Alot of people think that people who have grown up to in the west have a completely different mentality to the people that have grown up in Pakistan.
The other day, a friend of mine said, “if you go to Pakistan, the people act all nice infront of you, but as soon as your back is turned they backstab you!”. He also went on to say, “when they see your from abroad, they think your loaded and try to be real friendly with you because they want something from you”.
Now this makes me think, why is it that so many people generalise things like that surely this can be apllied to the world as a whole and not just the Pakistanis. Im sure you see that everywhere no matter what your nationality or religion.
I’ve experienced the same superficial behavior when I go to Pakistan.
I’ve always gotten treated like crap by people until they find out I’m from America. I don’t really dress bling bling everywhere or pile up make up on my face or go to the salon every day, so they mistake an ordinary girl for a poor kid off the street and not worth talking to.
It’s really ridiculous, the class issues these people have. And then when I start talking in English in my American accent, they straighten out.
I think people from Pakistan have a different mentality and different outlook on some of the stuff than the Pakistanis in the West.
I generally tend to get on well with both sets of people but I find it easier to get on with Pakistanis from here than the ones from Pakistan
Problem is these differences cause some people to dislike one and other and hence apply their prejudices across to everyone as a whole.
And ditto the problem of generalisation arises.
EDIT, after reading PCG's post I though have noticed the obsession and the inferiority complex in Pakistan when it comes to copying or mimicking anything Western.
Pakistani culture is big on being hospitable....so you treat your guest like a king, no matter how rude or ill mannered they may be... you never show annoyance or anger to their face... thats just how it is. I used to be annoyed by the backbiting too but I realized, ermmm what someone says behind my back shouldn't bother me... :p
Treating a guest well doesn't end when that guest leaves your home. At least not in our religion nor in our traditional culture either.
People have recently become very superficial. Odd, because their country is at the bottom of the bottom and it's not like they have much to be proud of...
Not that I'm defending backbiting, and yes in religion its definitely not allowed...but in our culture, more importance is given to treating the guest with respect rather than being blunt and honest. (unless its an extreme circumstance)...
the backstabbing thing...u find that in EVERY culture/country/background....it isn't limited only to Pakistanis in Pakistan.
Alot of people think that people who have grown up to in the west have a completely different mentality to the people that have grown up in Pakistan.
I don't think that the mentality is COMPLETELY different. A common religion and culture....can bring about some similarity in values and beliefs, etc. But since the environments are so vastly different.....it accounts for SOME differences in mentality. In the west....Desis are a minority....whereas in Pakistan it's the predominant culture. The former try to find a balance so they can assimilate into a country where the predominant culture is different from their own. It makes sense.....your environment shapes you. So, yes, to address the above point.....there will be SOME differences in mentality...not necessarily entirely different.
The other day, a friend of mine said, "if you go to Pakistan, the people act all nice infront of you, but as soon as your back is turned they backstab you!". He also went on to say, "when they see your from abroad, they think your loaded and try to be real friendly with you because they want something from you".
Backstabbing...jealousy...insecurity...selfishness....arrogance...all part of human nature ....they transcend culture and creed. I have relatives in West who are nice to your face...and mean to your face....and will also backstab you. I have relatives in Pakistan who are sincere and that I trust...and others who I'm more careful around.I do feel...that some of my relatives have this view that those living in the US are rich. It's an issue that come up recently....when a cousin of mine who lives in Pak indirectly voiced such assumptionabout us.They simply see the conversion of dollars to rupees....they don't know how challenging it can be to live in the west and support a family. Since the standard of living is better compared to Pak....it can lead to such assumptions as "Oh they're loaded."
Now this makes me think, why is it that so many people generalise things like that surely this can be apllied to the world as a whole and not just the Pakistanis. Im sure you see that everywhere no matter what your nationality or religion.
