SO i have come across many girls have happened to be unmarried and are past the age. They have elderly parent or parents and for them taking care of the parent has become “the” job. Perhaps that gives more meaning to their lives. They accompany the parent everywhere, specially to the doctor ofice and assume all responsibility of care and decision making, which often interferes in proper care. i dunno how can these be rehabilitated.
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
How does assuming all responsibility of care and decision interfere in "proper care"?
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
Sounds like someone has put different pieces of different puzzles together.
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
God had a purpose for everyone (I believe). That is great that they take care of their parents. Nothing wrong in that
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
whats of age?
jeez!! there are so many assumptions in that little blurb
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
yes,it's good that they take care of their parents,but,one can do that even after getting married.So,I think one shouldn't reject to get married just because of that.
SO i have come across many girls have happened to be unmarried and are past the age. They have elderly parent or parents and for them taking care of the parent has become "the" job. Perhaps that gives more meaning to their lives. They accompany the parent everywhere, specially to the doctor ofice and assume all responsibility of care and decision making, which often interferes in proper care. i dunno how can these be rehabilitated.
I think If boys stop being an a$$, and consider marrying a girl who is few year older then them, We would not have that issue any more.
But our society always look for just-out-of-hatchery-ready-to-breed-chicks.
I think a girl who had seen other/tough side of the life can make much batter wife/mother etc.. etc..
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
'syndrome'...???
SO i have come across many girls have happened to be unmarried and are past the age. They have elderly parent or parents and for them taking care of the parent has become "the" job. Perhaps that gives more meaning to their lives. They accompany the parent everywhere, specially to the doctor ofice and assume all responsibility of care and decision making, which often interferes in proper care. i dunno how can these be rehabilitated.
Being married is not end all be all of life, there are many unmarried people who have more meaning to their life than millions of married people.
they are doing what any good offspring would do for their elderly parents, and if they are engaged, askign tough questions then they are doing it out of concern. in teh end decisin making is with the patient, and if the parents are fine with the daughter making the decisions then it really ought to be no one's issue. parents make decisions for children, and children make decisions for parents or help them make decisons later.
Elderly parents in many cases get overwhelmed with info and conflicting options and want. They trust that their child is more current, can help cut through confusion, investigate details and suggest the right alternative or approach based on those available to them or suggested to them. To them whether they make the decision or someone they trust makes the decision or helps them make the decision.
Now had the girl been pursuing some high flyign career in tokyo or partying in ibiza we would have something else to say about how they have abandoned elderly parents who need their help.
There is no rehab needed..not atleast for those girls.
How does assuming all responsibility of care and decision interfere in "proper care"?
May be i could not explain myself well.
These girls make all decisons on part of the parent, and none from rest of family can challenge them coz afterall, its only them that are there forthe old man/woman.
Now these decisions are not always in best interest of the parent. Examples, have a guy who has become bedridden, the daughter does not want doctors to investigate the cause, she prefers him all dependant upon her. Another, an elderly woman who has multiple problems, on ventilator for years, with virtually no hope for any recovery, kind of like schiavo case, but daughter wants her alive by all means. Third, a woman who has renal problem that can be corrected by operation but somehow the daughter does not want it.
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
^^ you mean to say that only unmarried daughters can do so and not married daughters or sons...??
its a bit too presumptive IMO...
In the schiavo case there was no unmarried daughter wanting to keep the patient on life support...
May be i could not explain myself well.
These girls make all decisons on part of the parent, and none from rest of family can challenge them coz afterall, its only them that are there forthe old man/woman.
Now these decisions are not always in best interest of the parent. Examples, have a guy who has become bedridden, the daughter does not want doctors to investigate the cause, she prefers him all dependant upon her. Another, an elderly woman who has multiple problems, on ventilator for years, with virtually no hope for any recovery, kind of like schiavo case, but daughter wants her alive by all means. Third, a woman who has renal problem that can be corrected by operation but somehow the daughter does not want it.
tell me how would that be any different if one has a living will? or is incapacitated and has identified one person to make the decisions?
now whether you like or dislike the decision, in teh end its the patient or their appointed person
sometimes people dont liek invasive procedures, and would rather deal with some other solution, sometimes funding is an issue. there are many preferences and contraints that exist.
and this situation is not limited to single girls taking care of elderly parents, married guys or girls taking care of their parents would do what they thought would be parents preference and in the parents best interest.
May be i could not explain myself well.
These girls make all decisons on part of the parent, and none from rest of family can challenge them coz afterall, its only them that are there forthe old man/woman.
Now these decisions are not always in best interest of the parent. Examples, have a guy who has become bedridden, the daughter does not want doctors to investigate the cause, she prefers him all dependant upon her. Another, an elderly woman who has multiple problems, on ventilator for years, with virtually no hope for any recovery, kind of like schiavo case, but daughter wants her alive by all means. Third, a woman who has renal problem that can be corrected by operation but somehow the daughter does not want it.
I think someone who takes care of their elderly parents or in laws (not just monetarily but by living under one roof, taking them to the doctors, caring for their needs every day is probably the BEST person to make those decisions.
That person could be married or unmarried. That part doesn't make sense.
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
X2, have you heard about Munchausens by proxy?
In my experience its something similar but the roles are reversed that is the child being the caregiver of teh parent.
X2, have you heard about Munchausens by proxy? In my experience its something similar but the roles are reversed that is the child being the caregiver of teh parent.
but are all parents that way? no
so are all children providing care that way? no
could a small minority be such that this applies to them, but then they dont have to be unmarried and single, and that whole "meaning to life" goes out teh window.
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
^Ofcourse not all. just the type i am describing.
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
Okay so you're saying because they aren't married, they want to feel needed and useful (because obviously purpose of life is marriage, right) and they satisfy themselves by making decisions that slow down their parents' recovery?
You certainly have a funny way of looking at things, more specifically unmarried women.
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
Prescribe them some Prozac.
An elderly women went to a doctor and said " I have this problem I keep passing gas all day but luckily it does not smell"
Doctor wrote a prescription and gave to her
She asked "will it cure my gas problem "
Doctor said “No but it will clear your clogged sinuses”
So here you go sometimes you have to treat the real problem. 
Okay so you're saying because they aren't married, they want to feel needed and useful (because obviously purpose of life is marriage, right) and they satisfy themselves by making decisions that slow down their parents' recovery?
You certainly have a funny way of looking at things, more specifically unmarried women.
i have nothing against unmarried women, i respect and value the fact that they take care of the elderly parents from which many kids shy away, but, if the purpose of taking care is self-need and harms the care-receiver then it is wrong.
Re: The Unmarried Girl Syndrome
Mirch - i wish i cud