Eh, thats' kind of the point. If an individual doesn't want to look early then of course it's their right to do so. But it should be with the knowledge (especially for girls) that rightly or wrongly, it "may" cause some difficulty later.
Early: is early, don't feel need to define it other than for debate.
Agree with your last para/poin; but that doesn't say/imply don't start looking early.
Sometimes though it doesn't come down to the individual but parents making the first move.
I'm not sure of what should be done when it comes to finding the one. Just making sure the families getting along, but also hoping you get along well and connect with the person?
Great question and I am not sure I am qualified to answer...but I really think it should be more than 'hoping' you get along and connect with the person... families should allow some time for the potential couple to find the connection [or not]...
Sometimes though it doesn't come down to the individual but parents making the first move.
I'm not sure of what should be done when it comes to finding the one. Just making sure the families getting along, but also hoping you get along well and connect with the person?
Great question and I am not sure I am qualified to answer...but I really think it should be more than 'hoping' you get along and connect with the person... families should allow some time for the potential couple to find the connection [or not]...
I agree, and there is are sometimes differences in thinking though between generations.
Paheli: i think you missed the point. The flaw is in the thinking that it is ok for 70 year olds to live on thier own; regardless of how able or independant they are; regardless if they have jobs or not. This is not about a specific example; but the messed up system in which this is seen as ok..
It all seems to comes down to 'i me and myself.' culture.
Salaams friends,
I am new to Paklinks forum I hope you are all well...
I have been reading many things on forum feels like a nice family on here. I was wondering about marriage, being a 24 year old woman and if there will be anyone for me? I mean this for arranged or finding someone myself. When having people come over there haven't been the right people, either very different families or something has been up with the guy. After a while parents get frustrated too and it's upsetting when it seems like you are being picky but you know you are not when it's a very important decision.
Could anyone possibly offer some advice or anything to give me hope or feel better?
Thank you very much x
Time does not stop running out on chances of getting married when you turn 24.
It is better to marry the right person rather than to let yourself be pressurised by time or lack of it.
I think you are thinking right to get marry :)… find right person for you and do it…!
i am 22 and i am also thinking about my marriage … i am hoping it in a year if i found the right girl for me…!
@ambiaamb..... u r not over age trust me. even i got married at age more than urs. yeah i understand paki parents' behavior and depression when their daughters are not getting good rishtaz. but u will get it when the time is right. dn think too much about shadi and all , coz after marriage when u will look back , u will come to know that I JUST WASTED MY TIME ON THINKING ABOUT IT , I COULD HAVE DONE ANY GOOD PRACTICAL WORK INSTEAD LIKE STUDY, JOB ETC. yeah i am saying it rightly.
it may be unrelated to topic. but i just want to say that i have been reading many posts on GS regarding GIRLS NOT GETTING MARRIED AT RIGHT AGE AND SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION RESULTANTLY.
girls i know its difficult NOW A DAYS to find a good rishta at right age. and it is much difficult to see ur friends or cousins of ur age getting married and pregnant. i want to add EVEN IT IS MUCH MUCH DIFFICULT TO SEE UR PARENTS DEPRESSED OVER IT. but try to have ur faith on ALLAH. HE definitely has better plans for all of us. marriage , somehow, is not the game of getting married at right age. but it is much more about getting a nice life partner, and nicer in laws also.
Lots of good advice on this thread. These people are definitely right, it's ridiculous to set a marriage deadline for yourself. It has to feel right for you and your partner, the rest of the world doesn't matter and trust me they won't be the ones living with you everyday and raising your children.
i think the main problem is that guys/girls are too picky about every little thing in Rishta's. They both want the perfect partner who got no flaws and is just what they have thought/dreamt about.
Has to look like actors/actresses, must have this, must not have this, etc......and this is what worries the parents, because they know they can't force/pressure the kid because of "western society rules".
And there is too much emphasis these days on the "pehlay photo bhijwa dein uske baad dekhaingay, wo bachi/bacha pehlay photo dekhna chahtay hain". This is what kills it here in the west. They all claim to be religious, shareef, etc but forget it all when its their own. Get them a photo so they can visualize their hero/heroine by photo.
This is why we still see almost everyone flocking to Pakistan for marriage, after being disappointed locally. Blame lies equally with both boys and girls.
Being muslims and pakistanis, it doesn't matter where u live. Specially for girls. Our community thinks every girl over 27 is old/rejected material.......same thing for any guy over 30 (despite the current modern/social norms)
… i am hoping it in a year if i found the right girl for me…!