Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
if she fair she aint skinny and if she skinny she hair fair...but either way..women are lovely beings. so look beyond
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
Why look beyound fat - in the typical desi rishta scene where you dont even know the other person well before commiting?
if she fair she aint skinny and if she skinny she hair fair...but either way..women are lovely beings. so look beyond
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
I'm going to check both parents out as well as aunties/uncles for fatness as well as baldness - don't want to be passing those genetics on to the next generation. Skin colour i'm meh, no big deal for me, as long as she ain't kaali like a Nigerian.
And the girls parents will know about the prenup right? Fatness isn't a genetic problem. Unless there's an underlying thyroid condition and even then that can be caused by factors other than genes.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
I just want a fat biryani and the red chicken tikka with a tall and slim glass of lassi served by whoever is willing to do it until i die
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
The fat factor is just as shallow as the skin colour one. People's weights fluctuate. What happens if a skinny girl gets fat after marriage? Or what if a fair girl gets darker after marriage? There are conditions that can cause pigmentation of skin to darken. Then what? Yes there's nothing wrong with being attracted to your potential spouse but what about personality? If she's kind hearted or not? People are so materialistic and shallow.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
also, I wanted foot massage so bad all day yesterday. Does it really matter if the person giving me a foot massage is fair or slim. ofcourse not! 
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
That's all fine. I could take the holier than thou approach and preach similar things; but I will be real.
Given you know very little in the first place about a typical rishta - I am going to use the limited data points I have.
One data point is: "Oh this girl can't even slim down (not super skinny but normal) when she is looking fo rishtas".
The fat factor is just as shallow as the skin colour one. People's weights fluctuate. What happens if a skinny girl gets fat after marriage? Or what if a fair girl gets darker after marriage? There are conditions that can cause pigmentation of skin to darken. Then what? Yes there's nothing wrong with being attracted to your potential spouse but what about personality? If she's kind hearted or not? People are so materialistic and shallow.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
The fat factor is just as shallow as the skin colour one. People's weights fluctuate. What happens if a skinny girl gets fat after marriage? Or what if a fair girl gets darker after marriage? There are conditions that can cause pigmentation of skin to darken. Then what? Yes there's nothing wrong with being attracted to your potential spouse but what about personality? If she's kind hearted or not? People are so materialistic and shallow.
I don't think it's shallow to want to be attracted to the person you're going to be having sex with..
Yes, things can change but you tend to develop more of a personal bond as time goes on.. Nothing wrong with having a preference (whether that's height, weight and so on) as long as you're being realistic imo..
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
I don't think it's shallow to want to be attracted to the person you're going to be having sex with..
Yes, things can change but you tend to develop more of a personal bond as time goes on.. Nothing wrong with having a preference (whether that's height, weight and so on) as long as you're being realistic imo..
Agreed! When my parents were trying to find an arranged match for me I would keep saying no (going of looks only) because since my uni days I had an idea of what I wanted my husband to look like. I kept saying no and eventually my mom especially got soo frustrated with me and told me it would be impossible to find a guy that looked like the one I wanted. Lo and behold, I held out, met hubby (who fit the physical description perfectly) and even my mom was surprised when she met him and saw how perfectly he matched up to what my expectations had always been, AH.
Therefore, I don't get the whole hype of "it's not right to say fair skinned is more pretty" or "girl/guy should be such and such height". For god's sake, you are going to spend your whole life with this person, you are going to have to look at them everyday so you better be attracted to them physically, as well as be compatible.
I know for a fact that, yeah maybe if I had been arranged through my parent's efforts to a guy who I wasn't physically attracted to well...that would just make things harder. It's fine to have preferences, whether they are dark skin/light skin/chubby/petite etc etc because we are talking FOREVER.
I am fair skinned to a point where my white friends tell me I need to go get a tan/visit a tanning salon, I.e.: what is considered attractive (being fair) in Pakistan or desi mentality is NOT always considered attractive in other parts of the world. Every part of the world and every person has a preference and, in Pakistan it may be fair skin, but where I live and in certain other cultures it's a tan. But you don't see me getting offended by it. It is what it is.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
And the girls parents will know about the prenup right? Fatness isn't a genetic problem. Unless there's an underlying thyroid condition and even then that can be caused by factors other than genes.
Yes, the Prenup will be discussed prior to any rishta being accepted/rejected! As far as weight goes, my sister has PCOS, she ballooned in weight. She did something about - gym, change in diet etc. My parents are late 50's early 60's both are trim and fit, go gym, active. Both were diagnosed with diabetes - both changed diets and started exercising.
