How do you emotionally detach yourself from your husband when he is with the other wife or wives? What do you tell yourself to make your own selves emotionally strong to deal with it. I think these women would have to be so strong or just built differently than other women because they don’t react to sharing someone they love in the same way that other women might.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
Dude.. after few years of marriages women start turning into men.
They was respect 
as oppose to love.
Also they start longing for their space as oppose to clinging to him all the time.
I think the one who live in such marriage only feel less pressures.
(If they can stand such arrangement.)
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
^After a few years of marriage, I would think a person would get even more emotionally attached. If I liked a guy, just seeing him displaying affection for his now wife or fiance would be pure torture. I wouldn't even attend an event where i would have to see that or deal with it.
Women that are in such an arrangement don't obviously see their husband in the same way as another woman might see hers. Being possessive or feeling any emotional attachment of "he's committed only to me" does not exist in their minds. You aren't in such an arrangement Monk and marriage is a life long ordeal, it's something they would deal with every day of their lives. I think i'll wait for one of these women to answer or respond.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
^Never read about anyone here being part of a marriage like this GG..
Another possibility might also be they don't love (or aren't so attached) to their husbands and so it's not so hurtful..
Some might be thinking as long as they're looked after financially and in a practical sense it's not that bad if he's sleeping with someone else..
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
I think it's something they just have to bear if they went along with it. Otherwise they wouldv just divorced. Either they learn to ignore it, ignore their jealousy, or they continue to fuel it and play games to make each other's life hell. One of my cousins friends is a 2nd wife's daughter. My cousin didn't say anything about how the wives deal with it but she did say that her friend has to be ultra careful when out in public for fear of being spotted by her half siblings and what stories they might weave when they get home, and therefore what friends mom has to hear about "yay tarbiyat kar rahi ho Tum bachon ki..." basically hubby just had the nuts to initially marry her but not stand up for her if need be.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
If you've been brainwashed into believing there is no such thing as love, and that a man has a right to be with other women, because men have more sexual rights than women, then you'll be resigned to just accept it. These things you see in communities where if women were to get a divorce in that situation, they may be SOL in terms of financial support, so they stick through it out of necessity.
Then there are polyamorous couples, and they're just kinky, that's all.
GG why are u worried about women who chose to live by such an arrangement?. One of our close relative in Pak... married another woman who was his wife's friend. She needed support..emotional and financial so it happened. Both women live in the same house. As weird it sounds...you do have cases like that.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
probably, they wait for their turns. i think they accept the fact that they have to share so when it's NOT her turn, she is OK with it. love can be shared, you just have to accept it.
^ dude...stop writing in caps where it is not necessary...
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
Op, unless you're going to be in a polygamous marriage, why worry about it? If you already know that you absolutely will not stand for such an arrangement, then you'd likely divorce or separate if you were in it.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
How do you emotionally detach yourself from your husband when he is with the other wife or wives? What do you tell yourself to make your own selves emotionally strong to deal with it. I think these women would have to be so strong or just built differently than other women because they don't react to sharing someone they love in the same way that other women might.
At the moment, I can confirm you if I was given a chance to become 2nd wife of my true love then I would have been ok due to the situation. I know he can't divorce his 1st wife since his parents selected her. I was one of those girls that would cry even if he looked at any girl in the past. So you can imagine how much I have been through to accept this... To accept polygamy, a woman needs to be strong headed and strong person in general. Polygamy is really dependent on needs. I don't need him with me 24 hours since I have goals and priorities in life to go very far and create my own identity. The drama garbage can be dealt by the 1st wife. I only need him emotionally and physically but this is just a hypothetical situation... At the end, you just have to accept and swallow when no options are left.
I am sure that I am going to be laughing at my post after 5 years when I have kids and my own family :)
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
My uncle got married to a younger woman because she needed financial stability and the 1st wife couldn't take care of him. The 1st wife was getting old and he cooked/cleaned for 5-7 years but he couldn't do it any longer.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
My uncle got married to a younger woman because she needed financial stability and the 1st wife couldn't take care of him. The 1st wife was getting old and he cooked/cleaned for 5-7 years but he couldn't do it any longer.
So basically he got a great deal on the "hired help"? That's cold...
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
So basically he got a great deal on the "hired help"? That's cold...
He married a poor girl from village and moved her to Europe.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
Women that are in such an arrangement don't obviously see their husband in the same way as another woman might see hers.
Bingo! I'm not sure what you expect to hear from women who are in such marriage since you already seem to understand how/why they manage to share their husband.
As you can already see from other responses...not all marriages take place b/c of love. Not only that.....often 1st wives may not even have a choice but to put up with having to share their husband b/c they can't support themselves financially or choose not to leave b/c of children/social stigma.
BTW, I don't recall ever seeing a regular member here admit to being part of a polygamous marriage so if you want to hear personal stories, this probably isn't the best choice of forum. But if you're truly interested, doing a simple Google search will bring up plenty of forums for you to read on women's experiences.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
If you've been brainwashed into believing there is no such thing as love, and that a man has a right to be with other women, because men have more sexual rights than women, then you'll be resigned to just accept it. These things you see in communities where if women were to get a divorce in that situation, they may be SOL in terms of financial support, so they stick through it out of necessity.
Then there are polyamorous couples, and they're just kinky, that's all.
Love is just a chemical reaction sunshine, which causes morons to ruin their lives in pursuit of the mythical "one". And polygyny was the norm among humans for thousands of years, so it's monogamy that's unusual.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
Love is just a chemical reaction sunshine, which causes morons to ruin their lives in pursuit of the mythical "one". And polygyny was the norm among humans for thousands of years, so it's monogamy that's unusual.
They say men can love more than one woman at a particular time. I am not sure if it is true but I being a girl can love more than 1 guy. I love my fiancé but my ex-bf holds a very special place in my heart because he is the only guy I have been with. I wonder how unethical that is for a woman to love more than 1 man and I sometimes live in my past but I don't let it affect me.
I am not sure if any woman here who have had relationships in the past feels the capability of handling polygamous relationship. We are kept in check by rules, religious values, and society norms else the world would have been a very destructive place.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
Love is just a chemical reaction sunshine, which causes morons to ruin their lives in pursuit of the mythical "one". And polygyny was the norm among humans for thousands of years, so it's monogamy that's unusual.
While I agree with you about monogamy being unusual, I don't think you understand PCG's point. There is no denying that love is a chemical reaction but love itself has many phases which all people in long term relationships experience. Love evolves as people grow more mature. Brainwashing to accept that "love" doesn't exist will confuse any soul because everyone falls in and out of love. Regardless of our upbringing and our circumstances, all humans experience love at some point in their lives. That is PCG's point I believe.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
How do you emotionally detach yourself from your husband when he is with the other wife or wives? What do you tell yourself to make your own selves emotionally strong to deal with it. I think these women would have to be so strong or just built differently than other women because they don't react to sharing someone they love in the same way that other women might.
you must go to the interior areas of Pak like Sind and KP to find the answer since its common over there.
Re: The women that are in a polygamous marriage
How about asking women who have affairs with married men, and there are a lot of them around.