The ruling of seeking approval of the woman for her marriage

Society Religion & Philosophy
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**The ruling of seeking approval of the woman for her marriage **

The conditions in which a woman is married, then she will be in one condition from amongst these three conditions:

  1. Either she will be a young virgin girl who has not reached the age of puberty and who has never been married.
  2. Or she will be a virgin who has reached the age of puberty who has never been married.
  3. Or she will be one who has been married before.

And for each is a separate ruling.

  1. About a young virgin girl who has not yet attained the age of puberty then there is no ikhtilaaf(difference) among the scholars that the father has the right to get her married without her permission, because there is no meaning in asking of the permission from a young child.

Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) married his daughter Aaisha (may Allah be pleased with her) to the Messenger (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) when she was just six years old and he (may Allah be pleased with him) sent her to the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) when she was 9 years old. (Narrated by Imaam Bukhari and Muslim)

Imam Shawkaanee (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Nainul Awtaar v.6 p.128-129: “The mentioned hadeeth is a proof that a father has full authority to marry his daughter who has not reached the age of puberty without her permission.” And he also writes, “This hadeeth also proves that a young girl can be married to an older man. Imaam Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) has named a chapter in his saheeh on this same issue, and under this chapter he narrated the same hadeeth about Aaisha (may Allah be pleased with her). Haffidh ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) has related an ijmaa’ (agreement) (of the scholars) in his book Fathhul Baari about this issue.”

Allamah ibn Qudaamah (may Allah have mercy on him) writes in al-Mughni that allamah ibn Mundir states that all of the people of knowledge from whom we have taken knowledge have an ijmaa’ (agreement) on this issue that a father can marry his young daughter who has not yet reached the age of puberty ( without her consent ) on the condition that he has kept in mind the suitability and compatibility of the marriage.

I (i.e Shaykh Fawzaan) say, that marrying Aaisha to Messenger by Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) at the age when she was just six is a refutation upon those people who deny or dislike the marraying of young girls to older men. And on the basis of ignorance of the Book and the Sunnah they try to portray it in as something evil and wrong.

  1. About a virgin girl or woman who has attained the age of puberty, she cannot be married off except with her approval, and her silence will be considered as approval, because of saying of the messenger: “A virgin girl cannot be married except with her permission.” So it was said, “and how is her approval?” he (saw) said: “ her silence.” (Bukhari & Muslim). Accordingly with the people of knowledge it is agreed that it is necessary to ask for permission from a woman who has reached the age of puberty, even if the one who is marrying her off is her own father.

Allahmah ibnul Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) says in al-Hudaa an-Nabawi v.5 p.96: “The majority of the salaf and Imaam Abu Haneefah and Imaam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on all of them) have the same saying according to one narration, and this is what is preferred.” because this is what coincides with the commands and prohibitions of the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him).

  1. About a woman who has been previously married, the same ruling applies that her approval is necessary for her to be married but the difference is that her approval must be explicit and clear in words “yes” or “no” as against a virgin girl or woman whose silence will be considered as a “yes”. It is mentioned in al-Mughni v.6 p.493, “We do not know of any ikhtilaaf (diffence) among the people of knowledge in this issue, that the woman who has already been married must express her consent in explicit words because there are clear ahaadeeth and also because the tongue brings out what is in the heart, and this has come in everyplace where an approval is needed."

Shaykhul Islaam ibn Taymiyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) says in Majmoo’ al-Fataawaa v.32 p.39-40, “No person has the right that he gets a woman married without her permission. This is what has been taught by the Messenger of Allah (saw). If a woman does not want to marry any person she cannot be coerced into marrying him, but a young girl who has not reached the age of puberty can be married by her father without her consent. But one who was already married cannot be married off without her permission; not by her father and not by other than him, and the Muslims have united upon this. Similarly a virgin girl or woman who has attained the age of puberty cannot be married off without her consent except by her father or grandfather. There is an agreement of Muslims on this as well. And the father and grandfather should also seek her approval. But there is a difference of opinion about this hukm (command) whether it is waajib (mandatory) or mustahab (preferable). And the correct saying is that to seek her consent is waajib (mandatory) on both of them as well. The one in authority (i.e. the father) when taking in account the man whom he is marring his daughter to must consider the fear of Allah and Taqwa as it is a must to take into consideration if that person will be compatible with his daughter. He must keep in mind the benefits that her daughter will achieve and marrying her off because of them. And he must be careful not to marry her off because of personal benefits that he may receive.”

Source: Shaikh Saalih Fawzaan

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Re: The ruling of seeking approval of the woman for her marriage

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sadiyah:
*I (i.e Shaykh Fawzaan) say, that marrying Aaisha to Messenger by Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with him) at the age when she was just six is a refutation upon those people who deny or dislike the marraying of young girls to older men. And on the basis of ignorance of the Book and the Sunnah they try to portray it in as something evil and wrong.

