The one

[SID_NY]

Re: The one

@Cheegum

The grass is greener where you water it.

You forgot “khaad”. Ask @TLK

[Life01]

Re: The one

@Bobby1

Okay noobs, listen very carefully..it doesn’t happen , you have to build it and you have to make it happen. Great relationships are a lot of commitment and a lot of work and you build it one brick at a time, you show appreciation, you show love and caring, you do nice things on a daily basis, compromise, be patient and dont get get upset. One bad comment takes away seven good deeds. So in the end if you deposited way more positives than negatives then you have a great relationship. When I married my wife I promised that I will have a great relationship and I did, when I had children I promised I will have a great relationship and I do, when I got my job I promised that I will have great relationships at work and I did..it is really not a stroke of luck, you make relationship goals and work on it.

Yeah but what if your wife thought she was better than you and did not respect your boundries values etc. Finding someone like minded who is just as willing to make it work no matter what is the difficult part. wanting the other person to make all the compromises is what mostly causes issues.

[Life01]

Re: The one

@NavAhmed

I have also noted some people tend to be very negative and pessimistic from the very beginning. They may have had bad past experiences/broken hearts/damaged trusts etc but these should only serve as a reminder how things can go wrong and what to look for and what to avoid in any future relationship, not as tools to define, shape up and engulf your future relationships.

There is no need to start a potential relationship with negativity and an inherently eternal resolution that things will not work out and only something mega positive or wow can only make them believe again (and heal their past pain which should never have had to come into equation in the first place)

I like Bobby’s comments that it takes lot of hardwork and dedication to make it work, and sometimes with perseverance and determination, the ‘wrong’ person can be turned around, but of course both persons need to play their part there.

Saying that you can turn wrong to right is saying you can change someone which probably is not a good idea. In my opnion you can only really win people over is if they have a soft place for you in the first place if someone really is not your type then it does not matter what you do it wont work.

[Life01]

Re: The one

I dont know if good people always get good people. What does someone do to deserve abuse, violence fruad etc. Ofcourse you have to play your part well ,and this is not always easy,but at the end of the day,fate wins.

[Bobby1]

Re: The one

@Life01

Yeah but what if your wife thought she was better than you and did not respect your boundries values etc. Finding someone like minded who is just as willing to make it work no matter what is the difficult part. wanting the other person to make all the compromises is what mostly causes issues.

We are exact opposites of each other, our values are totally different. I took some courses and the instructor talked about relationship goals. One of her goal was to have better relationship with her daughter, then she wrote down things that will strengthen the relationship and wrote down things that will destroy it and then you do more on things that strengthen it and less on what destroys it.

Here is a good video

[SaeedinPakistan]

Re: The one

Found the one :).

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[decentGuy]

Re: The one

I’m not so sure about cliches such as, “good things happen to good people” or “we can make a wrong person right with love/effort”.

On a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being ‘right person’ and 10 being ‘wrong person’. From 2-5 on that scale, effort/love has an effect but not beyond that, and one will have to surrender their soul to continue such a relationship and many do.

The question might arise as to why then people end up with someone so ‘wrong’. Its called deceit and lies with which those ‘wrong people’ hide their true self. They adopt personas so skillfully that even a genuine 1 on the aforementioned scale will look like a 3 or 4 in their presence.

The point I’m trying to make is, do everything in your capacity then leave rest on Allah’s will a.k.a luck.