that we call homesickness..how long does it take to dissappear. I’ve been back two weeks and i’m counting down the months for my next trip back home.
I do want to shoot myself for not realising how huge a wrench leaving everything behind is. I could be so thick and not realise it…ugh. Todays dads birthdays and though most years i never even remember and should i remember it warrants no more than a reminder ke dad you are a year older…today suddenly it seems important to be home near him. Though i’m pretty sure that had i been back home it would have been any other day ( dads not one for bdays n the like ). Yuck…
A lot of you must have moved around a lot and then missed your family n friends ..how long did it take for you to settle in your surroundings.
DD, All I can say is, that its understandable you miss you family: you spent 20 some years with them, afterall. But at the same time, you should also pay attention to your current family because thats going to be the most immediate part of your life for the next few decades So, get involved with your new family and just hang in there.
About my own personal experiences, I didnt move away from family becuz I got married or anything but it was sooo hard. I hated the whole time I was away. I would call home every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. Sometimes even more. My sister helped me go through it a lot too. She made sure she talked to me all the time and kept me “in the loop”. Now I am back with family Alhamdulillah after about 4, 5 years and I love it although I do miss not having so much privacy anymore, but its well worth it.
Here is a hug for you. I can realise how frustrated you might be!
She rings everyday without fail and sounds more depressed than me lol.
I must admit it gets better with the days but it can be one thing and you might be back to square one again. Anyway, you survived it so i’m sure i will.
indeed it is very painful phase and gets worse when you come to know that today ur family was invited in party or are hosting one at home and u go out and eat sabzi daal on a road side dhaba for one reason or the other.
but then again, like me i am home for a month now and wanna leave the next second but NOC is not being issued by MOM.
…life is the name on game and love is the spirit behind it
I find it comforting that other people who have moved around find it as difficult as i. Some days i often wondered whether i was just going crazy and whether i was the only one who felt this way. Then i thought about all these aunts and uncles who initially left their country to start anew in a land totally strange to them, where everything was alien..and i had a newfound sense of respect and appreciation for their toils.
X Comm, thanks babes. I too feel fine somedays and think hey i can actually live here quite nicely. Others im like...someone buy me a ticket home, reverse the clocks...lemme wake up from this bad dream.
ophiolites, hehehe. I feel that too. Ring back home and hear laughter and merry voices..and i can almost picture myself in the room with everyone around me and then it dawns on me that i'm no longer able to be a part of that and then i curl up on my bed and try to drown myself in the duvet.
Hey DD welcome back.
I can't tell u how it is to live some where else coz
when i got married i came back where i lived and after
a year my hubby come's. I think that home sickness will
be gone some day.
DD hey
chanda Inshallah u’ll get the hang of it. Is never easy to say good bye to ur home n family n friends sweety but Inshallah u will get the hang of it.. i used to cry leavin my parents or when they were leavin me.. the first yr.. n they jus live 4 hours away.. it is always sad saying goodbye, watchin their car drive away cuz a part of my hearts wonders why cant i jsut go wuth them.. but im becoming used to it.. believe me the big cry baby that i am.. if i can do it.. n if it can become easier for me,.. TRUST me love, it will get easier. I guess u also miss ur family more cuz in a joint family system u see ur husband an inlaws being together as a family.. n even thou u r a part of it.. sumthin is still missing n u ache for ur own.. (atleast i do).. but inshallah it will get better n as ur ties get stronger with ur inlaws n as u begin to blend in with all of them.. it will definitly get easier promise!!
[QUOTE] Originally posted by *Disco~Duck: *
that we call homesickness..how long does it take to dissappear.
[/QUOTE]
To answer your original question... you will remain homesick as long as you want or care. And you can snap out of it right this minute, if that is what you intend to do. Its all in the mind.
Homesickness is a natural instinct and nothing to be ashamed of or worried about. But to remain in a constant state of depression due to homesickness is a mental problem and should be fixed. Its not good for your physical health and it is not good for your mental health.
I seriously suggest you find tasks to occupy your mind and make an effort to get into life in your new location. If everything else fails, have kids.
Devi, that's exactly how i feel. I mean EXACTLY. I guess it is getting better as days go by but then you wonder why you have to even get used to it, why you can't just go back...i mean it's not impossible to be near them so why not. I'm getting the hang of it..and will continue to do so.
Fais bhai, you can't snap out of it. Tried so many times. I geuss its a long slow boring procedure....
my mom still feels homesick once she comes back from my nani's place... even after 32 years of her marriage... but after a couple of days she is back to normal :)
Someone once told me that a woman doesn’t have a home…its always called her parents house or her in laws house…he told me that a womans home is in her husbands heart.
i dont know if this is meant to help…but i find it quite sweet
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Miss_Mohabbat: *
Someone once told me that a woman doesn't have a home...its always called her parents house or her in laws house...he told me that a womans home is in her husbands heart.
[/QUOTE]
Go tell that to my 37 year old female cousin. She owns her own 3000 sq ft house and doesn't have a husband or in-laws. Her parents live five miles down the road.
Go tell that to my 37 year old female cousin. She owns her own 3000 sq ft house and doesn't have a husband or in-laws. Her parents live five miles down the road.
[/QUOTE]
Oh come on funguy... you don't have to rub it in. Miss_Mohabbat is probably still thinking of women who forever remain dependent on either their parents or their husband and live in joint-families. It can be hard to claim any home as your own if your husband still lives rent-free with his folks.
So, get involved with your new family and just hang in there.
promise!! 