Re: The Truth About Why Men Cheat
All of the above shown comments are fodder for many individual threads Amir saheb.
To suggest that women are "most affected" by cheating is rubbish. This would suggest that men are not and I would assure you that men are affected.....more so than women are.....both in short term and long term.
I was referring to the case of man cheating on women, (as the thread implies), and I still do belive in this case women are more affected since men are the stronger sex and who also have less social expecations and pressures than women. Also hope you agree from real-life stats, how in Pakistani-muslim societies it is much easier for a man to divorce his cheating partner and marry a new one, than for a women.
To suggest that "it is not mens' entire fault why they go round two-timing" is also rubbish. No matter what happens in the world, a man/woman is responsible for their own actions. To lay blame on some outside person/force for one's own sins is ridiculous.
Even if women did not practice strict obedience to Allah's rules, it would not give men the right to disobey them.
Although men and women are both required to control and tame thier 'nafs', I hope you understand even though in the koran Allah emphasises in many places the strong potential, physical and spiritual nature of man, his strong will and persevring power, which correspondigly was proven by the ideal 'men' of that time who strived in Allahs path, waged war and jihad in Allahs cause, sacrificed thier limbs, thier family, thier property, thier lives, overthrowing the era's unbreakable 400 year long roman and byzantines empires stand, spreading Islam from easts to West, in a matter of a mere Decade.- Such pious and strong men.
But look how for even these such strong natured, ever capable men, Allah has wrote in the koran not in one but many place how he has created them 'Weak in respect to women'.
By **weak **Allah means, having a very high and vulnerbale tendency towards women. This is mans Mans nature Muzna. women are not the same as men. Everybody would love to control, easier said than done.
If you just have a quick look at the hadiths I posted in my above posts you will get a glimpse of how uncontrollble these urges were even for these most best and strongest of men- and get what exactly I mean.
Likewise, to help men stop falling prey to the high urges he purposly created in them, he ordered for them lower thier gazes, and the women to cover up. i.e a team thing.
For example, Muzna, say if you had a shop, a normal corner shop. A lot and all types of people come to your shop. People come to that shop because they like the things there. Now you are always present at the till keeping a watch at the shop and the customers. Now in the state you live in it is a crimiminal offense to steal. Lets say because of this apparent law, you get lax and decide to abandon the shop. On returning you see some goods are missing. i,e your shop was looted. Now Ofcourse the blame lies with the customer who did the crime.
But honestly tell me would you not also be at some blame for leaving your property vulnerabale and unattended like that infront of people. I think you would.
Similarly your self-your beauty as a girl is your property which you must take all steps to guard, from people that you know have a likeing/need for it.
If a girl goes round dressing in a provokative way and somone duely gets provoked and tries on her, she is also to blame.
I did not mean to discredit women or take mens side by saying 'its not entirely mens fault'. I meant it in the way to say women should also try from thier side not to show/give those features that men could be attracted by.
You need to understand the nature of men to understand where im coming from. For example, I have seen 'SCHOLARS' , and yes **elderly **scholars on Islamic Channels, giving speeches where they were educating people by giving examples of themselves how even they felt attracted by western women and their exhibitionist 'bikinis/thongs get-ups' on seaside venues and TV, and how the ladies need to cover up.
One last example- all you girls know how bad it is too gossip, but do you stop> no, even the most pious of u cant and never will - cos its a strong innate nature of yours to speak about things.. Similarly,Most Men know that its dissallowed for them to look at women, but they still do it because they they have a strong urge for it, and dont see any apparent harm in it.
I know we shouldnt, and many of us dont, but it would honestly make the whole thing a lot easier if ladies also cooperated as willed by Allah.
Ok im not going to speak more on this. This is enough, hope you get it.
There is so much more that could be said but you seem to get lost when I write so I will let you work with this for now.....
I made a large effort above in clarifying myself.