There comes a point in (before marriage) relationship where heart takes over from mind. Anyone (girl or guy) who is willing to cross that point with the pretext of trust or love is not worth to live life with.
Its almost unbelievable that girl/guy can not sense the things coming their way. They mostly know whats coming and once its all done and dusted, they try to fool around (or fool themselves) with "O main kia kertee main nai tu uss per itna trust kia tha" or "main kia kerta, main apney aaap ko rook nahi saka"
So true. I have always wondered the same thing. In my opinion, anyone who is sincere towards his/her partner would not cross or let other cross a certain limit. I have seen that going astray in relationships causes many problems. Anyhow, may God give hidayat to everyone
just because someone 'promised' her something...and she believed it........ did she forget or ignored the fact that actual commitment to to have sex or get physical is "marriage" and not mere promises???
when she goes in the 'relationshtip' to the extent of getting physical (when she knows for a fact that nothing is final until marriage...and it might not work)..... how can she avoid responsibility compared to the guy???
Quite a good point Nomi Bro. I agree. But I answer this by also asserting that in relationships things usually start off small and build up (slippery slope argument)...specifically in this, one things occur after another in such a succesion of passing hurdles that the next bigger hurdle just seems like just a slightly bigger jump than the previous hurdle passed , rather than the actual jump if it were considered on its own..
Sometimes judgement/rational is clouded by love and feelings... so i wouldnt atleast refer a non-virgin girl as someone who just acted on her lust.
I would iterate that 'Love' is a powerful human emotion. People commit things and go to extremes very often for the sake of this 'Love'. Consider a Parents love for his child, Or Consider a brothers love for his younger brother.
Although at the same time i concede that to your notion that sex is a definate and big physical act. Any girl allowing a guy to go that far for the sake of love and trust in him that he would be for ever faithful to her if he is deciding to take it this far, is taking a big risk. If it does not work out later- i guess it is fair to say that shes been a stupid girl who should have used better judgment and discretion. Therefore its her fault equally. Sex is not a randomly possible occuring act like holding hands, hugging or kissing. It certainly requires some degree of prior planning...
In islam when you reach puberty and a suitable math is found the nikah should not be delayed, women are described as fruits if not plucked when ripe they will rott and fall. I hope everyone can learn from this, women are also described as the fuel of hellfire so be careful and refrain from adultery
In islam when you reach puberty and a suitable math is found the nikah should not be delayed, women are described as fruits if not plucked when ripe they will rott and fall. I hope everyone can learn from this, women are also described as the fuel of hellfire so be careful and refrain from adultery
Damn right brotherman. May Allah protect us from all evil women.
In islam when you reach puberty and a suitable math is found the nikah should not be delayed, women are described as fruits if not plucked when ripe they will rott and fall. I hope everyone can learn from this, women are also described as the fuel of hellfire so be careful and refrain from adultery
But why are you so curious about the "used" girls?
This is a serious and private matter. It is between Allah and the girl only. Perhaps down the road a good guy will come for her rishta and she will also come clean with him about her past.
But it stops there -- it's not her family's business, not her friends' and not yours. Unless, of course, you're thinking about commiting zina. Are you? And if not, Y ru so interested?
I think it reflects poorly on *your *morals to call these girls "used", discarded or stupid. Sex is a human issue that many girls (smart and stupid) deal with before marriage, especially if the girl has been delaying marriage to focus on her career as we do so often here in the USA. Who are you to judge if you haven't been in that situation?
I am very thankful that I didn't give into this kind temptation before my marriage mA. I hope any girl who did face this problem overcomes it with God's help and makes a match as good as mine.