[/QUOTE]

Surely there is no defense in any religion for marrying a six year old girl??? There are laws against that in the civilised world these days !

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THATS INTERESTING

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Did you know that this "source of great Islamic knowledge" also advocates slavery as 'part of Islam', wants to ban the marriage of Arab women to non-Arab Muslims, says that most Muslims are polytheists, and their blood and money are free for the taking by "true Muslims", and threatens to behead Saudi writers who dare to criticize his Wahhabi interpretation? What is truly sad is that this extremist hate-monger has positions of authority and even writes textbooks in SA.

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Can we have some proof, for all your allegations especially this one please since Arab women are quite.. :yummy:

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How does the marriage of Aisha(ra) to Muhammed :saw: prove that it is allowed to marry under age girls without their consent? Did Aisha(ra) ever refuse to marry our Prophet :saw: ? How did you get the idea that her marriage with RasoolAllah :saw: was forced? :confused:

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The first case concerns me, because no evidence from the sources is given in its favour despite the Hadith
Both the bride and groom should be pleased with one another, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No previously-married woman (widow or divorcee) may be married until she has been asked about her wishes (i.e., she should state clearly her wishes), and **no virgin should be married until her permission has been asked* (i.e., until she has agreed either in words or by remaining silent).” They asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, how is her permission given (because she will feel very shy)?” He said: “By her silence.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4741)*

That first case appears to overrule this Hadith on account of age without giving a single source or precedent - other than the claim that most scholars maintain that permission in not needed.

I've personally seen to many conflicting claims, always without evidence, by scholars that their particular view is held by "most scholars" on a particular issue.

Even if the claim was true, surely ijma, consensus amongst scholars, cannot possible be allowed to overrule the Sunnah? In the absence of evidence from the Sunnah stating that there any any exceptions from the Sunnah rule that a virgin's permission must be sought, how can Man go around creating exceptions?

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People claiming about in prophet(saw) time youngsters where too young to marry etc Back in the dayz people was working and earning living doing very had labout work at age of 7,8, 9 etc they was very more mature than today where if you vist average household in west today even young men aged 24 and above are like 5 year old kids not doing no job and sitting in front of TV or playing computer games!

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I'll try to find something based on Quran and Sunnah for the first case, insha'Allah. I must also add that many of the opinions that I have read/heard of permit it. Nonetheless, I'll try to look into it, insha'Allah.

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Seminole: *
Did you know that this "source of great Islamic knowledge" also advocates slavery as 'part of Islam', wants to ban the marriage of Arab women to non-Arab Muslims, says that most Muslims are polytheists, and their blood and money are free for the taking by "true Muslims", and threatens to behead Saudi writers who dare to criticize his Wahhabi interpretation? What is truly sad is that this extremist hate-monger has positions of authority and even writes textbooks in SA.
[/QUOTE]

Cow... horse... goat... no, probably BS!

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*hazrat mohammed-e-mustapha :saw: married hazrat ayesha sadiqa :razi2: when she was 6 years old BUT she :razi2: started living with the holy prophet :saw: @ 9 years of age.

a point to be noted here for all those “civilised ppl” who see this marriage as wrong, that in arabia 14 hundered years ago it was the custom for girls to marry young, hazrat ayesha sadiqa :razi2: weren’t the 1st women to marry @ their tender age OR marry someone a lot senior age wise.

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I found the following verse as well as it’s tafsir which makes it quite clear that marriage to an immature girl isn’t something against Islam.

May Allah (SWT) forgive me if I’m wrong.

Following is it’s tafsir:

The `Iddah of Those in Menopause and Those Who do not have Menses

Allah the Exalted clarifies the waiting period of the woman in menopause. And that is the one whose menstruation has stopped due to her older age. Her Iddah is three months instead of the three monthly cycles for those who menstruate, which is based upon the Ayah in (Surat) Al-Baqarah. [see 2:228] The same for the young, who have not reached the years of menstruation. Their Iddah is three months like those in menopause. This is the meaning of His saying;

æóÇááøóÜÊöí áóãú íóÍöÖúäó]

(and for those who have no courses…) as for His saying;

Åöäö ÇÑúÊóÈúÊõãú]

(if you have doubt…) There are two opinions: First, is the saying of a group of the Salaf, like Mujahid, Az-Zuhri and Ibn Zayd. That is, if they see blood and there is doubt if it was menstrual blood or not. The second, is that if you do not know the ruling in this case, then know that their Iddah is three months. This has been reported from Said bin Jubayr and it is the view preferred by Ibn Jarir. And this is the more obvious meaning. Supporting this view is what is reported from Ubay bin Ka`b that he said, "O Allah’s Messenger! Some women were not mentioned in the Qur’an, the young, the old and the pregnant.‘’ Allah the Exalted and Most Honored sent down this Ayah,

