My uncles sister works for an NGO in Pakistan that collects used fancy clothes to give to poor girls who are getting married but can’t afford to make any clothes.
I live in the states but my parents and in laws live in Canada. My mom told me next time I was coming to bring any clothes I wasn’t wearing anymore and along with other clothes she has collected from people, she would send a container to Pakistan.
So I packed a huge box full of clothes to donate plus put in some clothes that I would be wearing while visiting and sent the box to canada with my in laws when they came to visit us cause I wouldn’t have enough room to bring everything with me.
The time between my in laws going back home and me coming was a few weeks. When I came I was at their house visiting and noticed one of my outfits was hanging in the backyard. I didn’t say anything at that time cause I knew my sils would spin a story if I asked in front of them. I then asked my mil a few hours later about my clothes. When I asked her she said ‘oh yah I was just about to tell you about your clothes. We bought a 24 liter container of oil from Costco and the kids (which kids???) put the container upside down on the box and it all leaked into the box. We didn’t notice until all the oil had spilled out. All the clothes are drenched in oil. I tried to wash a few of them but oil doesn’t come out of clothing.’ And then she walked away as if it was nothing. No apology for ruining $1000’s of dollars worth of clothes, no remorse at all. I’m so upset and think I deserve an apology.
My husband is still in the states and I haven’t had the chance to talk to him properly because he just started a new job and is working crazy hours…but I did tell him what happened. All he said was oh that’s terrible. I’m one of those people who can’t bring up my feelings to my in laws, but I think it’s reasonable of me to expect my husband to say something to his mother.
Should I expect my husband to talk to my mil about me being upset about this? And don’t I deserve at least an apology?
Oil got spilled on those clothes by mistake, they didn’t do it intentionally of course. May be your in laws washed those clothes afterwards that’s why they were hanging in the backyard.
Yes, she tried to wash the oil out of the clothes. It was hanging outside to dry. I know it was a mistake, I'm not saying one of them intentionally stood there and poured the container over my clothes. But people do apologize for making mistakes. If I ruined my Mils clothes or my sils clothes by accident, the first thing I would do is apologize. That's my point.
Not the ones with a lot of work on them. And I'm not willing to pay $20+ for each ruined outfit. My husband talked to his sister (not his mom) and she said she would pay for the dry cleaning of the clothes that I want to keep. That's fine...I didn't want them to pay for it, I just wanted an apology. But what happens to the over 40 outfits that were meant for poor girls in Pakistan? Those I have to just throw out.
Give them to poor people...I'm sure they'll try to make them wearable. They don't waste anything in Pakistan. :D
About saying sorry....family members don't always have to say it verbally. Their actions can demonstrate that they're sorry and in this case your SIL did try to make the amendments.
I know you must be really annoyed it but there's no point in winding yourself up about it, at the end of the day they're only clothes and can be replaced. Just get the ones you want to keep dry cleaned. I wouldn't bring it up again its not worth it.
They have ruined 40 outfits of yours and still you choose to send your expensive outfit with give away clothes with them? That was very smart of you.
Anyway take it to a dry cleaner.
PS. If they haven't apologised for the 40, what makes you expect that they will this time?
They have ruined 40 outfits of yours and still you choose to send your expensive outfit with give away clothes with them? That was very smart of you.
Anyway take it to a dry cleaner.
PS. If they haven't apologised for the 40, what makes you expect that they will this time?
I only gave them one box of clothes, the 40 outfits that were for donation. And those are the ones they ruined. I didn't give them anything after that.
As Ethan said grow up.. Family dont do stuff like that on purpose... She is elder to you expecting an apology out of elders is okey(if they are gravely wrong otherwise they are elders they shoildnt be expected to apologize) but nhi bhi mile toh thik hai....
and.. she didnt do it kids did..
you might be angry..but you werent going to use them.... aur bas un bachon k bhag ki bat nhi thi..so they didnt got them... bsss..fogrt about it...
Even if she does apologise it won't change anything. I don't think its worth making your MIL and SIL feel embarrassed and saying sorry, as your relationship won't be so good after. Also similarly to what others said action speak louder than words the fact that they offered to dry clean shows that they didn't mean it and aren't looking for trouble.
As Ethan said grow up.. Family dont do stuff like that on purpose... She is elder to you expecting an apology out of elders is okey(if they are gravely wrong otherwise they are elders they shoildnt be expected to apologize) but nhi bhi mile toh thik hai....
and.. she didnt do it kids did..
you might be angry..but you werent going to use them.... aur bas un bachon k bhag ki bat nhi thi..so they didnt got them... bsss..fogrt about it...
Agree with most of your post. Except -
It is not relevant whether OP was going to use the ruined clothes or some other folks that wouod have received the donated clothes.
The big picture is the in laws did OP a favor by taking a box full of clothes. OP was visiting them in a week or two. But somehow didn't have space to fit the box. But somehow the in laws had space to fit HER box in ADDDITION to their luggage.
Expecting old people to carry ur luggage itself.sounds bad. But NOT thanking them for this favor AND expecting an apology for what was CLEARLY an accident makes this unfair to in laws.
As Ethan said grow up.. Family dont do stuff like that on purpose... She is elder to you expecting an apology out of elders is okey(if they are gravely wrong otherwise they are elders they shoildnt be expected to apologize) but nhi bhi mile toh thik hai....
and.. she didnt do it kids did..
you might be angry..but you werent going to use them.... aur bas un bachon k bhag ki bat nhi thi..so they didnt got them... bsss..fogrt about it...
Agree with most of your post. Except -
It is not relevant whether OP was going to use the ruined clothes or some other folks that wouod have received the donated clothes.
The big picture is the in laws did OP a favor by taking a box full of clothes. OP was visiting them in a week or two. But somehow didn't have space to fit the box. But somehow the in laws had space to fit HER box in ADDDITION to their luggage.
Expecting old people to carry ur luggage itself.sounds bad. But NOT thanking them for this favor AND expecting an apology for what was CLEARLY an accident makes this unfair to in laws.
It is not relevant whether OP was going to use the ruined clothes or some other folks that wouod have received the donated clothes.
The big picture is the in laws did OP a favor by taking a box full of clothes. OP was visiting them in a week or two. But somehow didn't have space to fit the box. But somehow the in laws had space to fit HER box in ADDDITION to their luggage.
Expecting old people to carry ur luggage itself.sounds bad. But NOT thanking them for this favor AND expecting an apology for what was CLEARLY an accident makes this unfair to in laws.
Oh.. I didnt read it full.. yeah so what you are saying is also right.. didnt knew about the favour...
and wasnt snapping before..
was joking.. (about zombie)
