bongiyaan na mar yarr. I know ure hurt someone converted to Islam but you dont have to come out here and ruin it with your tattle tales Mr. Gesto.
Inshallah all of you are in the best state of health and Imaan once you are reading this.
I've been requested by some members to tell why I decided to become a Muslim, what were my motives and what was my life like as a kaffir, so now I'm making a thread on it. It's not easy as I feel this is a very personal thing, something between Allah SWT and me, however maybe it can inspire others and help them with their own faith.
I live in Germany, I also own a German passport, but ethnically I'm Indian I was even born in India. I came to Germany almost 21 years ago. I should also mention I'm adopted, my parents are German, so I didn't have any affiliation or connection to Desi culture(it came after my conversion). I was a Roman Catholic, my baptism had also taken place in India. My German parents even gave me an Indian name.
Anyways the first few years of my life were quite normal, I hardly recall them, I had my Communion at the age of 9, we attended church at times(mostly on holidays), my parents never forced me to pray or to read the Bible(we don't even have one), the only religious person which I can remember was my maternal grandmother, she was quite into Catholicism and would always make me say a prayer before we had lunch at her place.
So my life was quite normal, except for some discrimination from narrow-minded people who couldn't understand why white people chose to adopt a kid from a so-called third world country.
Everything changed when I turned 10 years old. Sab kuch. My mom became ill, she was diagnosed with cancer, it was a brain tumour and believe me guys back in 1999 they didn't have all the means to make a succesful surgery. I remember the day she had been admitted to hospital so clearly because it was the first day in my life as a child where I sincerely begged God to please make my mommy healthy again. I was lying in my bed at night and cried out, I just couldn't stand the thought of her being in a hospital surrounded by strangers and me all alone at home waiting for her return. She underwent surgery once and we all thought she was going to recover, she was quite normal and did normal things, yes she had lost her hair because of the ray treatment but still she was fine. Afterall she was my mom she would surely get better. However she had to go for regular checks and they told her that the tumour was still too big, they hadn't been able to remove everything she had to underwent surgery for a second time. That time things were different. She wasn't acting normal anymore, she would forget things within 5 minutes, she wouldn't eat on her own or go to the bathroom on her own, she had to be constantly reminded of it. My dad and I were lost. So then the doctors gave one final statement and that was "We are sorry, but we cannot help you anymore, there's nothing more we can do", OK I had felt it creeping inside of me...Now it was determined mom was going to die it was just a matter of time. My aunt(khala) desperately tried everything to safe her youngest sister, one more stay at a special hospital for several weeks, my grandma was willing to do anything if it would only spare her child death. So my mom went there but logically nothing changed. It was the end of the year. My mom was at home, lying in a bed, couldn't do anything anymore, not talk normally, nothing, I barely went in to see her, sometimes I saw her or tried talking to her in her language, in that weird way she was talking. She was on morphine. My birthday was approaching. I'm supposedly born on the 31st December(no one of my folks in India had notified my birth). I wasn't celebrating. I was just sitting there and waiting. People were so mad about 2000 approaching I wasn't. I went to bed before the big fireworks and woke up at 6AM. Then my dad came into my room, he said "I'm sorry, I don't know if you realised that your mother passed away this night". I didn't feel any pain. I felt relief, I thought at least now she need not suffer anymore the way she had to before. My family was in pain and I "coped" with it, the way an 11 year old could cope with it. I didn't cry, not once did I cry. I wanted to be strong for everyone else they shouldn't be burdened with my feelings.
