Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

No.

I listed what matters to me. I'm totally ok with taking care of parents. I expect to do the same for my parents later in life, so why not?

Although, yes, I would prefer a separate household early on because it's important to bond and become a team in the 'first years' of marriage. Struggling and standing on your own feet is a part of that. As is some privacy.

22

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

whow nomi u really understand gurlz ... haha
** personally # 3 and 5 are kind atrue for meh hehe **

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

Most married women I know love dressing the way their husbands want them to. They like cooking something new and different for their hubbies and look forward to his compliments. They enjoy being wives.

One of my best friends...Inshallah I hope to someday have a marriage like that. Her husband travels for work so she is home with three kids including an infant alone. When he comes home, he takes full charge of the kids and she is free to do anything she wants. Im so amazed...she will hang out at my house until midnight or later if she wants and hubby will just call and make sure she is fine but never pressure her to come home right away. She goes grocery shopping and he cuts the veggies to freeze them. She takes the kids to school and he tutors them. After three kids, they're still in love and going strong Mashallah. When you take a closer look though...its not that she is shouldering the entire house on her own and he is free to work and watch tv afterwards...its that he shares. He has an active interest in what happens in his home - including the kitchen, kids and BOTH sets of parents.

These lists are useless because its not just one person's job to wipe the kids' butts or to cook. Its a joint effort and if you want to make your house into a home...you have to be active in making it happen. Ghar pyar se bante hein...logon se nahin.

Divide it down the middle, sure. But when it comes time for your parents to get a cup of a tea...you might be busy and ask your wife. If she says, "sorry buddy I already did my shift for today"...I cant imagine many men being happy about it.

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

He shouldn't expect me to move into his parents home as I need my space and to be able to feel I can build my 'nest' (if they're ill or lonely they're welcome to move in with us tho)..

He shouldn't expect me to cover more or wear hijab or even niqaab just because he tells me to.. If I do I will do it in my own time (if it bothers him that much best marry someone better suited to his more conservative tastes)..

He shouldn't expect me to stop working.. (again he should marry someone who is happy to stay at home in the first place)..

Likewise, I wouldn't interfere in the way he lives his life, what job he wants to do etc. Not fair to go ahead and marry someone then try and change or mould them into something different imo

25

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

Everyone is probably talking out of some of his/her experience. I will say what i have seen mostly happening around me. Husband should not expect that if he has married his wife so he has kind of bought her from her parents. He should not expect from her that she will forget her parents and siblings completely and treat them as they are some dooooor paaaar ke rishtaydaar. This is very cruel and unfair from husband's side when they expect such behavior from his wife for her own parents n siblings. Parents are parents regardless his parents or her parents. By default they deserve to be respected and taken care of.

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

mashaAllah mashaAllah :)

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

I don’t know about what not to expect but i do know that my husband should expect to;

1- Be my haath- bandha ghulam
and
2- Take care of me and my entire khandaan, whether he likes it or not

I don’t need a husband, i need a slave :chai:

P.S. Nomi, please don’t get a heart attack.

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

^ interesting! :omg:

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

I just want a nice guy…is that too much to ask? :hinna:

30

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

Dear moderator…that post of yours is off-topic…:smiley:

this was addressed to you http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/481142-things-that-husband-should-not-expect.html#post8018609

31

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

He should not expect me to be a mind reader. He should not expect me to obey without question. Everything else is negotiable.

32

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

nah you just need to spent less time on GS. 9000 plus posts is just lil too much. i guess you can find a guy who spent few hrs a day on video games. Just an honest advice

33

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

In life we shouldn't have any expectations from anyone...High expectations lead to a lower sense of happiness when these expectations aren't fulfilled we feel very disappointed, upset, and hurt...So its best not to have any expectations from anyone

34

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

With all the replies, and the hidden gem below, I wonder if I should ever ask this question!

35

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

:omg: dude…fun ain’t it??

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

Spending considerable time away from each other helps look at the positive side of each other more easily. It is easier for both partners to overlook each others shortcomings when they are not constantly living with each other. It is easier to be compromising when you do not have to be compromising every hour, everyday. It is easier to find love, when you lose it from time to time.

However, in the long run it will be damaging because learning from living together will not be there. When they will start living together, both will yearn for the time when they used to part regularly. Best time to get adjusted are the initial days of the marriage. By losing that opportunity, this may not necessarily lead to similarly rosy picture later in life.

37

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

backdoor entry:rotfl:

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

They've been married for 9 years and he just started traveling 1.5 years ago. He travels 4 days a week and is home from Thursday through Sunday. I think they've had enough time to adjust.

39

Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

Lmao my first thought was "someone's sheltered". Were you just asking him to elaborate?

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Re: Things that Husband SHOULD NOT EXPECT

^ yep! ;)