Having domestic help and housemaids is an essential part of our lifestyle these days.
I am an educated person and mother of two kids. I am a housewife from the core of my heart and do not want to neglect any responsibility that I have towards my family. I even want the lid of the ketchup bottle to be cleaned all the time and care about small things. I do not want to leave house for a job as I know that I will not be able to manage job and household at the same time so I have found my own way and I work online from home. That is very convenient as that gives me flexible hours to work, a sufficient income to help my husband in running the expenses plus time to take care of my kids and keep an eye on the household work. I cook salan and fancy dishes for my family and I do not send my kids to tuitions and teach them at home but those people who say that women here just hire help and sit and watch TV are wrong as I hardly get time out of my work and everything to just enjoy. Now I can do just one thing if I want to avoid hiring a housemaid, that is leaving my work that I do to earn a few extra bucks and spend that time washing the bathrooms and doing the dishes. As the labour is really cheap in Pakistan, no one will call me wise and will ask me to do simple mathematics and tell me that I should hire someone for 10% of my monthly income and spend that time on my online work. I agree, and my work is also my passion so I really want to do that, BUT … in efforts of all these years it is really HARD to find god domestic help.
I have hired girls of 18-19 years of age and women 40-50 years of age, I have hired couples, I have hired men and none of those is willing to work properly. I hired one maid and one day I found that she was stealing money, not only that but she was also telling every little detail of our household affairs to whole neighbourhood. I was putting the money under lock and key but she managed a way to open the lock with a knife or something.
I hired another girl and she was constantly talking over mobile phone, she was not interested in doing anything but calling different people. Well that is her personal matter but as long as she works fine but NO, she put the pressure cooker in trash can so she doesn’t have to wash it and I wont be able to see it, when I find out she said yeah I just put it here I was intending to wash it tomorrow.
I hired another woman and she used to take time off to go to market, first 1 hour a day, then 2 and then 5 hours a day. When I asked her why does she leave and doesn’t do work properly she started yelling that I do not go to meet a boyfriend, I just go to do my own work and I was shocked as I never accused her of meeting a BF anyway.
I hired another girl, left her home and went for dinner with my husband, when we returned and rang the bell, she didn’t open the door, we knocked so hard she didn’t open, we called the person who broke the door with a hammer and she was standing in front of the door saying, I was wondering what is going on. (I live in a small apartment and she could even hear the first knock.)
I hired this other girl who is currently working for me and she told me that she used to mix zenix in the drink of her previous employer so she’ll go to sleep and she can visit market, she steals every edible thing that my kids get like Nachos , Pringles, skittles, sting or gums. I give her food on time, like paratha for breakfast and sufficient salan and roti for every meal but I do not afford feeding a maid nachos like I get those for my kids. I buy a new bottle of shampoo, a pack of Always , a toothpaste and a bar of soap for her every month apart from the salary I give her and I do give her good salary against the services she provides me. How does it justifies stealing everything that my kids buy and now should I even keep those things in a locker? She sleeps in my daughter’s room where there is a TV and she watches TV all night long and as a result she is lazy and sleepy in the morning. She has started taking a lot of tea lately and when I asked the reason she said that watching excessive TV is giving her headaches. I am a very sensitive person and I believe in human rights, Islamic way of treating other human beings but I cannot buy Marks and Spencer undergarments for my maid, so she steals mine. Is it justified? I cannot buy Pringles for her so she steals mine, is it justified?
I have read a lot of threads on this forum where they criticize women who hire maids and get work done and do not do household chores like in west. Well even our salan is very different from the one cooked in west. We have loadshedding and water issues so we cannot use a dishwasher, we cannot even use an automatic washing machine to wash clothes as water and electricity is not sufficient. We have lot of dust and just vacuuming the house is not helpful. Plus with this much price hike husband and wife both must work to maintain a certain lifestyle. I am a very hardworking person and I do not waste a single minute of my day but hiring a maid is essential for me keeping in mind the problems we face and the quantity of work we have due to those problems but I haven’t found even a single honest and willing maid yet. They steal, they misbehave and even they can be very harmful and dangerous. We cannot live with them, we cannot live without them. Agree or not, but this is my very own experience and opinion.
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Information overload…
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OK, I decided to read it.
Clearly, you have had a bad experience with maids! or you’re overacting. However, if everything is true what you write then I feel sorry for you.
Maybe you’re too nice with them and they’re clearly taking advantage of that!
Change your ways and be more strict…
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Really? I read the whole post. Honestly, it was refreshing to read about the antics of maids; one gets rather tired of the MIL rants. This had drama, humor, and tragedy. While I can’t think of any helpful suggestions atm, I am truly curious about what the maid who didn’t open the door was doing, whether or not the defensive maid actually did run off to see her boyfriend, and what the OP would find if she were to do a background check on these maids. Wait! There’s an idea. OP…ask for references and contact previous employers of these maids before hiring. See what others have to say about them.