One thing changed and that was my attitude towards religion. I hated God, I had become so upset at Him. How could he dare let my mother die after I had BEGGED him to make her healthy again? I refused to continue my work as an altar servant, I refused church visits, I refused wearing crosses. I found comfort in false friends, cigarettes, rebellion and at times alcohol(at partys). Whenever I had religion class I'd tell the teacher how ridiculous religious people were. I lived like that for 5 years, until I became 16. I had suicidal thoughts, I didn't want to continue this life because I didn't see any reason or meaning in it. However I realised something was lacking, deep inside of me there was a feeling craving for a connection to something to someone greater than anything else. So I decided to go for Confirmation classes, I thought it could revive my broken faith in Christianity, but it only confused me more. We were taught about the trinity and that concept didn't make any sense to me at all "How could God be one and at the same time be 3 different things? Holy Spirit, Son, Father and all of those 3 are connected and are one?" To whom did Jesus AS pray while he was on the cross(supposedly)? To himself? I had my confirmation but I buried my faith in Christianity for good.
I felt depressed but I was keen on continuing my search so I thought why shouldn't I take a look into the Indian philosophies of Buddhism and especially Hinduism? I liked the idea of getting to know my homeland more and more. I even made a presentation on Hinduism in my religion class and everyone liked it. However there was still something missing, I didn't like the aspect of idolatry, I liked the idea of not being sad when someone died, but at the same time I didn't feel at ease with the aspect of rebirth, I felt we only had one life to live, plus there was NO connection to God and I longed for that so badly.
**So then it was in 2006 when I came across a discussion at a movie forum. It was about the aspect of trinity and there was a Muslim guy explaining his opinion about it. I liked his way of dealing with all haters how he remained nice and calm all time, so I decided why not PM him and ask him some short questions about Islam? He answered them but I felt I wanted to know more. So he gave me his MSN addy and we started chatting. I asked everything I had always wanted to know about Islam. All I knew was they believed in a God named Allah SWT, a prophet named Muhammad SAW and their book is known as Qu'ran. I knew of Ramazan and of the 5 daily prayers. I thought women were opressed, why else would they be expected to wear a headscarf? No one else was doing it. That guy actually asked for my real address and promised to send me the Qu'ran in my language. I didn't believe it.
So while we were chatting he would always explain to me the belief of Islam. One God, He is almighty, He is unique. Whatever He wills is going to happen. We come from Him we have to return to Him. Death is nothing bad, we have to accept it, there is no need to cry, people don't belong to us they belong to Allah SWT. Sometimes things happen which we don't understand, but someday we realise why it was best for them to happen. He taught me about Muhammad SAW the messenger of God, the last of the prophets, who came with this beautiful message to people who had no purpose in life similar to me. How Hazrat Muhammad SAW had struggled and how he had manifested the Imaan of those people by showing good behaviour and actions. Alhamdulillah. The only thing we need is to worship Allah SWT, it is our reason to be here on this earth, good actions will bring you hasanat insha'Allah. Those ayat in the Qu'ran, even in their translation they sounded so beautiful they filled me with tears and joy. Everything I had ever been searching for was right in front of me in this Holy Book. I finally felt there was the connection I had been searching for all my life long, I felt Allah SWT had called me to Him, I felt I was coming home. After all those years where I had been ridden by doubt and pain. Where I had been lost. I was coming home to my Rab. Alhamdulillah. Allah SWT chose this deen for me, I couldn't do anything else but accepting it, He put Imaan into my heart, He filled it with Islam and He gave me Hidayah. Subhan'Allah. I will NEVER be able to repay Him. I cannot do anything to show him how grateful I am to be a Muslimah. I try my best, but the gift of Islam can never be compensated with anything else in this world. I reverted to Islam and my Qu'ran arrived one day afterwards.**
I kept my Islamic life secret. Once I had started to visit my new school I decided to wear hijaab, secretly. I felt terrible whenever I took it off once I left home with my father. During Ramazan one of my former classmates saw me wearing the headscarf, she was Turkish, Muslim, also a hijaabi. She saw me and merely asked me why I chose to do this and I explained it. She ran home to her mother and told her everything she literally screamed "Mom do you remember this girl from school? She IS A MUSLIM" Her family was in shock. They didn't know what to say, but they felt it was a blessing to know someone who had been a kuffar and who had now found the truth. Their Imaan was revived. They helped me so much, gave me a book so I could learn to read Namazz, invited me during Ramazan. They were such a big support and still are amazed by this miracle and how they were blessed. Alhamdulillah. May Allah SWT grant all of them Jannat Firdous. Ameen.
