The potential hurt caused is not worth it. Listen to your mind and put her out of it.
