Do you sometimes have doubts in your heart that maybe you don’t love your spouse? Do you sometimes not feel close to them? Do you think sometimes you confuse love with passion?
I know with most of my friends it was arranged marriage. It started with the guy liking them and obviously being attracted to them and then once they got married it turned into attachment. I don’t know if they don’t share it but most of them don’t have much passion in their marriage.
Re: The love between husband and wife
:halo:
Re: The love between husband and wife
yeah only love marriages have love in them... arranged marriages are just compromises.. one after the other!!!
After visiting this forum lately, I have a feeling a generation later there would be no such thng as marriage.. we are about to get rid of that formality.
Re: The love between husband and wife
I used to feel the same way until I realized people fall out of love also where as people in arranged marriages don't have a choice but to love that person.
Dear Serafina,
if life was that easy to live, ar chahiye tha kya!!!!
my marrige is a love marrige but i have suffered the most hardest time of my life from the day i married him... but everything and moment has its time...
to be honest husbands only will love u more wen u love his parents or do as he like!!!! dont try to push him on decisions or try to act smart! men 99% dont like such females!!!
my hubby loves me a lot... regrdless of watever has happened in between us!!! the fact is he knows im the mother of his children n i love n care for him too!!!! but ye cheez develope honay kay leeye b time chahiye hai!!!!!
Re: The love between husband and wife
passion , love or romance in a marriage doesn't come all by itself , one has to keep working on it ...............
Re: The love between husband and wife
Define passion.
If you mean by it the intensity of intimacy then, studies have shown that it declines with time in all relationships, married/unmarried both.
[quote="Gemini_the_Great, post:1436, topic:182896"]
yeah only love marriages have love in them... arranged marriages are just compromises.. one after the other!!!
dont say that my marriage was arranged but i love my husband the most n ditto
Re: The love between husband and wife
yes u can develop these feelings after wedding...but i dnt thnk thy can hve any major effect on ur relationship...
sometimes i do feel bit negative abt him...but yea most of the time i try to be a luvly wife..and yes thngs tke time...so never rush or push him to do anythng....
Re: The love between husband and wife
Its funny how everyones replies are so different. I guess at the end of the day its about what you consider love, its what you feel satisfies you and makes you happy.
Re: The love between husband and wife
IMO, you're gonna get married to the person Allah has chosen for you, love or no love. What happens afterwards depends on how maturely and wisely the couple make decisions and treat the families.
Re: The love between husband and wife
Hmmm I guess I am very americanized in the sense that I think you should marry someone you love and then off course work on it. For me its really difficult to digest that you can actually marry someone hoping that you will develop feelings for them.
Re: The love between husband and wife
very important ques. nice thread.
does already shake the heart, does not it?
i am not married. but i know that there is no way that a bond can be broken more severely than by mistrust and that disappointment does warrant severing a relationship, simply to stand by the principle of fairness.
Hmmm I guess I am very americanized in the sense that I think you should marry someone you love and then off course work on it. For me its really difficult to digest that you can actually marry someone hoping that you will develop feelings for them.
well if u are americanized i was born n raised in germany but i just culd nt argue with my mother i love her so much i knew she wuld never ever make a mistake n trust me i ve seen people dating around n getting badly hurt there are hardly few people who actually find sincere love out there
serafina; 90% of paksitnais get an arranged marriage. soemtimes even when like guyz date aorund n stuff, tehy end up getting an arranged marriage cause they not successful in finding lets say good match. i even know of soem girlz who have like dated but hten they end getting an aranged marriage bcs they either got hurt or things didnt work out. or some ppl just dunt find a true luv so they must resort 2 arrangd marriage.
i think luv can come after marraige. once ur living with the perona nd spending time with them, it gorws. y do we uv our families? bcs we live with them. we didnt choose our mom n dad n sis n bros..allah did..but we still care 4 the m so much cause we live with them. luv grows with time i think. the more association u have with ppl the more u luv em.
i know my dad he always used to stay at his mamoo's house even more than his parents's house nd he got really attached to his mamoo, mammi nd cousins. he even is 2day eeven thou wev been living so many yrs in canadna. the more u stay iwth ppl, the more u get attached 2 them.
Dear Serafina,
to be honest husbands only will love u more wen u love his parents or do as he like!!!! dont try to push him on decisions or try to act smart! men 99% dont like such females!!!
i totally agree !their moms ans sisters can never be wrong..if they are, at times, they have a valid reason of doing it !!! and they are the smartest thing on the planet..wives who keep saying 'mujay kuch nahi pata..aap jesa kahayn kar letay hain' typos are the best for them !!
Re: The love between husband and wife
Hmmm I am so confused.
So if love isn't the basis for marrige what is?
When love is the basis but over time the intensity is not the same, what makes you stay with that person? Commitment? What if less intensity means unhapiness does that mean you should leave the person and get married go through this cycle and marry again and again and again? if you want love in marriage that is.
Hmmmm i’m not married yet laikin inshallah soon, it’s a love marriage now but in start it was just friendship, trust and fun that we both had.
Like some one else allready mentioned, a guy loves u when you will love his parrents like he does, and believe me that’s so true!
I call his mum aunty, but see her the same way i see my mum, and when i’m with her, and hubby to be is near me, i can “feel” the love from his eyes 
Trusting each other is also really important, a girl shouldn’t have any secrets for her hubby of hubby to be, one thing i learned is that always tell the truth no matter hoe difficult it is, in my case he doesn’t like it to talk about problems whenever he get’s a bit annoyed or angry he won’t call, he won’t reply and if he does reply it will be short. I really have to ask him what the hell is wrong and what happened. If he doesn’t want to tell me then it is his choice, but after a few hours when he’s tempered he will talk by himself.
Maybe some of you will find me old fashioned but like most of you know here n europe we are modernised, hubby to is also modern but still more “pakistani” in nature, and really love that making compromises is very important i think. I don’t know what rest of you all think but for me, and my relation with him is comunication, trust, fun, love for each other, love for parents, and most of all spending time with eac other most important thing ever i will inshallah stay always with him because i know what he really feels for me, i won’t pick my stuff for example after a aruement orso…
Now sue me:blush:
Commitment plays a big role in any marriage.
In arranged marriages, people that have them take marriage v.seriously and because in some cultures, divorce is such a big taboo, some couples or one part of a couple may not be happy but will endure their marriage, rather than consider divorcing or parting from their hubby/wife. Because of this, i think when many people (especially in older generations) have had arranged marriages, it's something that they don't take lightly and commit to.
sue u 4 what hun?
wait till u have to live the mil woman..then u come back n tell us how great everything is.