Logically my father hates the whole idea of a Muslim daughter. He said if I had chosen to become a Hindu it would have been more reasonable for him as I am an Indian girl(Yeah people here don't know that there are Indian Muslims). I had so many fights about the hijaab and about Islam in general, inshallah someday he will understand why I chose this path.
Unlike other "German" reverts I don't get too many bad comments for my hijaab(some bigots and racists might say stuff at times I try not to bother too much with it), probably because I can pretend to be a Pakistani so it looks natural on me. Alhamdulillah. I'm still not perfect but inshallah, Allah SWT has NEVER EVER let me down, He is ALWAYS there. Mash'Allah. I'm thankful to Him each day of my life for everything He has done for me. He spared me a life in poverty in India, He spared me so many other things. Subhan'Allah.
GOSH my post was longer than I had intended I hope you guys did at least read the important parts of it :S...
Jazakallah khair for reading, may Allah SWT bless all of you. Ameen.
wow congrattulations, you are Lucky ..and inshaAllah u will get rewarded for your hardships you went thru, and are still going thru. to do sabr is what makes you and rest of us muslim at times of hardship.
oh and your arabic, i love it your a quick learner ..:)
may be that person never converted.
anyway i did support her until i realize few things about her other posts....
such as?
**
**
Highlighting a text says nothing about its veracity. I would like to know the exact wording of this hadith and the names of those who reported it.
I hope it does not turn out to be another figment of imagination.
It is ridiculous to assume that a person would actually be interviewed for conversion to Islam. And in Germany no less. Hello, we are not living in La La land.
Every one is entitled to his/her opinion. And no one gives a hoot to yours. But next time you are tempted to belittle the person you differ with without subtantiating your claims with facts, you should think again.
Truthfulness… Staircase to Heaven - IslamOnline.net - Living Sharia’h
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was asked: “Can a believer be a coward?” The Prophet said: “Yes.” He was then asked: “Can a believer be a miser?” He replied: “Yes.” And finally, he was asked: 'Can a believer be a liar?" The Prophet said: “No.” - Al-Muwatta, Volume 56, Hadith 19
Highlighting a text says nothing about its veracity. I would like to know the exact wording of this hadith and the names of those who reported it.
I hope it does not turn out to be another figment of imagination.
It is ridiculous to assume that a person would actually be interviewed for conversion to Islam. And in Germany no less. Hello, we are not living in La La land.
Every one is entitled to his/her opinion. And no one gives a hoot to yours. But next time you are tempted to belittle the person you differ with without subtantiating your claims with facts, you should think again.
And I don't give a hoot to yours. I don't even know you.
Re: The reason why I converted to Islam
^Haha now that you have no answer you are trying to back out.
I don't care what you say hareem01 but unfortunately you have made a joke of yourself. I am not the only one who has taken issues with your outrageous claims and your arrogant attititude.
I am still waiting for verification of the hadith you quoted.
*It seems like you made up a hadith. That is really really pathetic. *
No it does not liken lying to zina or sharab at all. I want to know the hadith that your friend hareem01 quoted. It looks like it was another figment of her imagination.
Also, now that you are here why don’t you enlighten us about your god given gift and finally answer Tayebbeh’s question.
Re: The reason why I converted to Islam
I think this thread has gone way beyond its usefulness.
I must say 'usual' or 'normal' people who convert to islam don't post a long story and more importantly continue to ask people to believe them so many times by giving some proves of knowing a language or so.
Like I said before, if someone converted to islam? So what?
So many do that. And so many do not even act on Islam.
*Its just that people are now becoming careful of those trying to tell others being (falsely) converted to Islam as this could be one way people try to harm muslims.