I gave you the example of the a difference in economy/standard of living....which can lead to generalizations. One's experiences (good or bad) lead to generalizations. It also possible that if one is interacting more frequently with a people of a certain race.............it leads to generalizations about them.
Won't say much as the topic is a whole big discussion, mostly opinion based. However, the fact is the mentality and mannerisms of Pakistan's pakistanis and West's pakistanis are very different from each others.
offcourse there is a big difference in mentalities but think n just think fo a while dat y some ppl in pak dont talk positivly in ur absence...many ppl fromhere show their atitude infront of them like i just hv come from abroad...i'm super being...i eat this dat there..pak is so dirty ect ect....so obviously the ppl in pak make fun of them...(i agree dat all ppl r no the same type both pakis n from west).....n no any doubt dat ppl in west sometimes hv less moral values or TAMEEZ...in order to b a soooo natural or straight forward they turned as no hospitality.no moral values ect....so thi sis not the case dat only in pak it could b happen...in both places west or pak every type of families r available...( i do agree dat there r looots of false culturals issues,,let the ppl act wrong)....i hv personally experience in europe dat how untrained,rude n strange ppl live here...all depends on the TARBIYAT of running generatin......
wen i went to pak last time i would keep getting a tana oh u have money to waste not from my family but from salon ladies or people from outside my response to them is simple dont hate say congrats !!!
What i’ve noticed is that Pakistanis from pak seem to think and generalise that all pakistanis from the west are crazy, out of control, and have no morals and all have bfs/gfs, drink, smoke etc (you get the point).
In my opinion, i think that pakistanis living in the west are actually alot more conservative and have old school thinking because alot of the ones who moved out of pak like 20,30 yrs ago, have the same old pakistani culture and thinking that they had when they left pakistan all those years ago and they’ve passed this culture onto their kids. And last time i visited pak, i was pretty suprised to see how ‘modern’ the culture is there now and even how some of the girls there dress. So even though pakistan is trying to move onto a more ‘westernised’ and ‘modern’ culture, the pakistanis living in the west still have old cultural values.
Last time i went to pak, all pakistanis there would talk to me in only english, and would try and act very westernised. And most of them were very suprised that I dressed so modestly. ANd one of my relatives wanted to make me shalwar kameez that was sleeveless, and when i told them i dont wear sleeveless clothes, they were so shocked and thought i was strange!
So it really annoys me when pakistanis from pak assume that the pakistanis from the west are “avarra” (however you spell it) because in some aspects, they’re not so far behind themselves!
Individual experiences reflect the type of family in Pakistan one belongs to.
true, although i'm not only basing this opinion on experiences i've had with my own family (i have no family there besides far, far distant relatives) i've heard similar stories/experiences from many other pakistanis too.
Naturally i used to have many genralisations… but things are changing albeit slowly.
Now i come to realise not everyones the same… Pakistani or Gorra bacha there are differences and similarities everywhere.
I used to think i am more like the older generations until i came to UK and met some of the oldies myself… heck the guys havent got a clue.
Sure they remmember the good old days but they dont wanna go back to em…
Anyhow i reckon it’s all about the environment around you.
Not everyone grew up in a medieval set up and holds onto simple beliefs like me… i’ve come to understand that and respect the differences out there… no matter how hard it is.
No matter where are you from (Pakistan or west), you will always feel strange things when you are visiting the other side. Each side has its on goods and bads and by the way most of things related to/depends on the up-brining of kids no matter if its west or Pakistan.
In my personal experience, Pakistanis coming from abroad have least respect for anything Pakistani.
It's understandable if one disagrees with pakistani version of Islam and our political thinking, but why make fun of our culture and lifestyle?
No matter how hospitable you are with them, they only focus on pointing out defects in everything you do.
Sometimes, I get sick of a canadian in my company who does not stop comparing everything with Canada.
And its true Pakistanis in Pakistan think of foreign Pakistanis as goras/goris without any morals. It's not without any reason, it's because of the way they present themselves while in Pakistan.
