am sure many DILs like myself expereince this..my MIL(who is in khi) talks crap to my dewrani (in USA) about me all the time.. youd wonder how i know, its cos my dewrani tells me “what mummy said “and altho i dont knwo much about my dewranis nature as we havnt lived tigether ata ll (we both live in diff countires)i do have an idea about er, she likes to start a fitna/gossip by giving her a cue.
now, on my fb i just wrote a status about packing to move right, so obviously my dewrani has too much self proclaimed dignity to ask me directly why,where,when, so she calls up my sas and asks her. my sas was on phone with me asking if we found a place and all and casually mentioned” xyz pooch rahi thi bhabi kahan move ho rahi hai, kia hua hai, kiun to main ne bataya etc..”
a) i dont understand why does dewrani have the guts to pass on the gossip to me but doesnt have the friendliness to just directly casually ask me someothng herself .. i dont understand such people. it just means to me they want to dish out dirt aswell.no?
b) now i know next time she sees me online , she will pretend like she doesnt knwo or say something like mummy ne bataya and so on.. now guys tell me, how do i let her know tactfully with the corrct chice of words that " i know you know cos you asked her already" without sounding accusing or cunning (like her).
really hate such women man, i mean , dont egt me wrong, i feel special in a way cos they are talkign about me = being popular LOL.
am sure many DILs like myself expereince this..my MIL(who is in khi) talks crap to my dewrani (in USA) about me all the time.. youd wonder how i know, its cos my dewrani tells me "what mummy said "and altho i dont knwo much about my dewranis nature as we havnt lived tigether ata ll (we both live in diff countires)i do have an idea about er, she likes to start a fitna/gossip by giving her a cue.
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Out of your whole thread - this is the only bit that stuck out to me.
I bet mother in law hears all about the bad stuff you say about her to the other daughter in law too...
Seems like your sister in law is playing a clever game.
Out of your whole thread - this is the only bit that stuck out to me.
I bet mother in law hears all about the bad stuff you say about her to the other daughter in law too...
Seems like your sister in law is playing a clever game.
yes its seems to me, which is why i am always careful to not say anything about her.just brush it off or talk in general about a gossip she passes on to me..but yes, i do feel she is trying to be smart and clever, i am just wondering how long she can play this if she really is.:-?
y ? you think only nunds and mils can be (edited) you see, i have noticed this behaviour of hers over the time and i have seen her ask stuff to my sas about people (that my sas has something against.in my case, my parents didnt give ‘enough’ to my hubby at the wedding so that gived her the right to hate me for the rest of my life and never treat me and my kids equally) so that my sas can have something nasty and mean to say about them.. for example:
Sceanrio1:
Dewrani: " mummy, bhabi pak aa rahi hain, tou aap bhabi ke liye kapre bana ke rakheingi?" (she knows my sas is not someone who will do that; why cant she ask me this instead)
Saas: (with a sneer) " main kiun banao, mere liye dekhna kuch nahi laye gi , pichli baar bhi aai thi tou aisa bekaaar bag aur perfume lai thiiiiiiiiii"… and so on.
Sceanrio 2:
Dewrani:" Mummy mammu ki dawat main momani ne kia pehna tha?"
Saas(with a wicked laughter and sneer) :" alllllllaaaaahhhhhh aisi bekaar lag rahi thiiiiii. itna bara soney ka settttt itna bura lag raha thaaaaaaaa (obviously the opposite)".
and guess what, she has formed an ‘alliance’ with my sass most hated enemy, her nand!! my sas ki nand calls my dewarni fron khi but doesnt care calling my sas or her own bro cos of issues, and dewrani teases my sas by mentioning it!!!LOL..
so yousee, she lies to ignite issues and fights and misunderstanidng and just brushes off her hands and walks off.
have done that ages ago, and that i guess gives her an itch even more... you wouldnt believ all the stuff my MIL has told her about me and my hubby that only my MIL knoes and should have kept to herself for the sake of her own son. chee chee.
