Having lived away from home for 6 years for medschool, I am very used to my own space. Even at medschool I always chose to live totally alone. I mean literally with none of my friends out of choice.
I LOVE the fact I don’t have to answer to anyone about anything. I loved coming home after dinner with friends and making tea and wearing stuff which I cant wear infront of others like shorts etc to sleep in and watching a movie or doing my work or organising my place or whatever.
I love my own space of course at university because I had a very active social life and good friends I never felt lonely and I realise always being alone is horrible.
I also know that with me I cannot spend alot of time with the same person for some reason.
Anyways here in pakistan I have to share a room with mummy and as much as I love her I have realised I really find it hard to share a room! Everyone has gone out today and I started rejoicing at the chance to be alone and my Khala said ( jab shaadi ho jayagi to kya hoga??)
so 1. Does anyone else know where I am coming from? and
I always felt that men and women were designed to live next to eachother NOT WITH eachother but I need to you guys to give your opinions, advice and experience of marriage, especially those who live with in laws of how to made the transition from your own room, time, space etc to having to share it all. I know I will find it hard and I need to break this habit now!
i totally hear you. i feel like my parents and i have a better relationship when I'm at school and independent. I enjoy being able to make small stupid decisions on my own (I can eat when I want, sleep when I want)
Inspiron, I’m exactly the same! I come from a family where we don’t always sit together, we do our own thing and I did find it weird when I got married that my in laws would all sit in one room and constantly be together. My husband and I are opposites where he has to be around people to “bounce off” and I prefer a bit of solitude. I don’t think it’s a habit to be broken, it’s just the way some people are. I’ve got used to a different dynamic with my in laws, although I am lucky in that I live in my own house but spend the majority of time at theirs. Some ways I adjusted were to be clear with my husband that I need my own space sometimes and encourage him to go out with his friends, keep up with his hobbies so we can both be happy. So long as there’s a balance it’s all good!
You sound exactly like me Minus the bit having to stay with parents. I know exactly where you’re coming from. I love my space and alone-ness. I would hate to be questioned about where i’m going? when i’ll be back etc etc?
well perhaps you should get into shape
being overweight can cause snoring..and well being boring well I would rather be alone than be with somebody boring too!
LOL…during a family vacation last year, parents suggested I share a room with my sisters for 5 days and I freaked out! I got a separte room for myself. But it’s very different when you share the space with your spouse. You can come home and wear stuff in from of your hubby that you wouldn’t wear in front of others…
Yes, I can VERY much relate to how you feel (I moved out at 22). So can my hubby because he moved out at 18 to go to college out-of-state…and then lived alone through med. school, residency, and fellowship.
I don’t live with in-laws so can’t answer that. But I know with hubby…we’ve adjusted to each other. We don’t “answer” to each other for anything. As partners, we work WITH each other. We don’t always agree with what the other does. But we’ve learned to compromise. And I have no regrets in me compromising b/c I love him very much, and can’t imagine life without him. And even with marriages…with people like us…at times we need a “break” from one another. It doesn’t bother us and we’re respectful of each other’s “separate” time. Neither one of us feels the need to be joined at the hip 24/7.
I don’t think there is ANYTHING wrong with how you feel. But when choosing a life partner, it’s very important that you choose one who can relate to how you feel and is respectful of that.
My brother moved back home after 4 years at school. It was adjustment but I let my parents know that they should not bother him too much and to make sure that he feel that he's independent.
He had his room and car and my parents let him make his own decisions but hedoes misses being on his own a lot. Good for him that he's really busy with med school so rarely has time away from studying anyway.
I lived alone for a bit and when I went back home...it was so hard.
No one likes to be questioned about what they're doing, where they're going, who they're going to be with, etc.
But I think its different with a spouse, isn't it? I mean, its not a Spanish Inquisition every time you leave the house but its courteous to tell him/her where you're going and when you'll be back.
i dont know if its sad or what.. but nobody in my home cares if im out at 2 in the morning.. id be annoyed if they start asking me qs .. so can totally relate to u.
though it would be really diff with ur SO.
i lived alone. During uni it wasnt unusual for me to wonder back in at 5 or 6 in the morning. If i was living with someone i would always have to wonder what if i disturb them?? and just too many what ifs. But just generally i never let myself get too attached to anyone. Cuz that way ur kind of taken for granted........
Inspiron - I would say be careful about the kind of partner you choose to spend life with. Hubby and have I have our own place and don't live with in laws or anyone else and I love it! We do share a room but completely have our freedom. We always tell each other what we're up to, but do exactly as we like and no one has curfew. It's the best of freedom and sharing! I love it.
I exactly ya know what ya saying inspiron. I moved out 4 years ago and i tell ya this has taught me so much about life and world. I have had a chance to improve myself as a person. Became much more conscious about my prayers. I get uncomfortable...whenever i am told what to do..by my dad. So ya...prefer living by myself. Though, nowadays my dad is not well at all and growing old..so i will be taking care of my mom and sisters soon enough.
You guys really top in making a mountain out of a mole - is this really a matter to be worried about ?
Whatever there be of progress in life - it comes through Adjustment , Adaptation to your current situation !
Throughout my life I have had my own room - but there was a time ( when I moved out for education/work) - I had to share rooms , even bed and I bloody survived ... so what's the big deal in it .
… she says I’m boring too …
Minus the bit having to stay with parents. I know exactly where you’re coming from. I love my space and alone-ness. I would hate to be questioned about where i’m going? when i’ll be back etc etc?
I got a separte room for myself. 
.. so can totally relate to u.