If I remember correctly, you got married recently. I will, therefore, consider this as part of Discovery Process. This is the phase when both of you are trying to understand what makes the other tick. You will like certain things, and you will not like certain things. Do remember that same is also true for your wife. She is also trying to figure out your nature and your attitudes. Some of the behavior you can try and influence a change, and for some you will just have to adjust your own expectations. Your wife is not your mirror image. So the way you react to things may be different than hers. Just understand that and cut her some slack for being homesick and presumably away from her folks and all familiar things.
Its very important to keep your eye open for small things and keep your temper in check. Talk these smaller issues with your spouse and then both of you should attempt to adjust your attitudes and expectations. Don't let smaller issues keep burning to end up being big problems. If there is ever a time to pamper your wife silly, this is it. After kids, both of your lives will become very busy and very different.
Thanks Faisal, yea i know we are in discovery process. there is nothing in her that put me off other than her being sad about other things or something said by some one else in 1990. not me, at time i am being supportive and try to console her about this and explain life and people in the world are not perfect so take things lightly. she understand this but i guess she cant help when the actual thing happen or she recalls anything didnt like in the past said or happened.
I guess you married to a princes and she want you to treat her like one.
I think you should talk to her. Ask her what actually bothers her and how her behavior affects you.
If she cares about you more than other stuff she will understand and try to change.
Shah, you are history dude. Looks like you married a doctornee. These Pakistani female doctors think they are too special. I bet she got away with a lot of housework using 'medical school' as an excuse. Well, I think you got what you wanted. Now suffer.
And while you are at it, go clean the toilets because she ain't touching your $hit.
hmmm.. that is strange.. my sis is a doc from pak, she got married 6 months before her residency started and she cooks, cleans, does the laundry, and works....
you should tell her that she should not expect people bringing her stuff from pak, she should be really greatful to your friend who bought all this stuff....
What is wrong with wanting to read? How does it equate to not having a social life. Some of the things people say on gs are just er interesting.
Since she just came from Pakistan, of course she is going to be moody and depressed. And she doesnt even have her own friends yet, give the poor woman a break for crying out loud!!
Shak--- Faisal and Afia Bajee wrote very sensible posts. Anyway bottom line, you're married, compromise and work with these problems. They're very minor compared to all the big issues of life. InshAllah I am sure things will work out for you and your wife.
10% of her luggage doesn't come and she goes all moody? LOL. Spoilt brat or what. Girls in pakistan have no dose of reality and the hard life whatsoever. They sit around and do jack all, thinking about the latest suits al day.
Welcome to the capitalist world my dear, its all about working hard and not lazing around on your rear.
Be patient with her. Slowly, I mean slowly, give her more and more duties to take care of. That is, household duties and later, the shopping while you're at work. Carrying all those bags alone from Tescos will give her a good sense of realism. That way she will become more responsible and acknowledge life isn't so easy as it seems. You don't wanna throw everything on her shoulders at once, it would be a major culture shock and make it more difficult adjusting, especially she doesn't have many family/friends here.
I look forward to more of your posts in the coming months. Gonna be great fun :p
well today when i came home, she may have thought when i was away, she was fine and looked happy. i think it may require time slowly she will be ok i guess. now she is reading while i am typing this post. :) thanks for all your posts, very informative. she will gradually know every thing.
From what I can tell, both of you are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I've read your posts before, you sound like a decent, shareef insaan who got trapped for good looks. I think you are already doing more than you should...it's her turn to reciprocate..I can't even imagine living with a teen aurtaiN, teen KahaniN, akhbar-e-jahaN kinda woman :-D
I hope what I have said is all wrong...nagging, mood off, nakhray all come with a woman..it's part of the package..deal with it. :-)