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yeah interesting read - though I’m not quite sure what you’re asking. Hope you find a good maid though - I think you should sack the current one as she’s stealing from you. Zero tolerance with stealing!!
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we’ve been blessed with really good maids, they’ve been working in the family for 10+ years.
As for hiring a new maid, i’d say you request their CNIC, if they dont have it pay at least one place to their place of residence.
Lay out the terms and conditions to the new maid before they start. Also warn them of the repercussion of bad work (cut from pay)/ stealing/ taking too many days off, etc. Be firm, but fair.
And most importantly fear Allah when dealing with the less fortunate. Talk to them with respect, treat them as equals.
And yeah… considering how cheap labour is in this country, i dont know why anyone would want to wash their own toilets 
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Female maids are in great demand here in Islamabad and most of the people are rich . If I fire one, someone else hires them the very next day so they are not easily threatened by such things that I’ll cut the pay etc. If I threaten them they say that ok we will leave then, you can hire someone else.
There are just a few ways to find a maid, 1, giving an ad in newspaper, 2, maid agency 3, asking some other maid who works for neighbours etc. When we give an ad in newspaper we get an ok response but if we ask for previous employers no. etc. They say (and almost every maid answers like this) I worked for them for 2-5 years but now the whole family has moved to Dubai or USA so you can not contact them.
We contacted a maid agency and they say they will take 1 months salary of the maid and shall provide no guarantee if she will stay or not. There is another maid agency that provides guarantee, they said they will pay the maid themselves but they demanded double of the wages that we already pay.
I hired rest of the maids with some reference like my mother’s driver sent one or neighbour’s safai wali brought one. Nothing is working for me for now and if I fire the one who is stealing I have to do dishes for next 1 week or so until I find another one with her own set of problems.
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You know she was just standing when the door was opened she claimed that she went to sleep but when I asked why didn’t she open the door when we were trying to break it with hammer, she just started crying and said I want to go home. It was her first day at work. We think perhaps she was just enjoying keeping us locking out of the house or just God knows her intentions.
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Thanks, I am asking nothing I just wanted to vent and just wanted to hear some opinions. Again I can not fire this maid because a replacement wont be available that quickly, I am going to start looking for a new one while keeping her till I find a new one.
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poor thing was probably scared when you guys were trying to break the door. If it was me, I wouldn’t open the door either.
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story of my life 
like I always say, hum nokar nahin rakhtay, nokar humayn rahtay hain 
I have a longer list of the ones I have dealt with and even worse stories related to them ; still I tolerated them all and except one whom I fired, rest of them fired me
So, PLEASE if someone knows someone reliable in Lahore, PM me
:sigh:
How can anyone leave a maid in their house when they don’t even know her?
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I do that if ever needed but with the main door locked, all bedrooms locked with an access to the washroom and the kitchen and laundry area
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^ but certainly not on her first day? will you? No one can trust new maids, it takes some time to judge them.
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I went through 10-12 maids in 2 years of when I was living in India same story everywhere, when my mom goes back to pakistan, we have some people taking care of our house even when my parents are not there, they are the same except for one guy who is there for the last 12-13 years and manages rest of the staff at home, my mom says everyone is HADD-HARAM 
and even this guy that my parents have for long time, he does dis-honesty in money matters etc and that my mom says she has put up with because others are worse than him and he keeps tab on other kaam wale at home.
Good luck!
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are these all live-in maids?
my parents lived in pakistan for several years, my mother never kept a live in maid but she did have someone come in every day and I think she’s had good luck with her.
on the other hand, we had a chowkidaar, he was with us for years…and then my parents found out he was stealing from them. so sad 
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no marina,not on first day certainly. I said if ever needed …
Sara, I prefer live-in ones since I cannot check them before leaving every day for the stolen stuff plus I am not home all the time and it’s not feasible to wait for them all day. the live in ones go back home every month so I can check the stuff etc even then my last maid stole some perfumes and money. they know all the techniques. she had kept a separate bag outside the gate when her mom came to pick her telling it’s garbage for the garbage truck
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,
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Well we locked all the bedrooms and she could just take TV from living or kitchen stove which were accessible to her. We live in an apartment building with just one entrance and a guard sitting there. He doesn’t let anyone come in without keeping his/her ID card, likewise he wouldn’t allow her to leave the building without asking her if she was holding something in her hands, so we knew that she can not steal anything.
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my parents have live in staff, I had one live-in in India, it was too much it makes both me and hubby uncomfortable.
Here in canada we used to do nanny share with one of our friends she used to come friday afternoon and leave sunday afternoon. Even though she used to be in her room in our walk-out basement, when she used to be done, and WAS AMAZING help ever, we used to be a little uncomfortable but we didnt let her go until we moved out of country, she was AMAAAZING.