Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
Why do some people think doing work is like pahar tootna 
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
Goes to prove desi women will ***** about anything :D
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
I went back to re-read your threads…and woman you are a crazy fool, you’re too young to get married and your thinking is so messed up…your mother certainly has done a great job with you! 
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
Thats desi women for you.
They have an issue with everything.
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
I think everyone before me had put it really well. Honestly, I don't see a problem and you should appreciate the relationship you have with your in-laws.
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
will everyone please stop being so ironical. i guess OP is quite young so maybe her perspective of life is limited. it happens with everyone of us that at one point or other, we cannot identify the problem how clear it is. and that why we come here, to share and be guided. so give her the benefit of doubt and dont forget its about her MIL, a territory where angels fear to tread :P but well indeed, i would say the same as everyone else has, already, the OP mus be a hell of a lucky person to have such a motherly MIL.
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
isn’t calling people troll against forum rules?? 
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
Ive been engaged for 2.5 years, ive known my inlaws for more than 3 years. They really love daughters, however didnt have one so adopted one. My MIL treats me like her daughter.. theres no formality there. ( in my sisters case her mil loves her but when she goes theres a formality like her MIL makes loads of food and all like you do in case of any guest? all that is absent in my case. she makes food but doesnt serve like guests)
Now the thing thats bothering me is, she just got back from america and her daughters green card got cancelled but she had to go back in emergency for a week after spending only 4 days here.. so she asked me to come whenever possible to see the daughter (shes only 6) and help her with arts stuff like making cards and all. and as she was here for 4 days she couldnt unpack her bags and the weather changed all of a sudden.. so she asked me to unpack the bags, to put sweaters in one and so on.. obviously with the maids help..
does this attitude show that she takes me as a family or is she making me do her work in return for the expensive gifts? she makes her sons do the work too, whatever there is but they cant handle clothes..
note: shes really nice with me, always caring for me.. like my feet are small so she got tons of shoes as she knew she wont be goin to america and i would need a years stock.. get it? i like make up and she got me nars and mac stuff.. so im lost here?
What the...? What is this, the twilight zone?
You're lost? I am lost.
I am lost because I don't understand how girls like you end up with amazing MILs. You have a problem being trusted and being treated as family yet she still gives you presents and treats you like her own? And gets you branded gifts instead of dollar store junk and re-gifted things? What is going ON here?!
You would prefer being looked after and made to feel a guest...some sort of red carpet treatment. There's no room for your ego here so please kill it. No one wants to be married to a self-proclaimed princess. You're only engaged...don't be in such a rush to be single again.
I hope you're not one of those girls who messes things up with her inlaws and then comes back on this forum to open up a thread wondering why her MIL doesn't like her.
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
^ Can this OP be real.. Maybe it is someone taking the mick..
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
lol, no im not crazy or anything seriously. but the issue is that my mother was very nice with her inlaws and her inlaws only used her to take favours and never really valued it. so im paranod from that regard.
and what i forgot to write about was.. My MIL was abroad, and asked me to take care of the girl.. so that means i should be going over to their place every day or alternate days right? but thats not possible cause my mother doesnt give me the permission to do so..
i went today to their place with a great level of effort, and due to all the problems my fiance got very angry at me and told me that his mother gave me a responsibility. I dont know how to explain to them that its hard for me to go so often?
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
She treats you like her daughter... she's asking you to do things a daughter would do.
She gives you thoughtful gifts (not just random crap) but why are you connecting those to her asking you to help out?
Seriously, if you have a problem doing those things even if she wasn't so caring towards you, then you have issues.
And btw, that 'kid' is going to be more or less your little sister so perhaps you should start seeing her in that light.
Or is that you want a formal relationship with them and to be waited on hand and foot after you're married?
I take the kid as my sister already, although sometimes she teases me too much and i lose my patience still i control myself.
i know my MIL takes me as a real daughter but doesnt she know that its tough for me to come so often?
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
what is the problem?
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
lol, no im not crazy or anything seriously. but the issue is that my mother was very nice with her inlaws and her inlaws only used her to take favours and never really valued it. so im paranod from that regard.
and what i forgot to write about was.. My MIL was abroad, and asked me to take care of the girl.. so that means i should be going over to their place every day or alternate days right? but thats not possible cause my mother doesnt give me the permission to do so..
i went today to their place with a great level of effort, and due to all the problems my fiance got very angry at me and told me that his mother gave me a responsibility. I dont know how to explain to them that its hard for me to go so often?
If your MIL is abroad and needs you to do something out of majboori, whats the issue? I fail to understand what kind of relationship you want wit them.
Do you want to have distance and not get too close or do you want her to really treat you as family? In your own family, does your mother not ask you to do things for her? Your dad? People don't ask you to do things at all? Are you going to come with a maid of your own?
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
The only problem I see is no capital letters or proper paragraphing 
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
***She's not saying or even implying that she doesn't want to help out her MIL in taking care of her young daugther. She's only asking what would be more reasonable (going everyday or alternate days)...and she's asking how to work around an obstacle...which would be her mother....who doesn't feel comfortable with the idea. Again, she hasn't said that she doesn't want to help out with the kid. I can understand that some people may have had horrible MILS of their own.....but let's keep the resentment about personal situations out of the advice being given to the OP.
Yes, I agree that some of her views are unreasonable....which she has maturely (and not defensively) accepted and seems open to considering. ......cuz it's not easy reading criticism about yourself in your own thread. She's still learning how to manage having a MIL...and finding a balance between that relationship and the requirements of her own mother/family...as well as her own personal feelings. It's not the easiest thing to do. And it's tricky too keep the negative experiences of our loved ones (in this case her mom) from our feelings/views.....it requires a conscious effort for most people to redirect their thoughs in a more positive way and even give the benefit of the doubt to people.
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
Crazyfool, talk to your mom about the issue of watching over your MIL's daughter. Surely, your fiance's family is taking care of her needs...so maybe you can stop by a couple of times during the week...and CALL on a daily basis or so. Making the trips each day can be tough...so you can combine the visits with phone calls, which also show you care. Ask if they need anyhing. Since your MIL will be away...you can even bring a salan/etc over....which is a kind gesture. You can even...if your mom feels uncomfortable with you going there....ask if the little girl can spend a few days at your home. That's a possibility...although I can also see the potential for problems with that ...especially before marriage. Talk it out with your mom...there are various ways to help and it doesn't have to include visiting daily.
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
Are you sure you were not born and bred in Britain?
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
Thanks alot for understanding the issue.
You might all freak out but i havent told my mother that my MIL is out of country.. if i did my mother wouldnt let me go to their house AT ALL. hence i kept it to myself, but now im not able to manage it. my mother in law didnt impose it on me, she kindly asked me to do whats possible. but i've become like a family member which i really love and i dont want my place gone? its a weird insecurity cause his brothers girlfriend comes alot.
but my MIL didnt trust her with it, she trusted me. im not really old so this responsibity seems really heavy on my shoulders.
im afraid of disappointing my in laws while keeping my parents happy and in the end i feel burdened by their gifts.. so this i feel would pay offf.. although there isnt any pay off in families but im not blood.
Note: i know my thoughts are very scattered. thats why im writing it all here. lol trying to take it off my mind cause i can barely sleep!
Re: This is my relationship with my in laws, is this normal?
You don't seem able to face the pressure n all.........just tell your MIL you can't do it......make some logical/acceptable excuse.......