I’ve been following this forum for a while but only post on it when I have something meaningful to ask or say. I see many others who post on it incessantly and don’t even offer meaningful advice. I was frankly quite disappointed with this forum when I sought advice here once about a dress but it turned into a personal attack on people’s own in-laws and since then haven’t bothered. But recently I find that many posters motivations for being on this forum really disturb me. Many who frequent this forum need to evaluate why they post here and/or find more meaningful ways to channel their ill-feelings towards other.
That said, I have a few questions for those who post here regularly.
Do you consider this to be a place where people offer genuine advice or is this just somewhere you can rant about problems in your life?
When you post here about some genuine issue are you looking for your opinion to be changed or do you simply want your voice to be heard?
Many of you criticize others people in your life on this forum. Do you ever approach those people in real life and try to resolve those issues or are you closed up to them in real life?
Do you ever find yourself investing so much time in this forum that it prevents you from having real social relationships?
Its the internet woman. If you are coming to GS for advice you got bigger issues than we do. The internet is not a place to seek advice. Your friends and family are your best source of support and advice because only they have your true interests at heart.
I couldn't give a damn if someone is fighting with their MIL. However if my sister, cousin or friend have an issue yeah I care. Otherwise I don't.
As for question 4 I have a question for you. Does the fact that you are seeking advice on the internet mean you have no real relationships at all that you need to seek advice online? Now on to your questions.
No. I consider this place a time pass. I don't value anything I post here nor do I care for the problems that people post here. They are random people on the net I have never met and will never meet.
I post because I can. I don't consider most of the issues posted in Life 1 to be serious at all. Its just people being stubborn and unwilling to compromise.
I don't bring real issues to GS. Never have and never will. I think its retarded you ask random internet people for views on your personal life. Its pretty pathetic.
Agreed. It's important for people to realize that if they don't have anything helpful/meaningful to offer, then it's better to not say anything at all.
I disagree CM...the internet is a great place to seek unbiased advice. If we just ask friends and family for some questions and such, they are more likely to sugarcoat and be biased.
With that being said, there is a realization that it's unnecessary when people comment without adding anything meaningful to the thread. So it's important they mature up and not do that. I know some other forums where people are actually honest without being rude/obnoxious/unnecessary.
unbiased?? are you kidding me?? its just one sided account/version/view of things…and you expect people to give unbiased advice listening to one sided views…
I honestly dont think that the advice that you get on the internet about relationships is something you should take seriously. Unless of course you are giving the entire account of events/both sides of the story. The advice you get is generic at best. Pick up a self help book or read a bs article about relationships on yahoo and you will get the same advice. People who know you well can only give you advice because they will most likely have your best interest at heart.
Like off the internet you will get many different views and not everyone will give you proper advice it happens on GS too. It's for the person seeking advice to determine what is best for them. We can't expect everyone to be serious or care for the same things as us. The responsibility lies on the person seeking advice and not on those giving advice, unfortunately.
I couldn't give a damn if someone is fighting with their MIL. However if my sister, cousin or friend have an issue yeah I care. Otherwise I don't.
As for question 4 I have a question for you. Does the fact that you are seeking advice on the internet mean you have no real relationships at all that you need to seek advice online? Now on to your questions.
I agree with you on the first point. I think people who ask for advice on this forum or phrase it as advise are a) either looking for a way to gossip b) don't have mothers, sisters, friends who they can confide in/depend on.
In response to your question: I don't generally seek advice online but sometimes there are things to plan/do where people you know don't necessarily have that experience. I did learn though, that it is better to rely on novices you know around you in real life than random people on an online forum.
How many time OP tells the true story and not temper the facts? Most of the time its one sided story with heavily loaded facts bailing out OP of any wrong doing and seeking to approve their position instead of getting genuine advise.
Even if the posters here are sincere, what are the chance that someone will get right advise by just reveling one side of the story?
I think GS is actually a great resource if you are looking for ideas for weddings or parties. There are even members on here that will give you good career advice. There are also members that you can have a nice debate with without wnting to shoot yourself. But relationship advice should only be sought from people you absolutely trust. I think people usually post here to get some sort of validation for their opinions or decisions they have already made.
I think GS is actually a great resource if you are looking for ideas for weddings or parties. There are even members on here that will give you good career advice. There are also members that you can have a nice debate with without wnting to shoot yourself. But relationship advice should only be sought from people you absolutely trust. I think people usually post here to get some sort of validation for their opinions or decisions they have already made.
I honestly dont think that the advice that you get on the internet about relationships is something you should take seriously. Unless of course you are giving the entire account of events/both sides of the story. The advice you get is generic at best. Pick up a self help book or read a bs article about relationships on yahoo and you will get the same advice. People who know you well can only give you advice because they will most likely have your best interest at heart.
Quite a few of the genuine problems on here are caused by people they know.. 'My mum is pressuring me to marry my cousin, she says who else is going to marry me'.. That's hardly having their best interest at heart.. I think it's healthy to get unbiased advice from ppl not involved in the situation..
I also find it interesting that some posters (not you) feel 'threatened' by advice given to others on GS.. Quite strange that they see free discussion as such a negative thing and then ironically talk about others having 'agendas'..
I've been following this forum for a while but only post on it when I have something meaningful to ask or say. I see many others who post on it incessantly and don't even offer meaningful advice. I was frankly quite disappointed with this forum when I sought advice here once about a dress but it turned into a personal attack on people's own in-laws and since then haven't bothered. But recently I find that many posters motivations for being on this forum really disturb me. Many who frequent this forum need to evaluate why they post here and/or find more meaningful ways to channel their ill-feelings towards other.
That said, I have a few questions for those who post here regularly.
1) Do you consider this to be a place where people offer genuine advice or is this just somewhere you can rant about problems in your life?
2) When you post here about some genuine issue are you looking for your opinion to be changed or do you simply want your voice to be heard?
3) Many of you criticize others people in your life on this forum. Do you ever approach those people in real life and try to resolve those issues or are you closed up to them in real life?
4) Do you ever find yourself investing so much time in this forum that it prevents you from having real social relationships?
Kind of. I do have friends that I will talk to about serious things (GS and non GS friends). But to get a different perspective on some matters, I do like the forums. The last time I opened a new thread about a "problem" I think most ppl were decent and gave some good advice.
When I post, it's to get a feel of what ppl are generally thinking. If I just want to state my opinion with or without the intention of changing it, I do that in the blogs.
In the past, no I didn't. There are times when it's really not always possible to approach the ppl in your real life, so you look for other ways to deal with things.
I've been following this forum for a while but only post on it when I have something meaningful to ask or say. I see many others who post on it incessantly and don't even offer meaningful advice. I was frankly quite disappointed with this forum when I sought advice here once about a dress but it turned into a personal attack on people's own in-laws and since then haven't bothered. But recently I find that many posters motivations for being on this forum really disturb me. Many who frequent this forum need to evaluate why they post here and/or find more meaningful ways to channel their ill-feelings towards other.
That said, I have a few questions for those who post here regularly.
1) Do you consider this to be a place where people offer genuine advice or is this just somewhere you can rant about problems in your life?
**Its not as black at white as that.
GS has memberships from all over the world. Some of our members are serious about asking and giving advice and some are goofs...that is to be expected. You have to be able to take the good, leave the bad and go from from there. There will be days when you will want to rant and this is a great place to do it because you'll find people that console you, make you laugh and piss you off. It would be the same had you ranted in real life to a room full of people.
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2) When you post here about some genuine issue are you looking for your opinion to be changed or do you simply want your voice to be heard?
I am open to all of it. If someone presents a different perspective on things...my view can be changed.
3) Many of you criticize others people in your life on this forum. Do you ever approach those people in real life and try to resolve those issues or are you closed up to them in real life?
*I don't really know a lot of guppies offline and have issues with none of the ones I do know.
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4) Do you ever find yourself investing so much time in this forum that it prevents you from having real social relationships?
Not really...I have my gang of girlfriends and we do stuff all the time. Why would GS prevent me from having real social relationships?
I have been coming to this forum since 2004 and have rarely posted anything but once I posted an issue for the parents cause it involved my own immediate family and I didnt know where else to turn. I got some valid answers out of that one. Also, from just being a silent reader here for years I have learn a lot from issues others have posted and gotten some great advice. Its sometimes necessary to see the viewpoint of others on top of what you are thinking and it does help.
