Sara wife should know the husband better then any one else. If person has not been abusive for years and he is not likely to abuse any one. Yet he is being harsh on wife, then off course there is some thing, some one need to look at.
Now if wife is incapable of handling this she should get help from family or from councilor.
BUT not with the attitude to teach him lesson, but with an open heart. Wife might have to listen "its your XYZ actions ,which btw are not reasonable, are triggering it"
I mean support group is important but wife should not let them dictate her course of action. Its her own life. No one knows her hubby better,
Not true. Men who abuse physically and emotionally tend to be mr. wonderful to everyone else. They are the ones you least suspect are doing wrong things at home.