*There is no need for a proper choice of words for such people. *
Go with:
I know you know because you asked her already :)
hahahahaha, you think i should take that risk..shoudl i go all " (edited)" on her?? lol..
you know i agree with one of the guppies above who said that it will all pass and let ehr do what shes doing..after all, how much can abd will they talk about me. buri ho ho ke bhi kitni buri ho sakti houn right? my MIL has gone to the extent of saying stuff like i sit online doing 'khee khee khee' (implying i am talking to another guy) to a distant family member of mine. and it occured to me, that because she cant find definite flaws in me and my hubby has never REALLy complained about me, excpet for an incident or two where just like every normal married couple we both have had a few seconds of disagreement!.. she resorts to this kind of bull about me.. ant yet, theres my other un-married dewrani in khi, who posts her photois with males cpusin standing ' seena ba seena' and not a owrd about her by anybody. i dont judge her or anything but i mean WTF?!? THAT is something youd think she and her crapminded family memerbs would talk about but nooooo. pick on the quite one. bunch of losers!
I agree this shouldn't happen but I don't see that much of an issue really. Unless its something they are saying that is bad against you, just casually looking at your fb and reading your status there and discussing it isn't a big deal to me.
I see someone uploading their shaadi pictures etc or status saying something important, I do discuss that with my husband/friend/mom. Unless I am talking bad about it, I really don't see an issue with it. You yourself is putting that on your status for the world to look at and then when the world does look at and comment on it, you have an issue? I dont' get. Just simply don't put t hings on your status that you don't want anyone to talk about. Simple, no??
Again, I'll ask, do they talk BAD about you? or just sharing information?
I agree this shouldn't happen but I don't see that much of an issue really. Unless its something they are saying that is bad against you, just casually looking at your fb and reading your status there and discussing it isn't a big deal to me.
I see someone uploading their shaadi pictures etc or status saying something important, I do discuss that with my husband/friend/mom. Unless I am talking bad about it, I really don't see an issue with it. You yourself is putting that on your status for the world to look at and then when the world does look at and comment on it, you have an issue? I dont' get. Just simply don't put t hings on your status that you don't want anyone to talk about. Simple, no??
Again, I'll ask, do they talk BAD about you? or just sharing information?
yeah , all the time. read the scenarios i mentioned above, the stuff my MIL says about me. yes i know i put up status for people to read cos thats why you put them up, but my point here is, something as casual and simple like that status of mine, is used as a cue sometimes to start off a bigger burai.. things like i hear " haan tou bechara is liye hi ghar shift ker rah ahoga na kiun ke ghar ko itna bura haal ker diay tha ke ghar chorna hi pera".. you see, MIL cant say all this to nayone else but she can to dewrani cos she thinks she can trust her with the crap she talks as MIl is the only one who has ever visted me and so it can potentially be believable...
Also, did i mention, my dewrni talks so bad about my MIL but in front of me she is hugging and kissing her and trying to create a relationship with her that is so fake i bet even my MIL feels it lol. i dont get how twisted they both r man!
If I was in your shoes...I would literally get so involved with my own life...nothing they said would affect me. Ever.
You dont live with them or have to see them on a daily basis...so why do you care soooo much?
Dont chat with them online, dont gossip with them, dont stoop to their level and dont feel the need to please them.
If you lived with them, different story but you dont.
10000000% agree! They live so far away from you why do you bother with them? You've got your own little life with your husband so just immerse yourself in it and not worry about other people..their lives must not be so great which is why they have the need to gossip and waste time!
LOL.
you see, i have noticed this behaviour of hers over the time and i have seen her ask stuff to my sas about people (that my sas has something against.in my case, my parents didnt give ‘enough’ to my hubby at the wedding so that gived her the right to hate me for the rest of my life and never treat me and my kids equally) so that my sas can have something nasty and mean to say about them.. for example:
