Re: This is serious!
ok guys, thatnks alot for your posts, many of them actually cleared me up about certain things as I myself had had a riot with my brother on this issue; i have said it before too and im repeating I NEVER WANT HIM TO BREAK HIS FAMILY OR DIVORCE HIS WIFE at all because she is my cousin also and I love my cousins no less than my own sister.
Now let me clear a few more things before I end this thread here and request the director to delete this thread as it pains me seeing people so conveniently sitting and passing jugdements even calling my brother names like calling him a sorry ass and etc.
First, that he discussed his sex life in front of his elder sister and mother, so whats so sinful about it? we are all mature enough to understand how important a normal sex life is and i beg your pardon, this wasnt the only thing he shared and pointed, it was among many other uncomfortable issues he poured out when me and mother took him aside and asked the reasons of his deteriorated condition. And SARA 516, my angel, if it is something as hideous and a taboo for you that doesnt mean others cannot voice against it too. STOP making rules for others and expecting them to lead their lives by them. With this extreme and holier than thou attitude, you better keep your responses to yourself.
Naabigh, you are right, the problem started with the business that was being setup and given to him, now some underlined facts: we lost our father when we were in our early teenages and he didnt leave us much for my brother to setup his own business. My brother even couldnt complete his education and started working in a factory because he considered it his responsibility to run household affairs although we got pension monthly as my father was a govt servant but ofcourse that wasnt enough. so even that me and the younger sister got education is due to his sacrifices. My maternal grandfamily has been our guardian since then and it was my grand father's wish to tie the knot between my brother and his another daughter's daughter as it was the only suitable match in the family and we do not really arrange marriages outside the family. my cousin turned 22 and her father wanted them to marry now as he thinks it to be age enough for girls to get married. Now a common sense can tell you 22 is not an age enough to be stable financially so he (my khaalo also my brother's father in law) along with my maamo, set my brother up a small business so that he could have some work. Now also know what was or is his status there todate. he was appointed as the storemanager/salesman on the basis on monthly salary 10,000 so that he could bear the expenses of his family. So he wasnt even given a chance to be left alone and establish himself financially. Meanwhile my brother took care of the business as an employee his FIL got richer and richer and obviously when they started playing with money (and you never "play" with a halal money, let me tell you) obviously they started to bless their "poor daughter" with her share too. Now she is the one who wouldnt wear less that 4/5 thousands a dress and so would she dress her children too. And all my brother has to suffer from is insulting or minimum indifference of attitude among all other family members only because he couldnt manage to earn haram and be as rich as them to command an equal family status and respect.
Secondly, some people are of the thought sex is the basic issue here. The guy is making excuses either for ayaashi or yes I remember another poster posting maybe he is the sorry ass and cannot do well in the bedroom himself. Well, if it were, he wouldnt be the one pointing the sex issue out and considering re marry.
even then, sex is NOT THE SOLE issue here. It is companionship, strength of relation and compassion for each other we all marry for. Imagine your spouse denying you all that and can you even survive? why do people marry if they are not getting anything from it? what would be the result other than a complete frustration and depression?
Folks, my brother is younger to me and I have seen his hair turning grey premature because of all his anxieties and I swear it hurts.
Anyway, it was never a gender debate here not it was a bhabhi nand bias. Im educated and humane enough to give my bhabhi a benefit of doubt if she ever needed.
And ofcourse my brother is not cold blooded enough to kick his wife's ass, divorce her and not bother their children, ofcourse they are our assets, the most precious and angelic beings on earth for us.
Now might he re marry as we would still beg him not to bring a sautan on our bhabi and not give her another chance although she doesnt want any, (chance)
Sunnah says if the times are the most terrible its best to migrate and this is what my brother might do now. We are planning for him to leave the country and go abroad where he can work himself and regain his self esteem for himself atleast. His wife is least bothered Im sure because you know what, she left for her parents' place along with kids some days back in order to spend some more time with her parents and siblings and when i texted her today to ask when is she to come back she said she might be back on sunday. And till then, like always her husband will be wallowing is all depression and frustration. But good for you readers, no? because it is not your sibling that is hurt.
I strongly request the director to please delete the thread. It was not a story I brought here for the mouth spice. I was hurt and am still hurt like hell because he is the only brother I have and its killing to see him wasting away like this. so please consider it on the humanitarian level and lets not make fun of it all anymore.