Re: THEY HATE ME!!!!!!!
Then you haven't spent much time around non-desi families - not only is my family much closer than my husband's, or any desi family that I know, but we don't do that ridiculous "don't talk to aunty because we're mad at her right now", comparing the kids, who has the biggest house, and other nonsense. If someone does well in my family, we're happy for them, not jealous. And there is certainly none of the "don't spend too much time with your wife's family" or expecting a ridiculous amount of gifts from family members who live far away when they visit. No one in my family or anyone else's that I know would have ever considered fighting over the stuff that goes on in desi families, which is why I was so unprepared for it after my marriage. Who knew that you have to watch every word that comes out of your mouth around your own family?
A little bit of 'personal space' or whatever you call it is beneficial to the relationship, imo. Look at the smaller towns and see how many people have either moved back after having kids or never moved away - and you will see a different picture of 'western society'.