What do you do when your child starts throwing a tantrum…in public/at someone’s house?
Re: Throwing a tantrum
step 1: fight the urge to throw my own tantrum at the sight of my screaming child.
step 2: try to distract child; if that doesn't work, then
step 3: move child to another location, calm her down, distract, etc
Re: Throwing a tantrum
how do you find people's reaction around you?
I've witnessed that people can be either really annoyed/irritated or they can give suggestions....or (the best case I think?) ignore it. though I think wiht the ones who give suggestions, it might feel a little overwhelming to have suggestions thrwon at you at once from many many people, seemingly at once.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
Most of my friends don't have kids and aren't around kids regularly, so I am concerned that they are horrified at the sight of a spoilt brat. They seem concerned/disturbed/amused, depending on who they are, but generally they are observers of the scene, not actors in it.
Family members (our parents, aunts/uncles, cousins with kids) will give suggestions, OR (especially with our parents) they will take her, distract her, calm her down, etc.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
We havent had to put up with any major public tantrums with our son so far, but for the little ones he throws, we have found that removing him from the scene helps. Take a little walk......engage him/her in some alternate activity. Staying around makes it a bit embarrassing.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
My son is too young (3.5 months) for tantrums but he does sometimes have crying fits when he's tired. Just last night we went to an engagement party and even though I made sure that he was well fed and rested he sort of lost it ( I think he's just not used to so man people coming up to him and holding / kissing him). We tried to calm him down at the party and when that didn't work my husband took him outside for a little walk.
I do find that it annoys me to no end when people give advice on how to calm him down....especially at this age.....last night people kept insisting that he was hungry and that I should feed him, this one particular aunty pissed me off....even when I told her he wasn't hungry she went on to say that he was, she could tell by his cry and that she has four kids and knows what a hungry baby sounds like blah blah ...urgh ... okat so I feel a little better now.
To Sahar point I thing If the child was older and someone else in the family could distract him/her It would be really helpful.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
I let her have her tantrum till she calms down on her own, (takes about 3-4 mins for a full blown session) then I pick her up and take her into another room, by now I know most tantrums are related to missed meal times when we are on the go, so I make sure I pack enough snacks I.e. Fruit/biscuits to get thru an outing.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
That drove me crazy! Whenever she was crying the answer was to give her a bottle. Even when we were in the car and she was upset about being in the carseat, just stick a bottle in her mouth! Doesn’t matter that she will vomit everything up and scream some more. 
Re: Throwing a tantrum
agree with Sahar on the steps shown......though I have never had to deal with my own child having a tantrum Ah.....so I don't really know what it is like.
the most skilled people that I have seen deal with children that are just not happy at the time are Pink'd and her hubby........considering they have two little ones so close together, hats off to them for the way they deal with those rare occasions.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
Yeah, I'm scared cuz i've never had to deal with the real deal, just a sudden outburst of crying/crankiness/anger due to being overtired/overstimulated.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
what about tantrums during an important event? Lets say a nikkah ceremoney, Jummah khutbah, Congregational Prayer, etc.
I was at Jummah last week, and there was this kid wailing behind me in his mother's lap during the khutbah. The mother kept on saying "chup ho jao" and shaking the kid.
Honestly, it was annoying me since it was hard to concentrate on the khutbah. I didnt say anything or turn around, but I just wished she would take her kid and go out, but she didn't, and he wailed for pretty much half of the khutbah.
If it was a relative, I would have told them to step outside, but I didnt know this woman.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
^ I would take the child outside. Actually it would be hubby, who is more of a calming influence on her (Bunny and I are a little too similar sometimes :@: ).
Re: Throwing a tantrum
I let her have her tantrum till she calms down on her own, (takes about 3-4 mins for a full blown session) then I pick her up and take her into another room, by now I know most tantrums are related to missed meal times when we are on the go, so I make sure I pack enough snacks I.e. Fruit/biscuits to get thru an outing.And yes people do make remarks some positive and negative but at that moment it's not really helping the parent or the child, I was at h&m a few weeks ago in line to check out and my daughter wanted to get put of her stroller, and I couldn't since I had clothes in my hand to pay for, so then course she started at full volume and within a minute a woman behind me roared out the biggest 'oh my God' I have ever heard, I completely ignored her and kept telling my child that I will attend to her once mommy is done paying, you will have to wait for mommy to be done ok! I quickly distratced her with a pair of bangles I had just paid for and it worked....phew
Re: Throwing a tantrum
And yes people do make remarks some positive and negative but at that moment it's not really helping the parent or the child, I was at h&m a few weeks ago in line to check out and my daughter wanted to get put of her stroller, and I couldn't since I had clothes in my hand to pay for, so then course she started at full volume and within a minute a woman behind me roared out the biggest 'oh my God' I have ever heard, I completely ignored her and kept telling my child that I will attend to her once mommy is done paying, you will have to wait for mommy to be done ok! I quickly distratced her with a pair of bangles I had just paid for and it worked....phew
Re: Throwing a tantrum
lol pink'd..Ipad issues?
Re: Throwing a tantrum
there were two kids two rows ahead of my family at jummah last week that just wailed through the khutba and namaz.
the mother tried and tried but there was nothing she could do to appease them.
it was hot and the space was cramped......I felt sorry for her......but recognized that there was nowhere for her to go. it was nice that she came to the namaz and she was making some efforts to quieten them.....
I really could not hear most of the khutba because of their wailing but Ah, I have a tendency to "zone out" into my namaz so I hear nothing outside of the recitation anyway.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
i think the masjid i go to is a little different. most women with children sit in the back rows so its easy for them to leave when needed. this woman was sitting at the last row and access to leave was easy.
I believe even in salah, you are allowed to hold your child and calm them. correct?
Re: Throwing a tantrum
Thanks muzna for the clean up and you having witnessed those weak moments makes me cringe once again....inshallah hoping to turn them into a well mannered lady like Noor :)I havent been to an eid namaz or any namaz for the past three 2 years, dreading same will happen to me :(....is there a way around? Should I give the easier baby to hubby and keep the more tantrum throwing toddler with me during namaz? Or am I plain dreaming :(
Re: Throwing a tantrum
come to the masjid i go and give me the easier baby =)
some mothers I see bring toys/snacks for the children during namaz time. The siblings that are separated, usually one sibling would scour out and look for the other one and make their way through the safs to find them. LOL its so cute.
we had this one baby in the first saf of the ladies row who was just learing to walk and he was going across the safs...sometimes faling along the way and getting himself back up...it was adorable. all the ladies were going goo goo ga ga over him.
Re: Throwing a tantrum
nah pink'd....don't cringe.....it just goes to show how well you and hubby have adapted to a lifestyle that 95% of other couples couldn't even dream of. be proud. (btw come to think of it.....the episode that I witnessed really wasn't a tantrum.....it was just a little child feeling that she didn't have mommy's or daddy's attention as much as she wanted.)
eid namaz you can do......there is ample room in the venue so you can sit in the very back and still be miles away from the last row of people praying. jummah namaz might be a bit difficult.
I would prefer to keep the kids with me because namaz in a mosque is not mandatory for me, as a woman but is preferred for him. So let him, at least get the most reward that he can rather than neither of us getting it. Ultimately I believe that by looking after my kids I am doing my own ibadat anyway. Allah knows best.