æóÇááÇøóÆöì íóÆöÓúäó ãöäó ÇáúãóÍöíÖö ãöä äøöÓóÂÆößõãú Åöäö ÇÑúÊóÈúÊõãú ÝóÚöÏøóÊõåõäøó ËóáóÜËóÉõ ÃóÔúåõÑò æóÇááøóÜÊöí áóãú íóÍöÖúäó æóÃõæúáóÜÊõ ÇáÇøñÍúãóÇáö ÃóÌóáõåõäøó Ãóä íóÖóÚúäó Íóãúáóåõäøó]

(Those in menopause among your women, for them the Iddah, if you have doubt, is three months; and for those who have no courses. And for those who are pregnant, their Iddah is until they lay down their burden.) Ibn Abi Hatim recorded a simpler narration than this one from Ubay bin Kab who said, "O Allah's Messenger! When the Ayah in Surat Al-Baqarah was revealed prescribing the Iddah of divorce, some people in Al-Madinah said, There are still some women whose Iddah has not been mentioned in the Qur’an. There are the young, the old whose menstruation is discontinued, and the pregnant.’ Later on, this Ayah was revealed,

æóÇááÇøóÆöì íóÆöÓúäó ãöäó ÇáúãóÍöíÖö ãöä äøöÓóÂÆößõãú Åöäö ÇÑúÊóÈúÊõãú ÝóÚöÏøóÊõåõäøó ËóáóÜËóÉõ ÃóÔúåõÑò æóÇááøóÜÊöí áóãú íóÍöÖúäó]

(Those in menopause among your women, for them the `Iddah, if you have doubt, is three months; and for those who have no courses.)‘’

Source: http://www.tafsir.com/default.asp?sid=65&tid=54196

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sadiyah: *
I found the following verse as well as it's tafsir which makes it quite clear that marriage to an immature girl isn't something against Islam.

[/QUOTE]
Keeping slaves is not against Islam either, so what is your point. Are you proposing that girls should get married before they are even physically and biologically mature?

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Re: Re: The ruling of seeking approval of the woman for her marriage

Was Ayesha A Six-Year-Old Bride?- The Ancient Myth Exposed

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Wouldnt the girl have the choice (when she becomes 'mature') whether to accept the marriage or not. Since her consent is a requirement.

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Faisal, I'm not proposing anything. Many questioned it, so I asked a friend of mine. Also, he did say that when the girl matures she has the right to either keep the marriage contract or nullify it.

M, yes, she will have the choice and Allah (SWT) Knows Best.

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[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Sadiyah: *
**Faisal*, I'm not proposing anything. Many questioned it, so I asked a friend of mine. Also, he did say that when the girl matures she has the right to either keep the marriage contract or nullify it.
[/QUOTE]
I am sure someone else can post another long fatwa that slavery is permitted in Islam. But in my mind thats a moot point in the current times. Yes, so it was permitted, but it is neither practiced these days nor should be brought up or encouraged. Similarly in this case.

If someone really believes that in this day and age, a biologically immature girl should be married off without her consent, and that is fine, cz she can reconsider her consent when she is mature, please stand up and make your point.

Otherwise this is just rhetorical verbal gymnastics.

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That’s so true, an example which comes to mind is 'Amr Bin Salamah :razi: used to lead the people in Prayer as an Imam at the age of six and there’s countless other examples.

You just cannot judge another society by your owns standards, young marriages were perfectly acceptable during those times.

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I don’t see why the Kuffaar and Munaafiqeen are getting all worked up about this.

I don’t see anything wrong with marrying off prepubescent girls or not asking their permission.

My question is, regardless of what age the marriage ceremony is performed do the parents have to wait till the girl has reached puberty before they give her away to her husband for the marriage to be consummated? Or before the husband is allowed to consumate the marriage?

Second question, is she allowed to annul/khula (yes you Kuffaar and Munaafiqeen the so called backward religion of Islam gives women the right to annul/obliterate their marriage without any reason) her marriage upon reaching puberty before it is consummated?

If the answer to the above two questions is yes then I don’t see what anyone’s problem is. Even if the answer(s) is/are "no" I hear and submit.

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[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Naadir: *

I don’t see anything wrong with marrying off prepubescent girls or not asking their permission.

My question is, regardless of what age the marriage ceremony is performed do the parents have to wait till the girl has reached puberty before they give her away to her husband for the marriage to be consummated? Or before the husband is allowed to consumate the marriage?

Second question, is she allowed to annul/khula (yes you Kuffaar and Munaafiqeen the so called backward religion of Islam gives women the right to annul/obliterate their marriage without any reason) her marriage upon reaching puberty before it is consummated?

If the answer to the above two questions is yes then I don’t see what anyone’s problem is. Even if the answer(s) is/are "no" I hear and submit.
[/QUOTE]

So you are saying that you will allow your daughter to be married at the age of 9 (age of puberty) and then at the age of 16 if she want khula you will be happy for for her ??????????????