…the more judgemental towards others you become!
Somebody in a conversation about the different factions of spirituality and religious tendencies said this and I was momentarily taken aback. Does the struggle to achieve piety actually makes somebody arrogant and judgemental?
Misconception or kind of true?
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
It's both because in my observation , it's just my opinion that if you are a true person and closer to Islam, then you will never be proud of Ibadat. You will treat everyone with humbleness and give them respect. And it's really hard to find true Muslim in this day. If you are proud of your prayers then you haven't reached that level yet where we call a true pious Muslim. Shaitaan's first sin was he was too proud of his Ibadat.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
Key here is appearing to be religious. Those who are truly religious keep it ptivate and don't impose their religion on others. The end result is worse than being judgmental - it is being intolerant of others.
I know this from personal experience. Relationship with an extremely close relative ruined over the Babri Masjid issue. Maybe that is why I rant over and over about Secular being the only option - with religion being a private matter.
Having said that, UZ I can vouch for. She is as gentle as they come. You go, boss! :)
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
It's true for tablighis.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
From my experience, I'll say it's the opposite--the more religious you appear to become, you're more judged by others. Less religious people tend to think that the more religious think high of themselves and judge them when you wouldn't get that impression if you were to spend time in the company of the said more religious people.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
It's true for tablighis.
Are you saying this based on what you've heard or have you actually directly interacted with them? After interacting with them, I can confidently say that they're the last people who would judge anyone.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
Are you saying this based on what you've heard or have you actually directly interacted with them? After interacting with them, I can confidently say that they're the last people who would judge anyone.
It's the posts I've been reading by them.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
I agree with Captain Obvious here :k:
And I think the reason for this is that when people see someone doing something which they don’t do themselves, then they start evaluating themselves. I.e. they start judging themselves uncounsciously.
And to feel better about themselves, they start judging the other person.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
I don’t think that’s true for everyone. For example, I don’t feel the need to wear a burqa or bikini when I see someone wearing it.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
It probably appears to be like that but it isn't the case in actual fact.
For example, A will ask B (religious) a question. B will give an answer based on his/her religious teachings. When A doesn't hear what s/he wanted to hear, then A thinks B is being judgemental when that really is not the case.
I think that answers the question - if not, then I do apologise.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
I don't think that's true for everyone. For example, I don't feel the need to wear a burqa or bikini when I see someone wearing it.
I didn't mean that.
It is not about the need to do somethings as well.
It is more about: somebody is covering her hair properly, and I am not.
Pssht, that doesnt mean that she is a better muslim than I am.
Islam is more than covering your head. \
She must be thinking that she is the perfect muslima.
More blabla all in the head stuff.....
I am talking about that kind of attitude.
I will leave the many real life examples. How many times haven't I seen on the forums that people make fun of somebody who wears burqa (even if it isnt required religiously, those who do, do it because they want to observe full pardah). People calling them ninjas and what not.
Why do they do that?
It is all out of insecurity. It is the 'If I am not doing a certain thing, then why is another doing it?' -attitude.
Unconsciously comparing yourself with the other. And then feeling bad about yourself somehow. And then putting the other down by either calling him/her names, or questioning his/her intentions.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
Different example which I have observed many times aswell (to explain my point):
There is a party (or whatever) and when it's finished, everyone is still sitting and chatting.
Then somebody decides to help clean the mess.
That person will be called a slimeball by some, and a showoff, trying to get browniepoints.
The people who will call him so, do it because they feel bad about themselves. Because they arent the ones who came with the idea of cleaning. So in order to make themselves feel better, they will put the other down.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
I have a friend who is extremely religious. Parda, Ibadat, Spirituality..the whole nine yards. And I've never judged her. If I did, we would never have become friends or stayed friends. I don't even cover my head, she does niqab... and she has also never judged me. I never feel any less of a Muslim around her. My relation with Allah swt is not based on how I look at people who are religious. So why would I want to judge a person on his/her relation to Allah?? That's just plain shallow and irrational.
So I don't agree with Le Pakistan and Caption Obvious. I am a living example of not judging a.. dare I say it - Extremist when it comes to religious values.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
People are judgemental, being religious or non-religious has no bearing on it. Its the sheer conviction of the righteousness of their stance/outlook/perspective/way that makes people judge (either consciously or subconsciously).
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
I have a friend who is extremely religious. Parda, Ibadat, Spirituality..the whole nine yards. And I've never judged her. If I did, we would never have become friends or stayed friends. I don't even cover my head, she does niqab... and she has also never judged me. I never feel any less of a Muslim around her. My relation with Allah swt is not based on how I look at people who are religious. So why would I want to judge a person on his/her relation to Allah?? That's just plain shallow and irrational.
So I don't agree with Le Pakistan and Caption Obvious. I am a living example of not judging a.. dare I say it - Extremist when it comes to religious values.
I nowhere said that everyone judges.
I gave a reason why people judge.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
Its done by all really.
But the people who focus on outwardly religiousity do it more often.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
totally agree. They are the most non judgmental people. I love their company and would stay in it more if they don’t promote 3 days of jawlaa to me 
some of our very good family friends are tablighi and the reason I like their company is because they don’t lie, gossip or backbite in social gatherings. What better can I ask for.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
Ad btw, getting judged is also a perception that often comes from inner guilt.
couple of years ago I was with my friends and another family was there where the lady was talking to my friends wife about going to a music show. Me and another friend were talking about something else and suddenly we started talking about Maghrib prayer time as it was probably approaching and we wanted to know the exact time. We were talking to each other and did not involve anyone, but that lady all of a sudden jumped in and sarcastically said, ' achcha achcha hamain pata hai ke aap log bohut namazi hain, itna jataanay kee kya zaroorat hai" . I was both shocked and embarrassed but did not say anything.
i know of people that if you ask them the direction of qibla or time of namaz, they think that you are trying to be pious and putting them down. I mean how stupid can it be? I pray my namaz and cannot avoid it in your company just because you don't do namaz, and I should be sensitive towards your unislamic behavior.
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
It's true for tablighis.
I know what you mean..
I was once passing from Data Darbar together with a friend who belongs to tablighi jamaat. I made a comment that this place is a blessing for Lahore because no one stays hungary at night in our city due to this shrine. This friend of mine became really angry that it is a "bidat" to give food to hungary people on shrines. I asked him to see the positive side.. even I have never been inside the shrine to see what happens inside.. but I do appreciate the fact that a lot of hungary people get food from this place who otherwise would stay hungary at night. But this guy refused to see any thing positive happening there.. said it was extremely wrong and it was bidat even to appreciate such acts. I could see this guy getting red with rage...
Re: The more religious you appear to be..
That’s not what I said. What I was saying was that if somebody becomes apparently more religious, they are judged by those who are not doing what they’re doing. Le Pakistan and TLK both gave good examples of that. I’m not saying everyone judges the people more religious than they are. However, I’ve seen it a lot more from the less religious against the more religious than the opposite.