shawns
February 5, 2014, 6:19am
24
Re: The ones that are divorced…any regrets?
I wasn’t looking for any particular group…just wanted to talk to someone…anyone. We started by asking our friends if they knew of any girls who were divorced and willing to talk to girls dealing with it right now. Majority ended up being Muslim - some desi and some Arab. By chance, it just grew and now most of the girls are still in touch with each other.
My reason was immigration. I was not opposed to immigration though as much as I was opposed to being used for it. We were different but lots of different people get married and make it work if both are willing to change a little bit to suit the other. He and his parents wanted complete control of everything and even though I gave in…it was scary. It feels like sitting in the passenger seat of your car with a blindfold on. Your car, someone else is driving and you have no idea where you’re going. It gets worse when you’ve been 100000% independent your entire life and now all of a sudden don’t have a dime to your name and need to ask your husband for gas money.
You do have anger…my blogs were at one point just sob stories and my GS family…I’ve met some amazing people on this forum. So you must mourn but you must also pull out of it.
Things that helped me:
Your happiness (someone wise told me this and I’ll never forget it) is a choice. It sounds simple but is it? Training your brain to choose and not be swept away by “I can’t help it”. Once you do, fear disappears…you stop thinking anyone has the power to take away your sukoon.
You never walk away from anything without learning something. It doesn’t matter if he was Hitler…you need to have learned something.
Help someone. Anyone in any way you can. Your problems look like nothing when you help someone. I think the reason charity is one of our five pillars is not just so we can take care of the needy around us…its also because we need to do good when we encounter something terrible. Our soul demands it.
N showed me how amazing and loving Pakistani girls are and some times I feel that if the culture is hell bent on mistreating the girls then the girls have no choice but look outside the culture, all my kids will have our blessing to choose from any race or religion. the only condition s love and respect