*
(People send fake e-mails in the muslim names and trying to lure people to go on to bad/porn sites.)
Conversion is a personal choice. At least I really don't think its something trying to tell the people on web or whole world about.
*Off course people on web and more importantly on a forum will never be able to find your true identity and your truth. And they should not automatically agree.
*
This is not about getting remarks of 'Ma'ShaAllah", JazakAllah or other word of praises.
Just be happy with your choices and act on your new religion.
Its between the person and Allah/Almighty.
Please remember, its your act on the religion what counts, not trying to tell others what you did or trying to make others to believe on your conversion.
The moment anyone converts, the information is sent to who most likely to know, that is Almighty.
Conversion to religion also has so many reasons and backgrounds, none really helps others to learn. It just happens at the right moment when mind accepts something being good.
RV: there was no need to get so emotional but I appreciated the wordings. You tube I think was used as an example, at least the person is seen and heard and can be identified or tracked.
OP could have easily backed out or asked moderators to close the thread way before.
It did not serve any useful purpose to keep this thread open.
^ Diwanay Sahib,
I wasn't being "emotional"....as you so assumed. Sarcastic...yes...but emotional...no.
If you haven't been in one's shoes.....it's not always easy to say with such certainty what is "normal" and what isn't.
There are many people on GS who like to share aspects of their personal life......sometimes to get advice/opinions........and sometimes simply for the sake of sharing with others an event in their life that has emotional meaning for them (be it a birthday, a wedding, getting a new job, buying a house/car, being in love, having a crush on someone, and yes even.... conversion).
I have read accounts of people's conversions. What is so abnormal about that? For us **who were born into Muslim families........being Muslim might be something we take for granted......or something we don't think about......like breathing or blinking our eyes. But for one who converted from another religion......it is a **BIGGER **deal. We don't know what the emotional experience is like for her because we ourselves have never been through this. For someone who was going through **emotional turmoil........for someone who went for a long time without faith.........and then found peace in a religion.......for such an individual the conversion could be an experience of elation.....something they want to share.
Believe it or not......people do share their joys and moving experiences for the sake of just sharing. We human beings do have the need to express ourselves.
Why is it that we don't have a problem with a Muslim who creates a thread on some miracle found in the Quran or some recent scientific discovery confirmed by Islam???.............In such situations we say, "MashaAllah".............because it confirms our faith and pride in Islam...............BUT............when someone decides to share a story of how they converted to Islam because they found truth in the religion..........................we criticize it????????????? WTH??????????? Oh the double standards.
Not that I lived during the time of the Prohpet SAWS. But I'm trying to imagine things from that time period. I imagine that it must have been difficult for him to educate people about Islam who were blindly following the Jahil ways of their forefathers. And some of those people converted to Islam. Perhaps they felt exhilaration and joy in accepting a faith that FINALLY made sense to them. Perhaps they tried to SHARE the experience of their conversion with their own families and friends. Perhaps they told them how at peace they felt. And there was no YOUTUBE.......no cameras rolling during that time. NOTHING but simple verbal/personal interaction with other people. OMG.........the HORROR........how dare they share their experience with others!!! They surely are "abnormal."
In that case.......let's not share anything with anyone or we'll get accused of "seeking attention." Let's not share with others our experiences with death. I mean why the hell should we? Death is a fact of life.......it's inevitable.......everyone deals with it. Why share it? And if you're not some celebrity like some of the well-known Islamic speakers.........and if you don't plan to go on youtube...........you should just keep your mouth shut and not talk about your experience. Let's not talk about the birth of a baby...........after all...........it's such a common place occurrence. Why make such a big hoopla over it? Babies are born all the time. Why should one try to "seek attention" by bragging about their new-born child? Let's not talk about weddings either. After all..........it's another mundane occurrence.
We can talk about all other worldly commonplace things for hours and hours and nobody throws a cow............BUT..........when somebody wants to share their moving experience about conversion that can help even native Muslims strengthen and confirm their own iman..........THEN THE CLAWS COME OUT??????
