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Why is it some people’ feel the need to ask you your salary and how can one “politely” refuse to answer !
Today a colleague who just joined and whom I had a convo with for the first time in 2 weeks since she joined ( so basically a complete stranger ) asks me so what are they paying you ?
When I tried to politely avoid giving her an answer she goes "No i’m asking whats the Net Salary you are offered ? " Now it particularly becomes awkward when you are getting more than the other person and you feel even more uneasy disclosing a figure.
Why can’t some people get it that its none of their business and no they do NOT have the right to know everything about you !!!**
Then she will go and tell the HR department that since so and so is getting this much , she deserves to get that much too.
Yea I am sick and tired of desi nosiness .
Even a desii store wali asked my wife chupkay say , “what does your husband do for living ?” Is it her business.
Then bhabi of my best friend and then a desi neighbor asked my wife “Apkay mian key tankha kitnee hay ?”
My wife does not work so they do not ask her as to how much she makes , but they want to know my salary. Why o why ?
When I am asked by someone at work I just say "I dont discuss salary unless discussion is about raise" :)
When asked by relatives etc, I just say "AKS hai acha salary hai"
I dont know why people ask this question. Even my parents have never asked this question (ok other then when I got first part-time job during my studies).
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Why is it some people' feel the need to ask you your salary and how can one "politely" refuse to answer !
Today a colleague who just joined and whom I had a convo with for the first time in 2 weeks since she joined ( so basically a complete stranger ) asks me so what are they paying you ?
When I tried to politely avoid giving her an answer she goes "No i'm asking whats the Net Salary you are offered ? " Now it particularly becomes awkward when you are getting more than the other person and you feel even more uneasy disclosing a figure.
Why can't some people get it that its none of their business and no they do NOT have the right to know everything about you !!!!**
some people stop asking after a polite no but i have had this exerpeience k kuch log peechay hi par jatay hein aor sharminda b nahi hotay. feels very awkward.
Salary is a personal matter but colleagues usually know the salaries of each other. HR is to blame here. Someone asked me my salary and I said bhai I dont answer such questions so he goes like o mujhay tu pata hai, i just wanted to hear it from you. and I was like weirdo!
A professional HR will not tell you salary of others and would discourage you to go and tell yours to others too. I do not know where such thing can be tolerated , in US , that HR person who would divulge the salary of one employee to other will be fired.
I feel shy about answering such questions for the same reasons (not to make others feel bad or envious) but I find it equally gentle manners to answer someone if they question something whatever it be. Feels like dishonesty and rudeness of I lie or dont answer. Comeon Im not Bill Gates after all
To refuse in a work situation:
"I'm sorry it's against work policy to discuss salaries except with HR and line manager"
To refuse in a domestic situation:
"Bass guzaara ho jata hai, Alhumdulillah"
If they insist in a domestic situation say:
"oh choro dunya ke baaten ... tum batao ... xyz, etc " and change the subject
If they remind you again, say:
"Pata kya main yaad nahein kar pa rahee, mujhe dekhna parre ga" basically delay and delay ... if someone asks about the husband say ...
"Thaero mein abhi unse poochtee hoon and start to call him up ... oho phone nahein milraha ..." then say "waesey aap ki tankha kitnee hai aur Aap ke husband ki kitnee hai?"
If you have unfortunately somehow told the information that the other party was seeking and they say
"Mere husband ki tankha (itnee) hai" to taunt you about them earning more then say ...
"Waese pata nahein lagta - shaid aap ki rizq mein barkat nahein hai" or
"Acha? phir to main aap se peyse manga karoon gi jab humare khatam ho jate hein ... then laugh!"
If you are afraid that they will get jealous at the high amount you earn then tell them the amount after taxes, if it still too high then tell them the amount after bills ... These are not outright lies - but they are measures to take to protect the interests of both parties.
Psyah you would have been the last person whom I’d have thought of who would have come up with those lines
The problem in desi society as opposed to the West is that there is NO concept of HR Policies !!! So U are put in an awkward position of twisting the truth in order to not quote a figure…they actually DEMAND to know and make you feel awkward if you hedge ***
weirdo!
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