To all the men who want a "pure" virgin wife

[Nisha25]

Re: To all the men who want a “pure” virgin wife

@Reha

Diwana.

I disagree completely with this flawed mentality. My opinion is that you are not looking at the bigger picture and its hard because men really truly do want to believe that the world has not changed. But it has. It really has.

All the independent, educated and career oriented women I know that are single…are no more miserable than the men I know in similar situations. They dont cry, whine, complain or beat themselves up about it anymore than men do.

I will give you my own example…not stories I hear from other people or random strangers I barely know. Myself. I am divorced. No man pays my bills. I am educated. I work. I have a tight circle of friends and I have a warm, caring family that I am surrounded by Alhumdulillah. Sure, it was sad going through my separation but am I miserable? No freaking way. Inshallah, if Allah has written marriage in my qismat…so be it. If not, I have other plans that are realistic and attainable. With our without a man, they will come to fruition. Its not the end of the world diwana for girls like me if we dont get married. We support ourselves and do everything we want…EVERYTHING. The world has indeed changed. I do NOT regret being single. I love my life and everything Allah swt has blessed me with. I cannot ask for more.

There are girls like me who are business owners and professionals that are doing things they want every single day. Do they miss having a partner? Sure. But no more than any man does. No one I know is dying or depressed over being single. If anything, they enjoy themselves and the freedom it has to offer. If it happens, it happens. If it doesnt, life goes on and women now have their careers as their back up plans. These women still go on vacations, smile, live and do the things that make them happy.

The things you’re talking about are from an era long gone…from my grandmother’s time. When a woman couldnt work, go to school (although my grandmothers still did) and needed a man to do things for her. She doesnt anymore.

I know this wont make sense to you right now…but it will at some point. Maybe when you have a daughter of your own. You will make sure she has what it takes to be her own woman with or without a man like my parents did. At that point, you will understand exactly how much the world has changed.

And you will be grateful.

you’re awesome and so strong in my eyes. totally love what you’ve written