We accuse someone of being an "attention seeker" because she shared her story on Gupshup. But ........one who broadcasts on Youtube would not be called an "attention seeker?" That's ODD. Youtube.......really puts you out there in front of the masses. Maybe the individual is too shy to be seen in a video? Some people are camera shy. So.........the only way to believe someone.............is if they go ALL OUT........by putting up a video of themselves????????
And if a video interview on youtube is "proof" of credibility.......that's ridiculous........cuz there's a lot of crap on that site as well. Such an argument is weak to say the least.
Diwanay Jee...............Even I MYSELF **had mentioned in my first post in this thread that faith is **between the individual and Allah. Whether Tayebeh is lying or speaking the truth............only Allah knows. But even if one does doubt her honesty.......there's no sure-fire way of proving it.............so would it kill one to be happy and supportive of another person???????????????? Would it kill us to to be polite even if we have doubts about the person? After all........don't we fulfill such polite formalities in daily life anyways with people we don't always trust (relatives, coworkers, boss, etc)?
I've heard people of other religions sharing their miraculous religious experiences.............it's wrong to immediately accuse the person of wanting to seek attention. Not everyone feels comfortable putting themselves on youtube. As a shy person......I wouldn't want some video floating around about me. Some people feel more comfortable sharing things with an audience of a smaller scale.
To us being Muslims might be nothing to "ooh and aah" over because we were born into Muslim families. We'll never know what it's like for a convert. She could be sharing just to express her relief....joy....in finding a religion that makes sense to her.....and maybe even to encourage others as well. Why are some simple concepts soooooo over analyzed to the point that we have to invalidate basic human emotions? Unbelievably pathetic!
^Haha now that you have no answer you are trying to back out.
I don't care what you say hareem01 but unfortunately you have made a joke of yourself. I am not the only one who has taken issues with your outrageous claims and your arrogant attititude.
I am still waiting for verification of the hadith you quoted.
*It seems like you made up a hadith. That is really really pathetic. *
No it does not liken lying to zina or sharab at all. I want to know the hadith that your friend hareem01 quoted. It looks like it was another figment of her imagination.
Also, now that you are here why don't you enlighten us about your god given gift and finally answer Tayebbeh's question.
read the articles[they have reffered the hadith but without the exact book and chapter number] before jumping up and down...... and first i heard the hadith it was from a scholar .....not hadith is written on internet anyway.
btw your attitude is no better than mine. now buzz off.
I think this thread has gone way beyond its usefulness.
I must say 'usual' or 'normal' people who convert to islam don't post a long story and more importantly continue to ask people to believe them so many times by giving some proves of knowing a language or so.
Like I said before, if someone converted to islam? So what? So many do that. And so many do not even act on Islam.
Its just that people are now becoming careful of those trying to tell others being (falsely) converted to Islam as this could be one way people try to harm muslims.
(People send fake e-mails in the muslim names and trying to lure people to go on to bad/porn sites.)
Conversion is a personal choice. At least I really don't think its something trying to tell the people on web or whole world about.
Off course people on web and more importantly on a forum will never be able to find your true identity and your truth. And they should not automatically agree.
This is not about getting remarks of 'Ma'ShaAllah", JazakAllah or other word of praises.
Just be happy with your choices and act on your new religion.
Its between the person and Allah/Almighty.
Please remember, its your act on the religion what counts, not trying to tell others what you did or trying to make others to believe on your conversion.
The moment anyone converts, the information is sent to who most likely to know, that is Almighty.
Conversion to religion also has so many reasons and backgrounds, none really helps others to learn. It just happens at the right moment when mind accepts something being good.
RV: there was no need to get so emotional but I appreciated the wordings. You tube I think was used as an example, at least the person is seen and heard and can be identified or tracked.
OP could have easily backed out or asked moderators to close the thread way before.
It did not serve any useful purpose to keep this thread open.
good points.