I'm talking about peoples parents who let themselves go like they can't be asked to stay in shape - this mentality tends to rub off on the kids - who end up being fatties later in life, which leads to their in shape spouses not being attracted to them anymore and finally infidelity. When you buy a racehorse you look at it's genetic lineage, bloodline so to speak.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
Why look beyound fat - in the typical desi rishta scene where you dont even know the other person well before commiting?
My cousin married a fattie in Pakistan, she tried going gym to loose it before the wedding, but no will power to cut back calorie intake and exercise. He was heavily compensated with about 100 acres of farmland, a car, cash and a couple of plots in defence. Good trade me thinks!
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
That's all fine. I could take the holier than thou approach and preach similar things; but I will be real.
Given you know very little in the first place about a typical rishta - I am going to use the limited data points I have.
One data point is: "Oh this girl can't even slim down (not super skinny but normal) when she is looking fo rishtas".
What makes you say that I know little about what a "typical" rishta is?
And sorry if my post came across as holier than thou. Doesn't make it any less valid.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
I don't think it's shallow to want to be attracted to the person you're going to be having sex with..
Yes, things can change but you tend to develop more of a personal bond as time goes on.. Nothing wrong with having a preference (whether that's height, weight and so on) as long as you're being realistic imo..
Isn't that the problem though with people these days? They want a super model. I think the media and just society in general is brainwashing people with unrealistic expectations of what a spouse should look like. And no its not shallow to want to be attracted to your potential spouse, I did mention that. But for a long term commitment surely personality, character and mentality should be higher up on the priority list?
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
Isn't that the problem though with people these days? They want a super model. I think the media and just society in general is brainwashing people with unrealistic expectations of what a spouse should look like. And no its not shallow to want to be attracted to your potential spouse, I did mention that. But for a long term commitment surely personality, character and mentality should be higher up on the priority list?
I don't think staying in shape and grooming makes you a supermodel. You're right though, looks fade, it's substance that counts over the long term.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
Yes, the Prenup will be discussed prior to any rishta being accepted/rejected! As far as weight goes, my sister has PCOS, she ballooned in weight. She did something about - gym, change in diet etc. My parents are late 50's early 60's both are trim and fit, go gym, active. Both were diagnosed with diabetes - both changed diets and started exercising.
I'm talking about peoples parents who let themselves go like they can't be asked to stay in shape - this mentality tends to rub off on the kids - who end up being fatties later in life, which leads to their in shape spouses not being attracted to them anymore and finally infidelity. When you buy a racehorse you look at it's genetic lineage, bloodline so to speak.
OK now you've explained the parent thing better that makes sense.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
I don't think staying in shape and grooming makes you a supermodel. You're right though, looks fade, it's substance that counts over the long term.
No I meant everyone wants a Katrina kaif or aishwarya rai lookalike. You know fair skinned, blue eyed, thin nose etc etc.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
No I meant everyone wants a Katrina kaif or aishwarya rai lookalike. You know fair skinned, blue eyed, thin nose etc etc.
Chicks like that are high maintenance, I definitely don't want one of them. Pretty much all the ladies in my family fit that description, they're all gorgeous, but high maintenance. I want someone I can feel safe in a relationship and who won't take half my stuff if we divorce!
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
hahaha
I don't think I was saying "you" literally, please read again.
I have stated my views and that's it - not interested in discrediting yours or saying yours are invalid or otherwise. There was a time years ago when I had time for that kinda stuff but alas :)
Thank you
What makes you say that I know little about what a "typical" rishta is? And sorry if my post came across as holier than thou. Doesn't make it any less valid.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
hahaha
I don't think I was saying "you" literally, please read again.
I have stated my views and that's it - not interested in discrediting yours or saying yours are invalid or otherwise. There was a time years ago when I had time for that kinda stuff but alas :)
Thank you
I read it again. Maybe I'm reading it wrong. And you're welcome.
Re: The quest for fair skinned wife
Lots of Punjabis claim they have Pathan ancestry and consider themselves “Punjabi Pathans” or “Pathans of Punjab.” They usually don’t speak the language or follow Pashtunwali, since their families settled in Punjab centuries ago. It’s pretty common among tribes like the Lodhis and Niazis.
There are even Indians and Bengalis who say they have Pathan roots and consider themselves Pathans of some sort.